VORTEX

‘They symbolise the whirling mass of humanity that will flow beneath, replicating the whirling music from the orchestra,’ the artist opined to his guests.

‘Wonderful.’

‘Enchanting.’

‘They will each be placed in the optimum position to ensure the acoustics of the hall, will not be compromised.’

Nodding heads of agreement and contemplation.

‘If you will follow me through to the restrooms, I will show you the acoustically satisfying toilet bowls which follow the same vortex pattern.’

Gary, the joiner, watched them leave, scratched his chin and contemplated how the hell he was going to hang this contraption from the bloody ceiling.


dales-symphony-2
Copyright Dale Rogerson

Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

This April I am taking part in the A to Z Challenge once again. My theme is a collection of stories from around the countries of the European Union, and you can find them here: A TO Z CHALLENGE 2018

99 responses to “VORTEX”

  1. Not sure toilet bowls would be a big concern of mine relative to the symphony, though they’re important for other reasons.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s all in the details James 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This has me laughing so much. Try not to imagine the acoustics of the toilet bowls, I dare you. That was great, from the pompous artist to the hard working joiner.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ha ha ha! I love Gary’s realism! Such a contrast to the pretentious comments of the artist. I love the toilet humour too! Great writing, Iain – very entertaining!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Edith 🙂

      Like

  4. 🙂 🙂 🙂
    Still laughing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good to give a little laugh 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Love this! Pomposity versus practicality.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Love the contrast. You really captured them both.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. 😂😂😂😂 I love Gary’s toilet humour

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Took me a minute to figure out that a joiner would be a plumber in America, and now I can’t stop laughing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad you were able to get the laugh in the end.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Neel, glad it gave you a laugh

      Like

  9. I love this Iain. Brings forth a whole new meaning to Tubular Bells.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Haha, yes indeed! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  10. or should that be Tubular Bowls??

    Liked by 2 people

  11. I wonder what they have lined up for the cafeteria?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I suspect something more than a few square tables and chairs and a toastie machine! 🙂

      Like

      1. Gary will need an apprentice.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. You make a nice contrast between the pretentious artist and the practical joiner. And I can’t help wondering what the toilet sounds like…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It sounds beautiful, trust me 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I like this. I was thinking about writing a story where the interior decorator gets fired for choosing such weird fixtures but they wind up using them anyway because they were so expensive. This story does a better job of that same theme. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, I like your idea too.

      Like

  14. Dear Iain,

    Everyone is an artist in one way or the other. You started our road trip with a chuckle. Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad to have been of service, have fun! 🙂

      Like

  15. I am with Gary, Iain, hHow in heaven’s name…

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Ha! I like the vortex toilet bowl idea – I think that would would work brilliantly. Poor Gary, having to make the ‘vision’ practical

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Behind every great artist there are the workers who make it all happen. Actually typing that makes me think of my job as a TV editor, working behind the scenes, making the talent look good – oh my, I’m basically Gary!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are Gary! Hopefully your job isn’t quite so frustrating 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  17. Love this–the engineer vs. the dreamer. I’ve seen this so often.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. This was so much fun, Iain. Musical toilets… I can just imagine them 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Dale, why not eh? I’m surprised no one has installed them yet 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Really… would make the timid piddlers a little more comfortable knowing no one could hear them 😉

        Liked by 2 people

  19. Very funny story – and I have an idea thatmany similar conversations have happened. There is always that conflict between designer and executor. I am sure this is a thing of great asthetic beauty – but how the bleepin’ hell am I supposed to fix it in place?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, you can see the angry artist and exasperated builder having a running argument!

      Liked by 1 person

  20. I love Gary. Wonderful story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Lisa – I like him too!

      Liked by 1 person

  21. I liked your story. So true, thoughts with no thought as to how to make it happen. Leave that to someone else.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. oh yes, toilet bowls have the distinct acoustics. just after lunch break, when i visit the restroom at work, i often hear it accompanied by a medley of sounds like cracks of thunder before the downpour, often followed by sighs of relief. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  23. A delightful take on a Full of Himself artist.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Ha ha ha, the design does fit more naturally with a toilet bowl than with whatever the hell it is right now (I’m guessing they are lights).

    Liked by 2 people

    1. 🙂 It’s all about the aesthetics.

      Liked by 1 person

  25. I’ve got to get me one of those “acoustically satisfying toilet bowls” 🙂
    I don’t think Gary cares about the acoustics, he has more practical concerns!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wait until he starts having to install those toilets!

      Liked by 1 person

  26. Haha – gotta love a bit of toilet humour! Very clever, Iain 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you – sorry for lowering the tone! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  27. From the arty-farty speech of the artist to the pragmatism of the joiner…..you got the right mix here. Enjoyable!

    Liked by 1 person

  28. This made me laugh, not only because of the haughty descriptions of the artist, but when you mentioned the acoustics of the toilet, it brought to mind toilets in Japan, and how they play music. 🙂 Fun interpretation of the prompt!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Jan, always good to give a laugh 🙂

      Like

  29. LOL. Confuse the crowd with acoustics and leave the joiner wondering how to do it. I’ve never thought of toilet acoustics – a whole new world of sound may open up to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, you could get some installed in your bathroom 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  30. Brilliant, Iain.🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Moon 🙂

      Like

  31. Bahahaha love that last bit. Onya Gary! The reality of a dream doesn’t match the vision. Haha

    Liked by 1 person

  32. It was a perfect – and FUNNY – melding of photo and word.
    The term toilet humor will never be the same for me ;)~

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Oh Gary…
    Nice one Iain. Couldn’t stop smiling. 😊
    “…acoustically satisfying toilet bowls which follow the same vortex pattern.’”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Norma, glad to make you smile 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  34. Haha, love it. Such a delight observing perspectives 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Hahahahah! acoustics of toilet bowls indeed! Alan, have you published your books yet? I would love to read!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nothing published yet, but a novel in the works. When I do I will be sure to put it on my blog 🙂

      Like

  36. I saw toilet analogy coming in the first paragraph–the whirling. 🙂
    Great piece. I wondered how they hung them too.

    Liked by 1 person

  37. I loved the final sentiment from Gary, the feeling of listening to all the culture talk, while he is the only one doing the hard work

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Isn’t that always the way. Thanks James.

      Liked by 1 person

  38. I love how you brought this full circle. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Ha! Ha! I wonder if he is taking the piss out of them. Literally 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wonder how many artists chuckle at what they manage to get away with! 🙂

      Like

  40. Most entertaining – love the pomposity of the Arty person – sort of believable …and the plumber is a perfect ending.

    Liked by 1 person

  41. The poor guy has a dilemma, the practical meets the dreamer. Very entertaining story! I always enjoy your stories. =)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Brenda, so kind of you to say 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  42. I wonder if anyone actually aspires to design “acoustically satisfying toilet bowls”. 😉
    Let’s hope Gary manages to hang the contraption securely, so it doesn’t end up landing on some poor music lover’s head.
    Enjoyed your take on the prompt. I could easily imagine the tour taking place in the place in the picture.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I’m sure someone, somewhere must have looked at the acoustics of toilet bowls 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  43. Haha! love this! Behind every whimsical notion is the uncredited efforts that make that notion work.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, glad you liked it.

      Like

  44. The acoustics of the toilet bowls, oh my word! ha ha! really enjoyed this story, Iain. I liked how Gary has to actually make the acoustics work despite all the grand talk of the artist.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Fatima, always good to raise a laugh 🙂

      Like

  45. Flush twice, it’s a long way to the art museum Lol

    Liked by 1 person

  46. Fantastic contrasting voices. As usual the designer has no given no forethought to the poor person who will have to erect his contraption. However, I’m a little worried about those acoustically satisfying toilets.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They’re great, trust me 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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