The last of his comrades made it to the end of the bridge. They didn’t look back.
He turned and saw the first of Franco’s troops cresting the hill and charging down the slope towards him.
He winced at the pain from his shredded legs. The blood pumped from the bullet holes. He tried pulling himself forward on the wooden planks of the bridge. There was no way he would make it to the other side in time.
He took the grenade from his pocket. He put the pin in his mouth and pulled it out. He held the grenade to his chest and lay down on the bridge. He saw the blue sky.
Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details here). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (below).
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Dear Iain,
Graphic and powerful. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle, glad you appreciated it. Iain
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I liked the (usually impermissible) machine gun repeat of the start of the last four sentences
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Rules are made to be broken! Thanks for reading.
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Yup. The trick is knowing when you can get away with it
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Gripping action. The sentences are getting shorter and shorter, the desperation and urgency rises. And the last line is the perfect stop. Great story.
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Thanks for the kind comment, glad you liked it, and got the sense and emotion I was trying to convey. Best, Iain
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Very evocative and I love the short sharp sentences. Big fan.
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Thanks for reading and pleased you liked the style. Best, Iain.
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Noble and poignant.
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Tragic tale and well told. The short sentences do add to the poor, and the repetition too. A life cut short – let’s hope the sacrifice made a difference. Nice write, Iain
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Thanks Lynn, glad you liked and yes, let’s hope his act made a difference in some way!
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Let’s hope so. Great tale Iain
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Brave until the end!
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Adding my vote to the power of the short sentences. Such a tragic and yet hopeful look at this last desperate decision, that he can make one last effort to do his duty and help his friends.
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Thanks for reading and commenting Joy, really pleased people are appreciating the style of the piece.
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There’s something noble about choosing your own time, and your own way. Good one.
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brutal and tragic, but a great read all the same 🙂
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Clever piece of writing.
Well done.
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The blue sky at the end was a nice touch.
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Thanks, a last minute addition as I felt it needed a beat at the end. Glad you appreciated and thanks for reading.
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Oh wow. There’s a WWII vibe in this piece. Well penned, Iain. 🙂
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Thanks, that’s the vibe and era I was looking at. Thanks for reading.
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You certainly hit the bull’s eye with this one then. 😀
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You built the tension well. Hopefully, his sacrifice bought more time for his comrades to escape.
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I guessed the end (he was pretty much screwed), but great piece! Hopefully his sacrifice will gain time for his comrades to escape.
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Yes, it was only going to end one way! Thanks for reading.
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Oh, but this one was a blast… great write. So much happens in war that no one ever knows. I highly suspect this type of thing happens all too often. otherwise, why would we have the saying: “falling on a grenade for—-…” Love the write.
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Hopefully his sacrifice saved his companions. I liked how the last line was seeing the blue sky
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Bang!
I like it.
Tracey
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the details so vivid. this is cringe-inducing!!! and so well-written! great, Ian! Glad to be able to read you now!
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Thank you, and so glad you can visit my site now! 🙂
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i am too! 😀
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Graphic and tragic. Well done.
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Beautifully written and what a powerful image in the midst of a war. Thank you for sharing this story.
Ashley~
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Thanks for reading and the kind words, Ashley, glad you liked it. Iain
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Whoa! That’s a keeper! Nice job, Iain. The ultimate sacrifice.
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How tragic, but brave. I too loved the style. I am often fascinated how differently we all develop our stories from the prompt.
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War are won by such bravery. Nicely written
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I would guess he was accomplishing two things, blowing up the bridge, and blowing up part of the troops along with himself. Great tension and action, Iain. Good writing. 🙂 — Suzanne
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So graphic! A portrayal of true heroism which is in dearth today! WEll done!
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Thanks for reading and kind comment.
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Very intense and well written. Thanks for sharing.
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Thanks for reading and nice comment.
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Well done. Intense story.
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Beautiful!
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Many thanks!
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Wow! That grabbed my heart and gave a gigantic squeeze!! Heroes like that are hard to find in the media today. WE have them, just the mainstream media doesn’t want to talk about them.
You’ve done an excellent job.
Thanks so much for the follow!
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Very short but gripping. Short sentences conveyed a lot. Tragic but that’s the Act of valor. Liked it. 😊😊
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Many thanks, very kind comment.
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The last act of a hero.
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Thank you
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