IAIN KELLY

STUMPED

The town hall meeting had turned ugly.

Councillor Lewisham tried vainly to placate the natives. ‘If you could let me explain. There’s prohibitive cost involved as well as environmental regulations.’

‘Rubbish!’

‘The trees are a danger. One more storm and they’ll fall right on my house.’

‘Typical politician, all talk. Regulation this, regulation that.’

‘Why do we vote for idiots like you!’

Lewisham slumped in his chair.

The scream of a chainsaw silenced everyone. All heads turned to the door.

There stood Agnes Smith, wielding the saw, plastic visor over her face, covered in sawdust.

‘Problem solved,’ she said.


stumps
Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

Further adventures of Agnes and her husband Archie can be found here: THE AGNES AND ARCHIE STORIES

114 responses to “STUMPED”

  1. neilmacdon Avatar

    I’m guessing Agnes is going to get her collar felt. A fun story, Iain

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      If there’s anyone brave enough to feel her collar – she’s in the mood to take on all comers…

      Like

  2. rochellewisoff Avatar

    Dear Iain,

    There’s more than one way to break up a logjam I suppose. And they’re stumped no longer. Go Agnes! Good one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Rochelle. Some times decisive action is just what’s called for 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Jane Dougherty Avatar

    Rough justice out there in the wild west of suburbia 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Agnes the cowboy, taking on the sheriff and the townsfolk 🙂

      Like

      1. Jane Dougherty Avatar

        She’d better stay away from my trees!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Iain Kelly Avatar

        There’s no stopping her once her mind’s set on something, but she isn’t after any random trees, just the few that are causing the problem in the story! 🙂

        Like

      3. Jane Dougherty Avatar

        Give some people a chain saw though, and they get a taste for it 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Keith's Ramblings Avatar

    I doubt anyone will dare to have a go at Agnes! Nice one Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I certainly wouldn’t, not if she’s armed with a chainsaw.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Moon Avatar
    Moon

    What a brave lady! 🙂
    Wonderful story, Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Moon 🙂

      Like

  6. thelonelyauthorblog Avatar

    A strong lady. Good write.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      She certainly is. Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. James Avatar

    There’s an older, historic neighborhood in Boise called the North End which has this problem periodically. The area has a lot of old growth trees which are quite beautiful and majestic, but on occasion, they either need to be cut back, or in extreme cases, cut down. Many arguments result.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Impossible to please everyone in these situations.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. The Urban Spaceman Avatar

    Well, that’s one way to silence dissent!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Certainly puts an end to any arguments. Thanks for reading 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. yarnspinnerr Avatar

    A chainsaw is difficult to argue with. Lovely take.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      It does provide a good full stop to an argument 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. pennygadd51 Avatar

    I loved this story!
    You caught the tone of such meetings rather well. The twist at the end was beautifully done. I could feel my head turn towards the door, along with everybody else in the hall, as Agnes entered.
    Super writing, Iain!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Penny, glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Sandra Avatar

    Once they see the way out of a problem, women don’t hang about. Councillor Lewisham should take heed of that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Maybe he should get Agnes onto the council.

      Like

  12. michael1148humphris Avatar
    michael1148humphris

    I thought perhaps she was going for Mr L Lewisham, I preferred your version.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      She’s not a killer – yet at least!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. JS Brand Avatar

    Great story. Is Agnes single?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      She has her ever faithful husband Archie, although he does appear to have stayed away from this particular meeting… 🙂

      Like

      1. JS Brand Avatar

        Oh well. I’ll just have to keep chainsawing on my tod then.

        Liked by 1 person

  14. Dale Avatar
    Dale

    No mucking about for Agnes. Go! Agnes!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      No, a woman who believes in actions rather than words!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dale Avatar
        Dale

        I like her. My kinda gal!

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Susan A Eames Avatar

    Well that was one way to shut them up – but shame about the tree! Enjoyable read, Iain.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Susan 🙂

      Like

  16. jillyfunnell Avatar

    Well, I think we all need an Agnes in our lives. No messing with her!! Lovely vivid writing, Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Jilly – always good to have someone who cuts through the nonsense!

      Like

  17. cynthiamvoss Avatar

    Show ’em how it’s done, Agnes!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      🙂 Thanks Cynthia

      Liked by 1 person

  18. curioushart Avatar
    curioushart

    “It takes a woman, a dainty woman, a sweetheart, a mistress, a wife; oh yes, it takes a woman, a fragile woman, to give you the sweet things in life.”
    Horace Vandergelder

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Interesting quote. Thanks for reading.

      Like

  19. Anna Rymer Avatar

    Ha ha! I love it! What a great woman – that’s such a brilliant that you’ve created there. Nic eone 👍

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Anna Rymer Avatar

      ** brilliant image

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Anna 🙂

      Like

  20. Vivian Zems Avatar

    Sorted! She’s my kinda girl.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Vivian

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Dawn M. Miller Avatar

    Sometimes it is better to ask forgiveness than permission.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Wise words Dawn.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. granonine Avatar

    You go, Agnes!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Oh, don’t encourage her too much – where will she stop!? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  23. anuragbakhshi Avatar

    She cut right through to the heart of the issue 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Lol, absolutely 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Varad Avatar

    Problem solved, indeed. Not easy arguing against a buzzing chainsaw.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Good way to finish an argument 🙂

      Like

  25. draliman Avatar

    Haha, made me smile. Agnes doesn’t sound like she brooks any nonsense!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Definitely not. Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

  26. Lynn Love Avatar

    There is no way I’m tackling an older lady with a grudge and a chainsaw! Nicely written – great, lighthearted tone and a hint of the sinister in Agnes. Well done

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Lynn – she’s always had a hint of the sinister about her! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lynn Love Avatar

        Ha! More than a hint.

        Liked by 1 person

  27. Edith M. Field Avatar

    A great title for a great story! I love the way that the title, in one word, sums up how Councillor Lewisham is utterly confounded by the issue and unable to deal with it effectively. Enter Agnes, chain saw screaming . . . Superb!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Edith, glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Like

  28. rgayer55 Avatar

    I got a little lost in the dialogue (I assume more than one of the townsfolk were speaking?), but the point of the story still came through when Agnes showed up. A fun read.

    My brother once said, “Just looking at a chainsaw makes my back hurt.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      You assumed correctly. Thanks Russell.

      Like

  29. spicedmullings Avatar

    Simple remedy.
    While men stood talking, a woman took action.
    Love it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you 🙂

      Like

  30. J. E. Kennedy Avatar

    I like her style! Cut through all the red tape. Great story. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  31. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) Avatar

    Sometimes a chainsaw solves the problem… and she can also exclaim:
    “Firewood for everyone”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      That’ll get the locals back on her side 🙂

      Like

  32. Clare Hempstead Avatar

    A woman with a purpose! Loved it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Clare 🙂

      Like

  33. Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist Avatar

    The councillor must have been mighty relieved when Agnes entered the building. What a lady. Loved the story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Certainly got him out of a tricky situation. Thanks Irene.

      Liked by 1 person

  34. Sascha Darlington Avatar

    lol. Timber! Way to go, Agnes. I don’t think anyone’s going to tackle her considering the chain saw. Good story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Sascha – I don’t think she’s in the mood for anyone’s arguments 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  35. plaridel Avatar

    sometimes, it takes a woman…. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      More often than not 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  36. Rowena Avatar

    Taking matters into your own hands is a bit of an Australian tradition too. I’m a real tree lover but I’m not going to die for one. I don’t think they’d appreciate Agnes on council. She takes action, rather than paper shuffling and procrastination, which councils are renowned for. That said, she’d have my vote!
    xx Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      That’s the trouble – no place for someone like her in politics 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  37. Jan Vanek Avatar

    I doubt I’d argue too passionately with a chainsaw-wielding woman! Fun story, though I couldn’t help feeling sorry for the innocent-victim tree. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Jan 🙂

      Like

  38. Brenda's Thoughts Avatar

    Sometimes there is simply too much talking, round and round in circles. There are times for an “Agnes” to just get it done. Very nice story! =)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Brenda – I’m sure we can all think of such instances!

      Liked by 1 person

  39. Laurie Bell Avatar

    Well go Agnes!.
    Great story. I like a woman who will get shit done

    Liked by 1 person

  40. Fatima Fakier Avatar

    This story reflects politics and governments today just perfectly. All talk and no action. Sometimes all it takes is a simple solution like a woman with a chainsaw and five minutes. Funny take on the prompt, Iain!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Fatima 🙂

      Like

  41. Journeys Through Pre-World War 3 Britain Avatar

    I’d like to see Agnes’ story continued, although her tree-felling urges are a little extreme, haha. Fun story. Nice and brief characterisations.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you so much – I’m sure she will be back, she’s been a recurring character for a while now on my blog 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  42. patrickprinsloo Avatar

    Solved indeed. I shall visit that couple again, no doubt.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Patrick

      Like

  43. liz young Avatar

    So once again the politician wins. Eergh!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I’m not sure there is a winner. The tree is definitely the loser…

      Like

  44. Jelli Avatar
    Jelli

    Haha! Way to go, Agnes!

    Liked by 1 person

  45. Dan Bohn Avatar

    A woman of action,,,,, love it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
  46. amiewrites74 Avatar

    Less talk and more action… Agnes is a women after my own heart!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Amie, glad you are a fan 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  47. ahtdoucette Avatar

    LOL yeah. We all need an Agnes sometimes

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Perhaps we could do with more of them 🙂 Thanks Anne.

      Like

  48. magarisa Avatar

    Leave it to Agnes to be practical. I wonder if she’ll get a slap on the wrist for cutting down the trees without official permission. The tone of the meeting is so true to life!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      She may get a warning, I’m not sure she will pay it much mind! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  49. Susie Clevenger (@wingsobutterfly) Avatar

    Well, diplomacy doesn’t stand a chainsaw chance in the final cut. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      It’s the best kind of diplomacy sometimes 🙂

      Like

  50. subroto Avatar

    Chainsaw diplomacy at its best here.

    Liked by 1 person

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