IAIN KELLY

SACRIFICE

The last of his comrades made it to the end of the bridge. They didn’t look back.

He turned and saw the first of Franco’s troops cresting the hill and charging down the slope towards him.

He winced at the pain from his shredded legs. The blood pumped from the bullet holes. He tried pulling himself forward on the wooden planks of the bridge. There was no way he would make it to the other side in time.

He took the grenade from his pocket. He put the pin in his mouth and pulled it out. He held the grenade to his chest and lay down on the bridge. He saw the blue sky.


Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details here). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (below).

For more stories, visit the INLINKZ GROUP

adamickes-boardwalk
© Adam Ickes

52 responses to “SACRIFICE”

  1. rochellewisoff Avatar

    Dear Iain,

    Graphic and powerful. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iainthekid Avatar
      iainthekid

      Thanks Rochelle, glad you appreciated it. Iain

      Like

  2. neilmacdon Avatar

    I liked the (usually impermissible) machine gun repeat of the start of the last four sentences

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iainthekid Avatar
      iainthekid

      Rules are made to be broken! Thanks for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. neilmacdon Avatar

        Yup. The trick is knowing when you can get away with it

        Liked by 2 people

  3. gahlearner Avatar
    gahlearner

    Gripping action. The sentences are getting shorter and shorter, the desperation and urgency rises. And the last line is the perfect stop. Great story.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. iainthekid Avatar
      iainthekid

      Thanks for the kind comment, glad you liked it, and got the sense and emotion I was trying to convey. Best, Iain

      Liked by 1 person

  4. MrBinks Avatar
    MrBinks

    Very evocative and I love the short sharp sentences. Big fan.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iainthekid Avatar
      iainthekid

      Thanks for reading and pleased you liked the style. Best, Iain.

      Like

  5. michael1148humphris Avatar
    michael1148humphris

    Noble and poignant.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Lynn Love Avatar

    Tragic tale and well told. The short sentences do add to the poor, and the repetition too. A life cut short – let’s hope the sacrifice made a difference. Nice write, Iain

    Like

    1. iainthekid Avatar
      iainthekid

      Thanks Lynn, glad you liked and yes, let’s hope his act made a difference in some way!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lynn Love Avatar

        Let’s hope so. Great tale Iain

        Like

  7. FabricatingFiction Avatar

    Brave until the end!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Joy Pixley Avatar

    Adding my vote to the power of the short sentences. Such a tragic and yet hopeful look at this last desperate decision, that he can make one last effort to do his duty and help his friends.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iainthekid Avatar
      iainthekid

      Thanks for reading and commenting Joy, really pleased people are appreciating the style of the piece.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Sandra Avatar

    There’s something noble about choosing your own time, and your own way. Good one.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. helenmidgley Avatar

    brutal and tragic, but a great read all the same 🙂

    Like

  11. ceayr Avatar

    Clever piece of writing.
    Well done.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Fred Rock 715 Avatar
    Fred Rock 715

    The blue sky at the end was a nice touch.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iainthekid Avatar
      iainthekid

      Thanks, a last minute addition as I felt it needed a beat at the end. Glad you appreciated and thanks for reading.

      Like

  13. maria Avatar

    Oh wow. There’s a WWII vibe in this piece. Well penned, Iain. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iainthekid Avatar
      iainthekid

      Thanks, that’s the vibe and era I was looking at. Thanks for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. maria Avatar

        You certainly hit the bull’s eye with this one then. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  14. rgayer55 Avatar

    You built the tension well. Hopefully, his sacrifice bought more time for his comrades to escape.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. draliman Avatar

    I guessed the end (he was pretty much screwed), but great piece! Hopefully his sacrifice will gain time for his comrades to escape.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iainthekid Avatar
      iainthekid

      Yes, it was only going to end one way! Thanks for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. jellico84 Avatar
    jellico84

    Oh, but this one was a blast… great write. So much happens in war that no one ever knows. I highly suspect this type of thing happens all too often. otherwise, why would we have the saying: “falling on a grenade for—-…” Love the write.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Al Avatar

    Hopefully his sacrifice saved his companions. I liked how the last line was seeing the blue sky

    Liked by 1 person

  18. TraceyDelaplainMD.com Avatar

    Bang!
    I like it.
    Tracey

    Liked by 1 person

  19. rosemawrites Avatar

    the details so vivid. this is cringe-inducing!!! and so well-written! great, Ian! Glad to be able to read you now!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iainthekid Avatar

      Thank you, and so glad you can visit my site now! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. rosemawrites Avatar

        i am too! 😀

        Like

  20. mjlstories Avatar

    Graphic and tragic. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Ashley Danielle Avatar
    Ashley Danielle

    Beautifully written and what a powerful image in the midst of a war. Thank you for sharing this story.
    Ashley~

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iainthekid Avatar

      Thanks for reading and the kind words, Ashley, glad you liked it. Iain

      Like

  22. wmqcolby Avatar

    Whoa! That’s a keeper! Nice job, Iain. The ultimate sacrifice.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Clare Hempstead Avatar

    How tragic, but brave. I too loved the style. I am often fascinated how differently we all develop our stories from the prompt.

    Like

  24. ansumani Avatar

    War are won by such bravery. Nicely written

    Liked by 1 person

  25. patriciaruthsusan Avatar

    I would guess he was accomplishing two things, blowing up the bridge, and blowing up part of the troops along with himself. Great tension and action, Iain. Good writing. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

  26. spicedmullings Avatar

    So graphic! A portrayal of true heroism which is in dearth today! WEll done!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. iainthekid Avatar

      Thanks for reading and kind comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  27. athling2001 Avatar

    Very intense and well written. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iainthekid Avatar

      Thanks for reading and nice comment.

      Like

  28. D. Wallace Peach Avatar

    Well done. Intense story.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. terryspear Avatar
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Many thanks!

      Like

  30. purpleslobinrecovery Avatar

    Wow! That grabbed my heart and gave a gigantic squeeze!! Heroes like that are hard to find in the media today. WE have them, just the mainstream media doesn’t want to talk about them.
    You’ve done an excellent job.
    Thanks so much for the follow!

    Liked by 1 person

  31. The Hedonist Avatar

    Very short but gripping. Short sentences conveyed a lot. Tragic but that’s the Act of valor. Liked it. 😊😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Many thanks, very kind comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  32. MythRider Avatar

    The last act of a hero.

    Liked by 1 person

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