IAIN KELLY

ROXY

The Encore, Downtown Vegas.

Glitz and glamour away from the gaudy Strip and the drug-riddled suburb slums.

The waitresses. All young, slim, white. Wearing just enough.

There’s Roxy. Wearing just enough to conceal the mic.

All the big guns will be there: Sam G., Carlos, Big Joe.

He’s trusted enough to organise the AGM.

He’s not trusted enough to be in the room.

Wise Guys. They’re right. He’s undercover Federal.

Three years under. The strain is breaking him. He needs results to take back to J. Edgar.

He needs Roxy in the room.

He needs to put his love in harm’s way.

dinner-table-prior
Copyright Priorhouse

Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

115 responses to “ROXY”

  1. pensitivity101 Avatar
    pensitivity101

    Will there be more Iain?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      That’s always the question I ask with these short snippets!

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
  2. neilmacdon Avatar
    neilmacdon

    Great tension in the clipped sentences

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Neil.

      Like

      Reply
  3. Sandra Avatar
    Sandra

    Loved this. I felt the tension, the apprehension. Good one.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you so much Sandra, much appreciated.

      Like

      Reply
  4. Joe Owens Avatar
    Joe Owens

    Trouble coming, hold on tight!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      It’s not going to end well somewhere along the line.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  5. rochellewisoff Avatar
    rochellewisoff

    Dear Iain,

    Atmospheric and tense. I could picture the men in suits and fedoras. Wonderfully clipped construction..

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you so much Rochelle 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  6. ceayr Avatar
    ceayr

    Excellent.
    And cool style.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks CE. Reading James Ellroy at the moment, the style is rubbing off, though he is undoubtedly the master of it.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  7. J Hardy Carroll Avatar
    J Hardy Carroll

    The tension of the wire. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks.

      Like

      Reply
  8. Anita Avatar
    Anita

    Undercover agent and secret AGM. Thrilling plot.
    Latte Lesson – Anita

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Anita

      Like

      Reply
  9. James Pyles Avatar
    James Pyles

    She’s tough. She can handle it.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I get that impression too, she’s holding it together more than he is.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  10. Reena Saxena Avatar
    Reena Saxena

    Sounds like a Catch 22 situation…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Certainly, he’s in a difficult spot.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  11. Dale Avatar
    Dale

    I loved this Iain. The short sentences really up the tension..
    And, I’m going crazy because now I have the song “Roxy” from Chicago in my head…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Apologies for the earworm Dale! Glad you liked the story 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Dale Avatar
        Dale

        Dang! It’s back! 😉 Just kidding.
        Yes, I did indeed.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Hélène Vaillant Avatar
    Hélène Vaillant

    Oh how entertaining this is, had me holding on with tension. Excellent form.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you so much 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  13. trentpmcd Avatar
    trentpmcd

    You created a great atmosphere.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Trent

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  14. pennygadd51 Avatar
    pennygadd51

    Terse, taut writing that says all we need, and implies a whole lot more. Good work!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you so much Penny

      Like

      Reply
  15. granonine Avatar
    granonine

    Poor Roxy. You created the tension perfectly. I hope Roxy doesn’t become the sacrificial lamb.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      There’s always the chance it’ll all work out well…

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
  16. Prior... Avatar
    Prior…

    I also like the tension and the timepiece here – nice history connecting to the J Edgar time

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  17. michael1148humphris Avatar
    michael1148humphris

    I enjoyed your vision of the pressure that being undercover creates,

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Michael

      Like

      Reply
  18. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) Avatar
    Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    I think some wise guys will not be bit less wise in a while… but it’s tax evasion you should get from them

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Surely they must be wise to that old trick by now! Thanks Bjorn

      Like

      Reply
  19. Alice Audrey Avatar
    Alice Audrey

    Undercover romance? Such is the trauma of the double lifel

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Alice

      Like

      Reply
  20. theministryofshrawleywalks Avatar
    theministryofshrawleywalks

    Scary, he’s feeling the strain of it all now, he’s probably more relaxed around the wise guys, a drink and he might let it slip.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I bet alcohol and drugs have given away a few secrets in the past!!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. theministryofshrawleywalks Avatar
        theministryofshrawleywalks

        I think you’re absolutely correct in your assumptions!

        Like

  21. 4963andypop Avatar
    4963andypop

    I like the double meaning of the Wise Guys line, Very mobster vibe. Sounds like you did your research.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you so much

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  22. Sascha Darlington Avatar
    Sascha Darlington

    oooo. Well done. The tone definitely sounds tough guy. The only exception is “love” in the last line. And, yes, love the “Wise Guys” line!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Sascha – even tough guys have to love something, or someone 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  23. Abhijit Ray Avatar
    Abhijit Ray

    Roxy taking big risk. Endangering life. All to please Edgar. Is this the FBI boss?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Yes, that’s the one.

      Like

      Reply
  24. Russell Avatar
    Russell

    Roxy might need to find her a new man!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      If she gets out of this alive first 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  25. Fiction Circular 9/26/18 – Logos

    […] From Iain Kelly, ROXY. […]

    Like

    Reply
  26. anuragbakhshi Avatar
    anuragbakhshi

    The second tension-filled story about the Mafia in a row. Now marry the two together 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I have been reading a lot of mafia-based fiction recently – it is rubbing off!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  27. draliman Avatar
    draliman

    Without anything actually “going down” you’ve managed to convey a great sense of tension and stress. Nice one!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  28. Keith's Ramblings Avatar
    Keith’s Ramblings

    Skillfully written Iain. The staccato style really racks up the tension.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Keith

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  29. Bettina Avatar
    Bettina

    I honestly felt I was there, great characters Iain

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you so much 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  30. Piyali Avatar
    Piyali

    I can tell something’s bad gonna happen. Great build-up tension.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  31. James McEwan Avatar
    James McEwan

    You just can’t trust anyone, A good piece of suspense.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks James

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  32. Rachel Bjerke Avatar
    Rachel Bjerke

    I think the suspense is killing us all!
    Great story, Iain! I’d love to know how Roxy does 🙂

    -Rachel

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Rachel, perhaps I need to write a sequel! 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  33. Rowena Avatar
    Rowena

    Great suspense and tension here, Iain in an intriguing location. I wonder if what happens in Vegas is going to stay in Vegas this time.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      That is the rule, so I’ve heard!

      Like

      Reply
  34. liz young Avatar
    liz young

    That last line is a clincher. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Liz

      Like

      Reply
  35. plaridel Avatar
    plaridel

    looks like a scene from a movie. very cool.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  36. Laurie Bell Avatar
    Laurie Bell

    Fabulous! Very tight scene. Well done. Poor Roxy. Sounds like she’s very good at what she does

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Laurie

      Like

      Reply
  37. Vivian Zems Avatar
    Vivian Zems

    Intriguing!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Vivian

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Vivian Zems Avatar
        Vivian Zems

        🙂

        Like

  38. StuHN Avatar
    StuHN

    Just hope it’s not Capone with his baseball bat. Run, Roxy, Run.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      All bats must be left outside 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  39. subroto Avatar
    subroto

    Great build up of the tension. A lot happening undercover in more ways than one.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you

      Like

      Reply
  40. Anshu Bhojnagarwala Avatar
    Anshu Bhojnagarwala

    Ooh, hope he gets the desired results from putting his love in harm’s way. Are you going to build up this story, it sure sounds promising!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Anshu, we shall see!

      Like

      Reply
  41. znjavid Avatar
    znjavid

    The way you arranged the writing it almost seems like the lyrics to a song!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you, glad you liked the style.

      Like

      Reply
  42. Sarah Ann Avatar
    Sarah Ann

    Great tension and explanation through those tight sentences and the slow reveal. He will never forgive himself if Roxy comes to harm.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you. He would not be able to live with himself.

      Like

      Reply
  43. jillyfunnell Avatar
    jillyfunnell

    Great choice of the name Roxy and the economical style of writing. I have an idea Roxy will be able to take care of herself.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Jilly. I agree, I think she is a tough character.

      Like

      Reply
  44. Ellie Scott Avatar
    Ellie Scott

    Oh this is the opening to a gripping movie, for sure. So much tension!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Ellie 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  45. Snow's Fissures and Fractures Avatar
    Snow’s Fissures and Fractures

    That was nice, there is a tension, but somehow everything is smooth and easy. Really good story.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you so much 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  46. elappleby Avatar
    elappleby

    Poor Roxy! She’s in deep.
    I found this really interesting – the stacatto sentences each on their own line and the repetitions. Just hope Roxy makes it out alive.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you, glad you appreciated the style I was going for 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  47. Brenda's Thoughts Avatar
    Brenda’s Thoughts

    I enjoyed the rhythm of the story and the tension you created. Poor Roxy and the undercover FBI guy. I imagine all is not going to turn out alright in the end.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Someone always gets hurt in these sort of stories!

      Like

      Reply
  48. Alicia Jamtaas Avatar
    Alicia Jamtaas

    I like the repetition of just enough. At first, I imagined the girls wearing just enough to cover body-parts then you threw in the wire. Nicely done in clipped by expressive sentences.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Alicia 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  49. JoHawkTheWriter Avatar
    JoHawkTheWriter

    Ah, the good ole days with dames and shady deals and machine gun endings. I have a feeling Roxy is no dumb blonde. Great story Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      You are correct 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  50. lisarey1990 Avatar
    lisarey1990

    There is great tension & suspense here. I also quite liked the way the characters are named. That was a very realistic touch.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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