Iain Kelly

BOB’S LAST DAY AT WORK

‘Welcome to the EMIRATES Spinnaker Tower, as I legally have to call it.’

‘It was going to be opened in 2000 and be named the Millennium Tower, but due to political ineptitude, it didn’t open until 2005, so was renamed ‘Spinnaker’, a type of sail.’

‘The tower sits on Gunwharf Quay. In the 18th-century it was an ordnance yard, supplying the Navy with armaments. Now it supplies Portsmouth residents with over-priced consumer goods and refreshments.’

‘From here you can see the English Channel, which separates us from those godawful Europeans, whom we are apparently far superior to.’

‘Enjoy your visit.’

jill-f
Copyright Jilly Funell

Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

Unlike Bob’s cynical tour, Spinnaker Tower in Portsmouth is an impressive structure and well worth a visit – Wikipedia.

Iain Kelly

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102 responses to “BOB’S LAST DAY AT WORK”

  1. Simon Avatar
    Simon

    I love this tower, the incompetence surrounding it was incredible.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      A definite trend among a lot of these big structures – years of planning and political incompetence, but somehow they get there in the end – see The O2 Arena / Millennium Dome as another prime example. At least this one was worth waiting for 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Simon Avatar
        Simon

        Yes that was another one. I think it was more a sign of the times. But they really couldn’t organise stuff back then.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Simon Avatar
        Simon

        I posted it 🙂

        Like

      3. Simon Avatar
        Simon

        oops… sorry wrong person lol

        Liked by 1 person

  2. ceayr Avatar
    ceayr

    A little bit of politics this week, Iain?
    ‘political ineptitude’ and Brexit are synonyms, I think.
    Nice one.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Brexit is the latest phase. I wonder if there ever has been, or ever will be, a time when politics wasn’t/isn’t dominated by ineptitude?

      Like

      Reply
  3. Edith M. Field Avatar
    Edith M. Field

    Bob certainly didn’t hold back! What a way to go!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I do like to imagine when I reach my retirement day, I might go round and tell some colleagues some truths before I go!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  4. Kelley Farrell Avatar
    Kelley Farrell

    Ha! I imagine I’d be very similar on my last day. “Welcome, get out.”

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      It is a fantasy for sure, I look forward to the day 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  5. joyroses13 Avatar
    joyroses13

    LOL!! I was thinking when I read the title that maybe it was his last day because of getting murdered. Must still have your last post in mind of the hand waving bye! 🙂
    Glad he is still alive and obviously he is not shy about speaking his true feelings. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you – managed to steer away from any bodies in this one 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  6. trentpmcd Avatar
    trentpmcd

    lol. If he wasn’t planning for it to be his last day, he certainly made sure it was.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Going out in style 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  7. Bettina Avatar
    Bettina

    Ha ha, loved the tone of this piece

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you 😉

      Like

      Reply
  8. rochellewisoff Avatar
    rochellewisoff

    Dear Iain,

    The title pretty much says it all. Love the snarky tone of it.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Rochelle, I feel I can do ‘snarky tone’ quite well, not necessarily in writing 😉

      Like

      Reply
  9. neeltheauthor- author of WHEN LIFE THROWS THOSE CURVE BALLS Avatar
    neeltheauthor- author of WHEN LIFE THROWS THOSE CURVE BALLS

    You are still little worked up over Brexit and ‘ineptitude’ seems apt here. Lovely story, Kelly.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Neel – Be prepared, Brexit and the fallout is going to last at least another couple of years – I’ll try to not write about it in every story!! 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  10. Sandra Avatar
    Sandra

    Way to go, Bob. Just hope the pension is fully proofed.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      They wouldn’t take it off him, would they?…

      Like

      Reply
  11. pennygadd51 Avatar
    pennygadd51

    I enjoyed this, Iain. You let Bob have a pop at everything, don’t you?!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I think he may have been holding it inside for awhile, letting it build up!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  12. tidalscribe Avatar
    tidalscribe

    So many millenium projects weren’t ready, but we love them in the end. It was probably the same with Stonehenge…

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Ha, I can just imagine 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  13. James Pyles Avatar
    James Pyles

    Ha! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      🙂

      Like

      Reply
  14. Abhijit Ray Avatar
    Abhijit Ray

    A little delay is not bad. It came up eventually and offers a grand view. Nice story. A little sarcastic.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Bob is a very sarcastic man.

      Like

      Reply
  15. Dale Avatar
    Dale

    I like Bob. Going out with a bang! (And not a jump as I feared!)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      No, he would only have jumped if they had told him he had to keep working there for another ten years before he could retire! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Dale Avatar
        Dale

        Exackery!!

        Liked by 1 person

  16. neilmacdon Avatar
    neilmacdon

    It’s rantier than mine, but who doesn’t enjoy a good rant. Speaking of which … that bloody Theresa May! Don’t get me started. And the wee orange bampot in the White House. Nuff said

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      In other stories for other prompts I realise I have been going on about politics far too much. I need to find a different topic to take my mind off it all!

      Like

      Reply
      1. neilmacdon Avatar
        neilmacdon

        All life is political

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Iain Kelly Avatar
        Iain Kelly

        For some reason that fact makes me despair.

        Like

      3. neilmacdon Avatar
        neilmacdon

        Does all politics is life create more hope?

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Iain Kelly Avatar
        Iain Kelly

        You must know some different politicians to the ones I see on the news everyday 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      5. neilmacdon Avatar
        neilmacdon

        Oh them. They’re life too, but just not as we know it, Captain

        Liked by 1 person

  17. granonine Avatar
    granonine

    I’m glad some of you knew what this was. It looked like a sail, but I didn’t have any clue, even after I googled the picture 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      It was designed to look like a sail, so at least you spotted that 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  18. JS Brand Avatar
    JS Brand

    Ouch! I wonder how many people actually see through their intention to get something like this off their chests on their last day. Strangely, the photo reminded me of a visit to Portsmouth Historic Dockyard, when we were looked after by the best guide I’ve ever met at any attraction. I can’t imagine him doing a Bob.
    I enjoyed your take on the prompt Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I should add a disclaimer *other tour guides are available* 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  19. znjavid Avatar
    znjavid

    “Overpriced consumer goods and refreshments”… We have quite a few such towers here in the Middle East.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      All these towers, what will they keep filling them with?

      Like

      Reply
      1. znjavid Avatar
        znjavid

        They’re money making machines

        Liked by 1 person

  20. JoHawkTheWriter Avatar
    JoHawkTheWriter

    LOL I love Bob! Now if you could turn up the snark a few degrees he would start to sound like some people I know. 😲 Great story Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I think everyone has this snarky side – we just don’t say it out loud! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  21. StuHN Avatar
    StuHN

    I’ve always wanted to go out in a blaze of glory like Bob. My theater group used to brain storm, on a long drive to a gig, what we’d like to do at our very last ever performance. Not for the faint of heart. 🙂 This made me think of those times, and laugh at Bob’s chutzpah!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you, sounds like a great idea – I can just imagine some of the responses, or maybe not! Glad it brought back happy memories 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  22. Priya Avatar
    Priya

    Bob won’t lie on his last day at work, would he?
    He can finally let it all out without having to worry about the repercussions.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Exactly! Thank you 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  23. plaridel Avatar
    plaridel

    just telling it like it is on his last day at work. well, he’s entitled to it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      …although the management may not be too pleased 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  24. anuragbakhshi Avatar
    anuragbakhshi

    I am wondering if he said all this(the truth) because it was his last day, or it became his last day when he said all this 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      It could work either way round – but I think Bob knew what he was doing either way.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  25. Prior... Avatar
    Prior…

    hahaha – that is funny that wiki said:

    Unlike Bob’s cynical tour, Spinnaker Tower in Portsmouth is an impressive structure and well worth a visit

    and really clever way to expound on that for your fiction
    – still laughing.

    and we took a boat tour in June and the host on the loudspeaker was bias and opinionated and it is really funny when this happens.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you – I think it is always more entertaining and enlightening when you cut through the corporate speak and just be honest about these things 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Prior... Avatar
        Prior…

        Yes – honest and no head games

        Liked by 1 person

  26. draliman Avatar
    draliman

    I don’t think Bob’s heart is really in it 🙂
    I would have set my story in Portsmouth if I’d recognised the structure. Why is almost everything in this country sponsored by Emirates? I don’t even know what “Emirates” is…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I know – we have an Emirates Arena in Glasgow, Manchester has the Emirates Stadium, Emirates Tower… Who are these Emirates? They didn’t build any of these things!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. draliman Avatar
        draliman

        I bet they’ve got a ton of money though…

        Liked by 1 person

  27. jillyfunnell Avatar
    jillyfunnell

    As you say, somehow they get there in the end but what amazing incompetence. Maybe those involved shouldn’t start off thinking they are all-powerful. A bit of humble in the pie would be welcome. But Bob, oh I love Bob. Who wouldn’t want to let loose like that on the last day. Go Bob!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I would want to have Bob as my tour guide for sure! 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  28. Brenda's Thoughts Avatar
    Brenda’s Thoughts

    Last day of work freed Bob’s tongue to speak his mind. I’ve had those moments when I ached to just say what I thought!! I could feel Bob’s angst, maybe he was fired so he thought, “Why not?” Well-written as always!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Brenda. I would love to be in that position too, where I could just say ‘why not?’!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  29. Rowena Avatar
    Rowena

    Iain, it’s interesting how different ones of us see something different in the photo and what that’s about. I decided to focus more on the stairs and only noticed the sail shape after reading a few of the responses. Bit concerned about Bob’s mindset. Sounds like the type who’d go abroad and complain about the foreigners.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Haha, very possibly, but I think he would complain with a knowing wink and smile 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  30. subroto Avatar
    subroto

    Bob is a builder, surely he can fix it? Every once in a while everyone needs a good rant 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Ha, you have no idea how much Bob The builder is watched in my household. I’m a big fan 🙂

      Like

      Reply
      1. subroto Avatar
        subroto

        I’ve done my share of watching 😉
        In a way I miss those days, they are precious.

        Liked by 1 person

  31. Russell Gayer Avatar
    Russell Gayer

    I love the sarcasm in the tour guide’s voice. Let’s hope no butt cracks were exposed in the building of this tower.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Perhaps Bob’s very final act will be to deliver his own eyeful.

      Like

      Reply
  32. ForgivingConnects Avatar
    ForgivingConnects

    This is really well-written, Iain! With a bit of attitude and sarcasm yet also quite likable. Love this!
    Blessings to you 🙂 and very interesting post.
    Debbie

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you so much Debbie, so glad you enjoyed 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  33. Woman walking Max Avatar
    Woman walking Max

    I like the tone of your story, a sort of world weariness, some cynicism perhaps about how things are. Do the Emirates own the Spinnaker ? Bet Bob is counting the minutes til he leaves. Topical stuff Iain- well done

    Like

    Reply
  34. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) Avatar
    Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    Imagine what you can do on your last day at work… I need to make plans.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I’ve been storing up plans for years, but I still have so long to wait!

      Like

      Reply
  35. theministryofshrawleywalks Avatar
    theministryofshrawleywalks

    Brilliant, a bored cynical tour guide, there must be plenty out there!!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I think more should speak their mind! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. theministryofshrawleywalks Avatar
        theministryofshrawleywalks

        Absolutely, I met a bloke who did gin tours of his distillery the other week, he was bladdered and was telling me I should have gone with him to see it there and then! Would have been fun I think!

        Liked by 1 person

  36. James McEwan Avatar
    James McEwan

    Nice touch, a guide with attitude.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks James

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  37. Inside the Mind of Isadora Avatar
    Inside the Mind of Isadora

    Before I begin my comment, I wanted to give you 5 stars for having so many comments. It is a testament to your writing. Your descriptive account presented in such an enjoyable way. I felt like I had taken a tour of a historical place. Wonderful 👍
    Isadora 😎

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you so much. Getting lots of comments and feedback makes it worthwhile coming up with these stories each week 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Inside the Mind of Isadora Avatar
        Inside the Mind of Isadora

        Good writing will do that … 😎

        Liked by 1 person

  38. Anshu Bhojnagarwala Avatar
    Anshu Bhojnagarwala

    Sarcasm, sarcasm, sarcasm – but how I love it! Also I am a sucker for historical facts.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Anshu, glad you liked it 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  39. lisarey1990 Avatar
    lisarey1990

    Love Bob! Great job.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Lisa, Bob seems to be quite popular 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  40. michaelwynnauthor Avatar
    michaelwynnauthor

    Nice bit of history I wasn’t aware of

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Michael

      Like

      Reply
  41. Dawn M. Miller Avatar
    Dawn M. Miller

    What a grump!
    You’ve portrayed him well.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      But a lovable one! Thanks Dawn.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  42. magarisa Avatar
    magarisa

    I would’ve liked to be there to hear Bob’s rant… it would certainly have been a memorable experience. Topical and humourous take on the prompt.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  43. Fatima Fakier Avatar
    Fatima Fakier

    I think I’d have enjoyed Bob’s tour, if only for the cyclical humour. Enjoyed the history behind it too. And well done for touching on a very hot topic in such a satirical way.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Fatima 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  44. Sascha Darlington Avatar
    Sascha Darlington

    Ha! Go, Bob! Now I understand why it’s his last day of work. Very scathing and well done, Iain!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Sascha

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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