MARKSMANSHIP

The first one was for the mother-in-law. Ten years of interference and nagging. I felt the anger start to build. I was never good enough for her daughter. Well, now she had what she wanted. Harley was gone. I took a deep breath. I squeezed the trigger. 200 yards away the china tea cup exploded into pieces.

I moved onto the next cup. The best friend. Every time there was an argument Harley would run to her. Then I would get Samantha screaming down the phone at me, or hammering at the door, threatening to show me what a weak man I was. The cup disappeared in a puff of small particles.

The last cup was for Harley herself. She was coming over now to collect the last of her things. She wouldn’t get her precious tea set. Ten years worth of shared existence. Now, nothing. Dammit, I could feel the tears welling up again. I squeezed the trigger. The bullet flew wide. The cup remained untouched. I heard the windscreen shatter, the screech of tyres and then the crunch of metal hitting the wooden fence.


13-dawn-miller-27-august-2017
Copyright Dawn Miller

Written as part of Sunday Photo Fiction. Write a story of around 200 words based on the photo prompt given (above). Hosted by Al Forbes. For more details visit HERE.

To read more stories based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

47 responses to “MARKSMANSHIP”

  1. Brilliant! The resentment is so palpable.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great story. I could really feel the anger – and the one mention of welling tears gives another dimension to the narrator as well.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Glad you picked up on that, I wanted to leave a little sign that he was more than just a horrible husband, that he was a victim too.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Woah! Packs a punch! Great twist at the end

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Sarah, glad you liked it.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Superb. Totally relatable.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Chris – hope you haven’t got a rifle lying about! 🙂

      Like

      1. Tend to favour the bow personally

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Whoops. I think he had better get rid of the gun before questions are asked. Good story Iain.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, maybe he’ll have time to get away before anyone finds the bullet amongst the wreckage!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Divorce proceedings should require automatic anger management counseling. Nicely done.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Good shot!
    And good story, nicely crafted

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Holy crap. That was scary…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Some people just reach breaking point!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I liked your comment–too true–but having been at the receiving end, it’s more like yeah, some people don’t deal well with “No.”

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Oops. He really did get Harley. Welcome to prison.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Unless a good lawyer can argue it was accidental…

      Like

  10. Wow. Great twist at the end.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Wow. Hope they can prove “accidental” death. Great ending.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can see the lawyer planning his defence already.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Iain, not only is this a great read, it’s simply brilliant! I’m in awe.
    Click to visit Keith’s Ramblings

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Keith, too kind.

      Like

  13. O dear, them tears got in the way.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, just something in his eye!

      Like

  14. Simply brilliant. Liked the ‘tears’ component too. Good writing, Kelly.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Third time lucky! His resentment and angst was palpable – very well done 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, glad you liked it.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Proving once again: timing is everything!
    I loved this. The narrator’s emotions are palpable and realistic. The little revenge of her not getting her tea set on the mark. And the the unexpected, but clever ending. I presume the former owner of the tea set was driving.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think it’s safe to say it was her! Thanks Sascha

      Liked by 1 person

  17. I love what you did with this prompt!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Poor guy, but then we are only ‘seeing’ his side. I thought he might be the bad guy until the tears, showing the depth of his pain. Well done. Let’s hope he didn’t shoot her by mistake!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, I included that line to hint at a bit of sympathy for him, glad that came across.

      Liked by 1 person

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