BIRTHDAY PARTY

Darlene, with a pink bow in her hair, was spun round three times before she stumbled towards the donkey picture.

While everyone was distracted, Marcus and Tommy dipped their fingers into the cake icing and savoured the sweet sugar rush.

Penny stood by the railings in a huff after she had lost out on Pass The Parcel and Musical Statues. It was her birthday after all.

Michael sat in his car watching. He was sweating. He knew he was doing wrong. He knew he should just drive away. He knew he was evil. But the urge wouldn’t leave him alone.


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Copyright J Hardy Carroll

Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.


My first novel, ‘A Justified State,’ is available now
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98 responses to “BIRTHDAY PARTY”

  1. A great capture of kids at a party.
    What was Micheal’s deal? I got a kiddy fiddler vibe, but I guess he could be a divorced dad or something.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think your first instinct was right…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Iain,

    My, that took a grim turn at the end. I think what happens next is worse than a few hurt feelings. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I live in hope that he just drives away without having acted on anything he may have wished to do. Thanks Rochelle, hope your trip was good!

      Like

  3. The end delivers a punch! Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Colline.

      Like

  4. Chilling little tale, Iain

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Now that was unexpected and chilling, Iain. Nicely done.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Susan, much appreciated.

      Like

  6. A lovely story – until the very end. Nice one Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ouch. I’m assuming adults are around so all he can do is watch, but still, creepy enough….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Let’s hope so, but even still, not so good.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh, chilling. I wonder what Micheal is up to (my mind went to some sort of domestic violence/gun violence). Hopefully he just has social anxiety and feels bad for missing the party.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I fear it may be even worse than what you were imagining… Thanks for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Iain, too horrible to contemplate. Evil oozes out onto the page. Really good writing,

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Scary story, Iain. I hope the parents are watching. Michael seems up to no good. Well written. —- Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you – perhaps Michael will listen to the voice inside that is telling him this is wrong.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. What a creepy story and very well written.
    I guess we have written along similar lines, Kelly

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Chilling last paragraph. Took something, to me, that was sad: competition games at a Birthday party. Attention of parents not always focussed.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Umm.. wait, I think you forgot to finish the story! That last sentence just does not paint a pretty picture and my mind is going! Good job! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you – not a good picture at all. Thankfully in this case it is purely fiction.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I just wish it was sooo fictional that my mind wouldn’t even know what that last sentence was insinuating!

        Liked by 1 person

  14. Well that certainly took a dark turn.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep, it really did.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Sounds a little too real. A reminder we must watch out for the kids. Good story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Darnell, unfortunately I’m sure it is real

      Like

  16. Wow, good thing I don’t have little kids anymore or this would make me paranoid at the next party they went to!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Not a nice topic to think about. I guess we should remember that despite the amount that is reported in the news, it is still a rare occurrence for this to happen.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Whoa! That went south pretty fast. You captured the party so well ~ then Mr. Creepy stepped in. Kudos.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Chilling, Iain.
    Is it too much to hope that Michael – with his awareness that he’s doing wrong – might seek therapy before he does something irrevocable? I do hope so…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is the glimmer of hope I suppose – he knows it is wrong so maybe he can stop himself.

      Like

  19. That is soooo dark. Por kiddies.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I was a little apprehensive publishing it. Dark even by my standards.

      Like

  20. Sinister Iain……..

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Nasty man…a slice of real life, unfortunately.

    DB McNicol
    author, traveler, shutterbug
    Author Blog
    Personal Blog

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Creepy man, that last one.
    I hope he drives himself right into therapy.
    As for the kids–lovely description of a birthday party’s complex hierarchies and realities …
    UGH for the creep peep, though…

    Well written, Iain!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, he does seem to know he needs help, so fingers crossed.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. yeah. hopefully he’ll head to the therapist pronto.

        Liked by 1 person

  23. i guess he wasn’t invited, so i suppose he planned to crash the party.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Or worse. Thanks for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Oh that sinister twist. He should drive away and head straight to a psychiatrist.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Let’s hope he does.

      Like

  25. Oh boy. Just when it was bringing back memories of childhood birthday parties, Michael hove into view…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kinda puts a damper on it.

      Liked by 1 person

  26. Everyone had an agenda in this birthday party. What was Michael doing other than watching the birthday girl to be so afraid?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am happy your mind is innocent enough to not see the evil that is presented.

      Like

      1. I shall read again. What is the evil?

        Like

  27. This is a jolting reminder that there are predators out there. I hope Michael’s sense of wrong is a lot stronger than his urge.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Me too. Thanks for reading.

      Like

  28. I love how all these things are going on at the same time… though that last one…we could do without. No good. (but wonderful writing)

    Liked by 1 person

  29. The birthday party was well described and the ending unexpected with an expert twist. I also hope Michael drives on by. A reminder we must always be on the guard for predators such as him. Great writing as always!

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Jesus H Christ! That was a horrible ending Iain, brilliantly disgustingly repulsively dark. Great stuff as ever!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. Yep, it was horrible, I admit.

      Like

  31. So much creep in so few words. Impressive.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. We had similar thoughts this week. What’s wrong with us ? Or maybe it’s the world.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s definitely the world. Thanks Liz.

      Like

  33. Uh oh. Sounds like Micheal might be up to no good. Hope she’s careful.

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Now that’s a lovely vignette of a child’s birthday party but with an unexpected ominous ending.

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Oh that’s a chilling twist. Well done. I definitely didn’t expect that.

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Hope the adults aren’t too distracted. Nice composition. Using first names to start each paragraph, you lull us into believing we are being told about children at the party, and then–BANG!

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Just read Neel’s and now yours. Well done but leaves a bad taste and please, the next time you are looking for a name for a paedophile, would you mind avoiding Michael.

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Great piece, that reminds me of the a Stephen King style..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A nice compliment to receive – thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

  39. Boy, that little story made a U-turn for the dark side.
    Let’s hope he can overcome his sick urges.

    Liked by 1 person

  40. I’ve got a sniper friend who would gladly “pin” Michael. Want me to give him a holler??? hehe! Great story!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, that’s one way to take care of him! Thanks for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

  41. Oh when a man watches kids in that way…nothing good is coming.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Definitely not. Thanks Bjorn

      Like

  42. […] Birthday Party, Iain Kelly adds an unwelcome visitor to the […]

    Like

  43. Kalpana Solsi Avatar
    Kalpana Solsi

    Hope he is not a party-spoiler/ he knew he was wrong and evil. but he is helpless. the ending was totally unexpected.

    https://ideasolsi65.blogspot.com/2019/05/the-dark-horse.html

    Liked by 1 person

  44. Scary story!
    The not knowing was the scariest part!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Dawn, I agree, scary.

      Liked by 1 person

  45. OMG no that last line… nooooo
    Well told Iain

    Liked by 1 person

  46. Creepy ending, Iain, too much of that is heard about nowadays.
    A definite timely piece of writing.
    Isadora 😎

    Liked by 1 person

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