Iain Kelly

Fiction Writing

HUNTED

At the end of the secure tunnel the gate had been left open.

Jess stood at the other end of the tunnel and tried to judge the distance. A hundred metres?

She edged forward. Glancing up above the walls at the steel fencing, she sensed she was being watched.

A sudden flurry outside – snarling, shrieking and motion. No point in caution now. Jess sprinted along the tunnel, straining to get there before they could get in.

Jess grabbed for the gate just as they reached it on the outside. It was wrenched away from her, but she held on. She had to protect those left inside. If she could just force the latch closed…

peter-abbey11
© Peter Abbey

Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).

To read more stories based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

Iain Kelly

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74 responses to “HUNTED”

  1. J Hardy Carroll Avatar
    J Hardy Carroll

    Dynamic opening there… like an old time Saturday serial. Nicely done.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Many thanks – now just have to figure out what happens next 🙂

      Like

      Reply
      1. tedstrutz Avatar
        tedstrutz

        No kidding. Nice cliff hanger.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. rochellewisoff Avatar
    rochellewisoff

    Dear Iain,

    Intriguing. Glad you were able to get the prompt. Those first few hours this morning were a little dicey without it. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    PS I dare you cut the extra 14 words.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      You had us all poised over our keyboards – can I keep the extra 14 words because I was waiting longer for the prompt… please… 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
      1. rochellewisoff Avatar
        rochellewisoff

        Oh, all right. If you’re going to whine about it. 😉 I’ll give you that. After all…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. ceayr Avatar
        ceayr

        It actually works not bad if you just lose the last 14 words

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Iain Kelly Avatar
        Iain Kelly

        Very true, although I wanted to keep the idea that she was doing this to protect others. Will try harder for next week (hangs head in shame).

        Liked by 2 people

      4. ceayr Avatar
        ceayr

        In that case lose the first 100

        Liked by 2 people

      5. Iain Kelly Avatar
        Iain Kelly

        Perfect for the 14 word story challenge.

        Liked by 2 people

      6. ceayr Avatar
        ceayr

        Cool dude, Iain!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Mike Avatar
    Mike

    I hope she got the latch locked down without the loss of her fingers. 🙂🙂🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Like a good cliffhanger, thanks Mike

      Like

      Reply
  4. Lynn Love Avatar
    Lynn Love

    Ooh, that had a bit of a Hunger Games feel for me – tons of action and threat in every phrase! You took us with you on that one, Iain. Nicely done 🙂

    Like

    Reply
  5. James Avatar
    James

    Ack! Cliffhanger.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Always leave them wanting more 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  6. Sandra Conner Avatar
    Sandra Conner

    Great job. High tension, fast pace, and surprise ending. At least for me it was a surprise. I figured at the beginning that she wanted “out.” But the revelation at the end was perfect.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Sandra, I never thought of it as a surprise ending, but now you say it, it does work that way 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  7. aliciajamtaas Avatar
    aliciajamtaas

    Not a very secure tunnel if the gate is left open! Great cliffhanger. Thanks for keeping us on the edge of our seats.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      How did the gate get open is the question you should be asking…. Thanks Alicia 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. aliciajamtaas Avatar
        aliciajamtaas

        Oh, I did ask that, too, but didn’t really want to know. “Something wicked this way comes.”

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Iain Kelly Avatar
        Iain Kelly

        Exactly 🙂

        Like

  8. Indira Avatar
    Indira

    Great cliffhanger but a little confusing for me. Why the gate was left open and what she was doing at the other end ? What happened next?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I leave it to you to imagine why the gate would be open and what happens next, can’t fit it all in to the 100 words!

      Like

      Reply
  9. Grant-Sud Avatar
    Grant-Sud

    I did enjoy this, and I agree with one of the comments above – It seemed just like the opening to a cop show!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Many thanks 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  10. huldermn Avatar
    huldermn

    Nice! Now why did I think zombies?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Definitely could be something along those lines – you’re the first comment to mention them. Many thanks 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  11. creatingahome Avatar
    creatingahome

    I love this take.
    At first I thought she was trying to escape, great turns and twists in the tale.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Many thanks, much appreciated and glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  12. draliman Avatar
    draliman

    Great action piece! Wild animals, zombies…? Nice!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks, unspecified but I had some sort of zombie thing in mind. Glad people are getting that now 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  13. ceayr Avatar
    ceayr

    Nicely done thriller.
    But not zombies, please, you are better than that.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks, I take that as a compliment. I’m entering the Halloween season for this week only, so I’ll leave it as unspecified monsters…

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. ceayr Avatar
        ceayr

        Maybe it is just me, but I feel that zombies, like vampires, are often a cop-out.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Iain Kelly Avatar
        Iain Kelly

        I think your right, there is also an overload of blogs and writing out there.

        Like

  14. rgayer55 Avatar
    rgayer55

    Those darn gates. Someone’s always leaving them unlocked.
    Great job building tension and suspense.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks, this seems like a particularly bad gate to find unlocked – probably some silly mime making off with an invisible box again.

      Like

      Reply
      1. ceayr Avatar
        ceayr

        There have been a surprising number of reported sightings of that wretched invisible box.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Clare Hempstead Avatar
    Clare Hempstead

    You can’t leave it like that! I really hope she gets the latch shut!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Clare, I do like a good cliffhanger to leave you guessing! 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  16. Joy Pixley Avatar
    Joy Pixley

    Oo, brave Jess! Great tension going there — I’m worried for them all!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Joy – it’s not looking good for them…

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  17. gahlearner Avatar
    gahlearner

    Oh, this has a great pace and tension. Like Sandra, I thought at first she wanted to escape and think it is a great twist.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Many thanks 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  18. nonsmokingladybug Avatar
    nonsmokingladybug

    I too thought she tried to escape. I love it when you play with my mind. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you, I do try and make it interesting. Glad you appreciate my efforts 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  19. Laurie Bell Avatar
    Laurie Bell

    Great sense of tension and fear in that last paragraph. Scary. Great piece

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Laurie 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  20. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover Avatar
    Life Lessons of a Dog Lover

    Pardon the pun but great opening with the open gate and so many possibilities in this story.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Pun pardoned. Thanks for commenting 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  21. Dale Avatar
    Dale

    Love the tension you created. My heartbeat increased a tad there!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Dale 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  22. Jade M. Wong Avatar
    Jade M. Wong

    Whoa, action packed! Go Jess, go!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Jade 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  23. plaridel Avatar
    plaridel

    i guess zombies guarding the walls are after her. they’re more menacing because they look like donald trump.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Steady on, I don’t want it to be that scary!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  24. Michael Wynn Avatar
    Michael Wynn

    Good work, high tension indeed and good old fashioned cliff hanger, they still haven’t invented anything to bet it

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Michael.

      Like

      Reply
  25. helenmidgley Avatar
    helenmidgley

    Great action packed opener, well done 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Helen

      Like

      Reply
  26. mandibelle16 Avatar
    mandibelle16

    Wow what wasn’t gated up? I love how you give just a hint of it. I get this Jurassic World feeling, like raptors going to get them if they don’t shut this gate and fast! Great write!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Dinosaurs, I love that idea 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  27. ansumani Avatar
    ansumani

    Leaving the villain(s) to our imaginations is a good idea…the fear factor can be personalized with our own favorite nightmares. Good cliff hanger.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Many thanks.

      Like

      Reply
  28. lingeringvisions by Dawn Avatar
    lingeringvisions by Dawn

    Exciting!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  29. Margaret Avatar
    Margaret

    I love the action and suspense as she makes for the gate – and the twist at the end was a great surprise. Terrific.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Margaret

      Like

      Reply
  30. Dawn Quyle Landau Avatar
    Dawn Quyle Landau

    Nice job building suspense and creating a sense of dread. You’ve got us all wanting to know what happens next!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Dawn – I’ll have to decide what does happen next myself!! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  31. magarisa Avatar
    magarisa

    You got me holding on to the edge of my seat!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks, that’s the effect I was going for 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  32. Emily Livingstone Avatar
    Emily Livingstone

    Very intense! Definitely makes me wonder and sympathize with her, though we don’t know the exact nature of the danger. I like it!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Emily 🙂

      Like

      Reply

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