The boy watched his father standing by the sea on the pebble beach. The sun shone in the clear sky, the water shimmered in the breeze. He prodded at the stones with his toe. Beneath them he saw a small, brown object. He picked it up. Pieces flaked away when he picked at the structure. As he held it up to get a closer look, a dead wasp fell from it.
His father turned and approached him. He smiled and put his arm round his son.
‘A wasp’s nest.’ his father said.
They walked along the beach together. The boy decided to take the wasp’s nest to his sister’s grave to share it with her.
Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details here). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).
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Great story, Iain, with a heartbreaking ending. Was not expecting that one. Very well visualised and well told
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Thanks for kind comment Lynn, glad you appreciated it.
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My pleasure 🙂
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I liked the evocation of the seashore
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Thanks, always a challenge to create atmosphere with limited words, but a good discipline to stick to!
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Dear Iain,
I felt like I was there on the beach with them. You last line turned the tranquil scene on its ear and broke my heart. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle, enjoyed writing this one, glad you appreciated it.
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A sad turn at the end there. Well done.
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I wasn’t expecting that ending. Sad and lovely at the same time
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What a tender story… I like the parallel between the dead sister and the nest… somehow the story is there.
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Such a peaceful scene between father and son, and then the sad twist. I didn’t see it coming either. Still, it is a lovely scene, full of love despite the loss.
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Thanks, that was what I intended, dealing with their loss but still living.
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Great story, quite a melancholy feel to it right from the start.
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I assume the boy was quite young and innocent. Interesting parallel between the dead wasp and his sister. Somehow, I think she would be pleased at his willingness to share his new find.
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Glad that you got the parallel between the 2 deaths. Thanks for reading.
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Ooh, great ending! I wasn’t expecting that, it got me right in the gut. Well done! ☺
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Many thanks, glad it got you!
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Great story. What an adorable thing to do sharing with his sister. So sad this story
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i didn’t expect the sad ending. well done.
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I love when children find the simple things of nature so wonderful. The last line brought a lump to my throat. Great job! 🙂
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Many thanks Clare, much appreciated.
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I love how you pulled us into the story with the description in the first paragraph. I felt like I was there with him on the beach. Beautiful
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Many thanks, glad you appreciated it.
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Very beautiful picture of family sharing, exactly what a wasp has. Just read mine to know!
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Thanks. It does fit in nicely with wasp family sharing – although I didn’t know that about wasps when I wrote ir!
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I know! That’s what makes it so beautiful!
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Much pathos Iain in this brief story – it surely touched my heart thank you 🙂
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Thanks for reading and your kind comment, much appreciated.
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Good posts, beautiful blog .. Congratulations
Welcome to see my artwork
http://paintdigi.wordpress.com
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lovely little story. I give our wasp and hornets’ nests to the neighbors’ kids for show and tell in the schools they attend.
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Thanks, much appreciated. Fascinating creatures.
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I love the double idea of taking the dwelling of the dead to the dwelling of the dead. Very heartfelt and touching.
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Sweet story with a sad ending, Iain, Good writing, —- Suzanne
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Many thanks Suzanne, appreciate your reading and comment.
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That is how I wish I could write. The final sentence tied it all up in the readers mind and seared in all the feelings in a few words. Bravo!
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You’re very kind, thank you. I’m glad you got so much from it.
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I enjoyed how you tied this all together. You left me quietly thinking.
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A touching story. The closeness between father and son is beautifully shown, as is the boy’s desire to share his find with his dead sister. Sad
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Wow, simple, creative, and so beautiful. It’s harder to write simply and I wish I had this knack!
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Lovely story. Thanks for visiting my blog and following. 🙂
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Very touching and beautiful
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Many thanks
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Welcome :))
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Oh my, what a heart-grabber. Great writing.
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Thank you Ennle
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