ALCOHOLIC

Maisie propped her handmade sign on the dusty old chair.

‘I finished it,’ she announced. Her father looked at the pink and blue flowers and bright childish writing.

‘For sale,’ he read aloud, then looked at his daughter. ‘That’s great, Maisie. What are we selling?’

Maisie gestured to all the junk that filled the garage.

‘All this stuff.’

‘Why’s that now?’

‘Cos Mama said either it went or she went, and I don’t want Mama to go.’

He smiled  at her.

‘Sometimes your Mama says things she don’t mean, especially when she’s mad like that.’

‘So she ain’t leaving?’

‘Oh, she might leave, but clearing out this garage won’t make a bit of difference either way.’

Maisie looked crestfallen. ‘Is it the demons in them bottles again?’

Her father nodded.

‘Maisie girl, you want to help me clear up this place’

‘I guess.’

‘Come on then.’

They worked all afternoon filling boxes and loading them into the car to go to the dump. Mama sure will be delighted when she wakes up, Maisie thought.


02-jhardycarroll-05-february-2017
© J Hardy Carroll

Written as part of Sunday Photo Fiction. Write a story of around 200 words based on the photo prompt given (above). For more details visit HERE.

To read more stories based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

35 responses to “ALCOHOLIC”

  1. Another compelling piece with a great twist at the end.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Shehanne. Not sure where this one came from, just started writing and that’s where it ended up.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It was nicely done (Lol that is how I write. I just start and then–then the mess is unbelievable. )

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ha, in among that mess is your next great novel though! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Lol….. AS I sit untangling the mess…… I only wish x

        Liked by 1 person

  2. A subtle piece of writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. If it were only that easy to clean up the real mess, eh? Nicely written as always.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Alcoholism really is the demon. Well written Iain (as if you could write any other way)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Many thanks (some are better than others!)

      Liked by 1 person

  5. A very sad situation for the child, indeed. This is such a realistic portrayal.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Pamela, glad it came across as real people in a real situation.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Penned so beautifully… Poor child… And looks like a patient father… I hope things get better for them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Many thanks, much appreciated. Hopefully better times ahead for them.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Nicely done. I get a clear picture of the problems caused by the demons in those bottles, and the relationship between these three, with just a few well-placed hints.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Joy. Good that you managed to get such a lot from my few words.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. In a few words, you develop strong character sketches. Well done as usual.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Lorraine, always appreciate your comments.

      Like

  9. ….and the children suffer the most. written with such depth! she believes she can help her mother and I hope the mother wakes up feeling better not seeing all the bottles there. The girl will do well later on – she has a kind father.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. some of the best stuff comes with just writing doesn’t it? Great piece

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, I agree, don’t think too much, just write and see what comes out.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. sometimes it’s best not to ask how one’s mind works – that way lies the funny farm…

        Liked by 1 person

  11. I love the shot of hope at the end, especially from Maisie’s innocent viewpoint. Nice touch.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks John, pleased you saw some hope in there.

      Like

  12. Brevity when it comes to penning character sketches that leap out of the page is your forte. Greatly enjoyed this, Lain.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Neel, very kind.

      Like

  13. very well done. It was nice to have the innocence of the child, who presumes everything will be fine once the bottles are removed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very kind Sascha, thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Nicely done. The child’s voice is spot-on.

    Like

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