At the end of the secure tunnel the gate had been left open.
Jess stood at the other end of the tunnel and tried to judge the distance. A hundred metres?
She edged forward. Glancing up above the walls at the steel fencing, she sensed she was being watched.
A sudden flurry outside – snarling, shrieking and motion. No point in caution now. Jess sprinted along the tunnel, straining to get there before they could get in.
Jess grabbed for the gate just as they reached it on the outside. It was wrenched away from her, but she held on. She had to protect those left inside. If she could just force the latch closed…
Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).
To read more stories based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.
Dynamic opening there… like an old time Saturday serial. Nicely done.
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Many thanks – now just have to figure out what happens next 🙂
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No kidding. Nice cliff hanger.
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Dear Iain,
Intriguing. Glad you were able to get the prompt. Those first few hours this morning were a little dicey without it. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
PS I dare you cut the extra 14 words.
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You had us all poised over our keyboards – can I keep the extra 14 words because I was waiting longer for the prompt… please… 😉
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Oh, all right. If you’re going to whine about it. 😉 I’ll give you that. After all…
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It actually works not bad if you just lose the last 14 words
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Very true, although I wanted to keep the idea that she was doing this to protect others. Will try harder for next week (hangs head in shame).
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In that case lose the first 100
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Perfect for the 14 word story challenge.
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Cool dude, Iain!
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I hope she got the latch locked down without the loss of her fingers. 🙂🙂🙂
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Like a good cliffhanger, thanks Mike
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Ooh, that had a bit of a Hunger Games feel for me – tons of action and threat in every phrase! You took us with you on that one, Iain. Nicely done 🙂
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Ack! Cliffhanger.
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Always leave them wanting more 🙂
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Great job. High tension, fast pace, and surprise ending. At least for me it was a surprise. I figured at the beginning that she wanted “out.” But the revelation at the end was perfect.
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Thanks Sandra, I never thought of it as a surprise ending, but now you say it, it does work that way 🙂
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Not a very secure tunnel if the gate is left open! Great cliffhanger. Thanks for keeping us on the edge of our seats.
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How did the gate get open is the question you should be asking…. Thanks Alicia 🙂
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Oh, I did ask that, too, but didn’t really want to know. “Something wicked this way comes.”
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Exactly 🙂
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Great cliffhanger but a little confusing for me. Why the gate was left open and what she was doing at the other end ? What happened next?
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I leave it to you to imagine why the gate would be open and what happens next, can’t fit it all in to the 100 words!
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I did enjoy this, and I agree with one of the comments above – It seemed just like the opening to a cop show!
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Many thanks 🙂
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Nice! Now why did I think zombies?
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Definitely could be something along those lines – you’re the first comment to mention them. Many thanks 🙂
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I love this take.
At first I thought she was trying to escape, great turns and twists in the tale.
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Many thanks, much appreciated and glad you liked it 🙂
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Great action piece! Wild animals, zombies…? Nice!
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Thanks, unspecified but I had some sort of zombie thing in mind. Glad people are getting that now 🙂
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Nicely done thriller.
But not zombies, please, you are better than that.
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Thanks, I take that as a compliment. I’m entering the Halloween season for this week only, so I’ll leave it as unspecified monsters…
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Maybe it is just me, but I feel that zombies, like vampires, are often a cop-out.
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I think your right, there is also an overload of blogs and writing out there.
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Those darn gates. Someone’s always leaving them unlocked.
Great job building tension and suspense.
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Thanks, this seems like a particularly bad gate to find unlocked – probably some silly mime making off with an invisible box again.
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There have been a surprising number of reported sightings of that wretched invisible box.
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You can’t leave it like that! I really hope she gets the latch shut!
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Thanks Clare, I do like a good cliffhanger to leave you guessing! 🙂
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Oo, brave Jess! Great tension going there — I’m worried for them all!
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Thanks Joy – it’s not looking good for them…
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Oh, this has a great pace and tension. Like Sandra, I thought at first she wanted to escape and think it is a great twist.
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Many thanks 🙂
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I too thought she tried to escape. I love it when you play with my mind. 🙂
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Thank you, I do try and make it interesting. Glad you appreciate my efforts 🙂
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Great sense of tension and fear in that last paragraph. Scary. Great piece
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Thanks Laurie 🙂
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Pardon the pun but great opening with the open gate and so many possibilities in this story.
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Pun pardoned. Thanks for commenting 🙂
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Love the tension you created. My heartbeat increased a tad there!
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Thanks Dale 🙂
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Whoa, action packed! Go Jess, go!
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Thanks Jade 🙂
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i guess zombies guarding the walls are after her. they’re more menacing because they look like donald trump.
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Steady on, I don’t want it to be that scary!
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Good work, high tension indeed and good old fashioned cliff hanger, they still haven’t invented anything to bet it
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Thanks Michael.
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Great action packed opener, well done 🙂
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Thanks Helen
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Wow what wasn’t gated up? I love how you give just a hint of it. I get this Jurassic World feeling, like raptors going to get them if they don’t shut this gate and fast! Great write!
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Dinosaurs, I love that idea 🙂
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Leaving the villain(s) to our imaginations is a good idea…the fear factor can be personalized with our own favorite nightmares. Good cliff hanger.
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Many thanks.
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Exciting!
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I love the action and suspense as she makes for the gate – and the twist at the end was a great surprise. Terrific.
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Thanks Margaret
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Nice job building suspense and creating a sense of dread. You’ve got us all wanting to know what happens next!
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Thanks Dawn – I’ll have to decide what does happen next myself!! 🙂
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You got me holding on to the edge of my seat!
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Thanks, that’s the effect I was going for 🙂
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Very intense! Definitely makes me wonder and sympathize with her, though we don’t know the exact nature of the danger. I like it!
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Thanks Emily 🙂
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