IAIN KELLY

THE ELEPHANT’S ARSE

‘This, ladies and gentlemen, is the new exhibit I am most proud of.’

The group of dignitaries, sponsors and critics gathered round, those at the back craning their necks to get a clearer view.

Hans Schiedt was extremely proud of the natural life museum he had been brought in to reinvigorate.

The old building had been cleaned and varnished, the marble floors gleamed once more. Ancient exhibits that had been sterile and dust-covered now shone in new displays.

The key though was to make everything more interactive. ‘We have to attract families, children. Make it a fun experience to visit the museum,’ the board of directors had told him.

The invited group of guests had been wowed by the holographs, virtual reality experiences and the artificial intelligence guides. And now, his favourite renovation, one that he was sure all children would enjoy.

‘A working exhibit.’ He lifted the elephant’s tail,’the tail acts as a hand pump, the more you pump it, the better the results.’

The audience jumped backwards as the thick, brown substance plopped onto the floor.

‘It even has the scientifically correct scent,’ Hans beamed.


ayr6
Copyright CE Ayr

Written as part of Sunday Photo Fiction. Write a story of around 200 words based on the photo prompt given (above). Hosted by Susan Spaulding. For more details visitĀ HERE.

To read more of the stories based on this week’s prompt, visitĀ HERE.

53 responses to “THE ELEPHANT’S ARSE”

  1. RUCHI NASA Avatar

    Hilarious! Couldn’t stop laughing at the handpump phenomenon

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Ruchi, glad you liked it šŸ™‚

      Like

  2. Kelley Farrell Avatar
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Kelley šŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  3. angietrafford Avatar

    Thank you for the laughter šŸ™‚ I needed that!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Angie, glad it gave you a laugh šŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  4. kasturi Avatar

    Hahaha, Iain you never fail to charm your readers !! Absolutely hilarious 😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you šŸ˜‰

      Like

  5. Emily Bloomquist Avatar

    Ha! What an exhibit!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Come on, you would want to have a go – who could resist? šŸ™‚

      Like

  6. James Avatar

    I remember seeing an elephant urinate at a zoo many years ago. Buckets and buckets and buckets without end.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      It’s important for museums to be educational šŸ™‚

      Like

  7. Jennie Avatar

    So funny!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Glad you got a laugh Jennie šŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Jennie Avatar

        šŸ˜…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Iain Kelly Avatar
  8. Annie Avatar

    A ā€˜light’ one for a Sunday! I enjoyed reading it, put a grin on my face. 😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Annie, happy to give you a smile šŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Susan Avatar

    Not a museum I want to visit, but I am sure my son would have a great time. Thanks for the Sunday morning laugh.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      You’re welcome Susan – come on, you would want to give it a try really, wouldn’t you?! šŸ™‚

      Like

  10. Liz H Avatar

    (Substitute twitchy world leader–will leave to you to supply which country–for elephant, and you’re right there).
    I laugh, while I cry a li’l… šŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Liz šŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  11. scr4pl80 Avatar

    I can just see a group of little boys on a field trip having a laughing attack. Pity the teachers on the way home from that one!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I would be entertained for hours šŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  12. thebookwormdrinketh Avatar

    Ha ha ha!!!! “a working exhibit” šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Interactivity at it’s best šŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Keith's Ramblings Avatar

    Iain that’s absolutely brilliant! Thanks for making me choke on my G&T

    Click to read my SunPhoFic!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      You’re welcome Keith šŸ™‚

      Like

  14. violaetcetera Avatar
    violaetcetera

    Made me laugh, too!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Viola, I am pleased šŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  15. EagleAye Avatar

    Ha! What a clever idea. I just hope no one examines the tail too closely.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Getting someone to lean in too close adds to the fun šŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  16. writingdreamwords Avatar

    really funny :)) I might give that exhibit a miss though

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Come on, join in the fun! šŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. writingdreamwords Avatar

        Haha. Sure, after you!

        Liked by 1 person

  17. Sarah Ann Avatar
    Sarah Ann

    I can see that the kids are gonna love that exhibit! šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Come on, adults too šŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  18. HesterLeyNel Avatar

    Whaha, I certainly did not expect that reality show ending.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Oh yeah, great television šŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  19. ceayr Avatar

    Sadly that was not one of the renovations at Kelvingrove!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      They have missed a trick.

      Like

  20. athling2001 Avatar

    I didn’t see that coming! How funny! Yes, the children will love that as much as the parents hate it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you šŸ™‚

      Like

  21. Liz A. Avatar
    Liz A.

    LOL. Yeah, the kiddos will *love* that…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Way too much.

      Like

  22. Michael Avatar
    Michael

    Do they sell the end produce?, my virtual gardens needs fertiliser !

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      A nice, fruitful sideline!

      Like

  23. Frances D Avatar

    This is just GREAT!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Frances, interactivity is the key to learning!

      Like

  24. Donna B. McNicol Avatar

    You and Keith get my vote for the two funniest and imaginative posts for this prompt. LOL!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Donna, always difficult to match Keith for funny posts!

      Like

  25. mandibelle16 Avatar
    mandibelle16

    Lol. This is definantly I guys story lol. But very funny. Why one would want to see this, I do t know, I would be quite disgusted. I know it comes with live elephants, but I’d rather be with or near a live elephant who did this, than one who is stuffed, the taxidermy part makes me sad.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I know my son would love it – he’s 4, equally, I would enjoy laughing at him enjoying it šŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

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