Nick’s visor kept steaming up. He was breathing too hard and too fast. The only way he could clear his sight was to lift the visor open and wipe it with his gloved fingers, but now that they were outside the sealed command base that wasn’t an option. No-one knew for sure what the atmosphere consisted of. There were differing reports of what chemical weapons had been used in this area over the past years.
He lugged his weapon up as the platoon started moving forward again. The scouts had deemed the area over the ridge of rubble as clear of enemy activity. The ground shook as the ranks mobilised. Through his fogged vision he could see the masses of rubble that surrounded them. The remains of the once great city destroyed by years of religious terrorism and war.
As they moved along Nick thought about how his life had changed when his orders for compulsary service had come through. The quiet, simple life on Lake Michigan that he had yearned to leave behind he now wished more than ever to return to. This was not the way he had wanted to travel the world. It wasn’t the way he had wanted to see the sights of London – or what was left of them.
Written as part of Sunday Photo Fiction. Write a story of around 200 words based on the photo prompt given (above). For more details visit HERE.
For more stories based on this week’s prompt visit HERE.
Nicely done, Iain, but a bit light on the laughs, I think.
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Stuck in work on a Sunday, obviously affected my mood 🙂
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A dark future that you describe well. With your descriptions, you have coloured the area perfectly.
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Many thanks.
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Grim and plausible. Great voice, too.
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Many thanks.
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Chilling and grim and sadly realistic; great voice.
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Thanks Joy.
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Fantastic Iain, really. I love how you create so much in a short flash
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Ah, you’re too kind, but thanks! 🙂
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Lol I am certainly seldom kind! You do write great short pieces always with a twist.
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Now the task is to try and write something a bit longer like you, well maybe not exactly like you, but you know what I mean 😉
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Iain I am sure you would NOT want to inhabit the crazy world in my head but I do know what you mean. I am sure you can do it. Just don’t look down off the tightrope x
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Reblogged this on Let it come from the heart and commented:
A chilling short story that would provide a great introduction to a longer piece of writing, too. I love how so much has been written in such a short space.
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Many thanks Laura, and thanks for the reblog.
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Well done. I like the discomfort and edge of safety. The twist at the end is great.
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Many thanks for reading and the kind comment.
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Even though you have set this in the present/future I believe it is apropos for our grandparents and parents who served in the past.
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Very dystopian, Iain. Poor London. Good writing.
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Many thanks
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See, I wouldn’t have been able to get away from the Halo references, given the picture. Kudos.
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Very true, no one’s done the halo story yet if you want to give it a go 🙂
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The world is not ready for ninety-thousand word Halo/Harry Pottet/Hunger Games crossover fic. Mostly as I haven’t written it. You may be onto something
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Look forward to reading that 🙂
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Drew a very vivid chilling picture which could very well be true. And it reminded me of the saying – be careful of what you ask for your may get it 🙂
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