‘Run through the checklist.’
‘Okay. The ceremony must take place in a grand altar.’
They look round the baroque dome and nod at each other.
‘Check.’
‘Six golden urns placed in a circle atop six poles.’
‘Check.’
‘Attire of purple cloaks to worship royalty and their wealth.’
They look sheepishly at the garish cloaks they wear.
‘Check.’
‘A dais with a plain altar in the centre.’
‘Check.’
‘Ropes and/or chains suitable for restraints.’
‘Check.’
‘Daggers.’
‘Check.’
‘I think that’s everything.
Pause. He turns the paper over.
‘Hold on, there’s something on the back here. A naked, voluptuous virgin with flowing golden locks.’
‘Ah…’
Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).
To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.
That made me smile
LikeLiked by 2 people
Then I call that a success.
LikeLike
I almost expected “and their heads turned to Sally, the golden retreiver”
LikeLiked by 4 people
Well, maybe they will resort to that, but is Sally a virgin?! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
the golden retriever ‘pup’?
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉
LikeLike
Sinister, with fatal instincts!
LikeLiked by 1 person
And incompetence! Thanks Reena
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha! Fantastic.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Jennifer 🙂
LikeLike
There is something foreboding about this story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Foreboding, yet also farcical, perhaps?
LikeLike
Funny Iain. Some people are in such a hurry, they don’t read the whole thing first!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Always read the instructions (I never do!)
LikeLike
or the small print. I wonder how many people in years to come will not understand the significance of PTO!
LikeLiked by 1 person
What about the brunette? More chance of a virgin?
Well done.
Best wishes,
Rowena
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha! Well, I wouldn’t like to make that assumption! 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thought I’d stir the pot a bit.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Laughing. Flipping Sheila, get yourself under control, woman, and stop trashing all the other ladies!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ah…the virgin. Good luck, O Evil Harvesters Cult. This made me laugh, thanks Iain. It’s a good thing they made their lists. So many places (looking at you, NYC DOE) would work so much better if they checked off the appropriate boxes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I live by lists. Glad you liked it Stu
LikeLike
Good to have a checklist. Wouldn’t want to go to all that trouble and not have it work. Well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks
LikeLiked by 1 person
If they needed a recipe for their program, it sounds like maybe THEY were the “virgins” 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ha, definitely ‘beginners’! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha – always remember to turn over the page! Duh. Nice one, Iain.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sound advice. Thanks Susan 🙂
LikeLike
Personally I would have skipped the chains and daggers and gone straight for the blonde, but what do I know…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Certainly the sacrifice would’ve been more fun if only the daggers were missing, not the virgin.
LikeLike
Don’t you just hate it when the most important thing on the list is in the P.T.O. section and gets over looked!? 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Especially when they’ve gone to such an effort to get everything just right! 🙂
LikeLike
Indeed 😁😀💜
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m not sure whether it depicts something real, a play , or what?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Is there a difference between a play and a religious ceremony, or are they both filled with actors on stage?
LikeLiked by 1 person
They have certain things in common
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh those last minute details….lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep, always one detail that gets missed!
LikeLike
Details, details, details. Wonder if they will find an appropriate virgin in time for the ceremony Nicely done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s an awkward question to ask a passer by with blonde hair! 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, I see the problem. Most successful human sacrifice ritual party planners don’t ask. 😈
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha, now that would be an interesting career!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, the best-laid plans often fail. (At least in my world.) Thanks for the smile.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re very welcome 🙂
LikeLike
That did crack a smile from me… All that checking and then… of COURSE it has to be a virginal blonde…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad it gave you a smile Dale 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
That you did, Iain!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Filename: Sacrifice, Checklist For The Use Of During needs a retype and reissue. PS As very possibly the most hair-obsessed among the FFs, does said virgin have to be a natural blonde? 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll have to check, I think it’s preferred but not essential if said virgin is desperate to be involved 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
i wonder who could she be? curious mind wants to know. i hope it’s just a stage play, though . 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Do you know of any volunteers? 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sheesh! This is the last time I am letting the work experience guys organise a human sacrifice.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, if you want a job doing properly…
LikeLike
Dear Iain,
Sometimes the most careful planning can go awry. LOL
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Rochelle
LikeLike
Great story. I love the checklist.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much
LikeLike
why do they always need a virgin!? This was a lot of fun, Iain.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Varad
LikeLike
Ha, I don’t think this bunch are going to have much luck getting one of those. Reminds me of that awful moment in the exam where you’ve been relaxing for 20 minutes thinking you’re finished, then you turn the paper over…
LikeLiked by 2 people
I think they may have to reschedule. Maybe put an advert in the paper…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Only a minor ‘ingredient’ seems to be left now 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Are they easy to track down? 😉
LikeLike
Oh, some religious ritual scene you’ve created there! Sinister!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you
LikeLiked by 1 person
The ecclesiastical turned satanic 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Although having a few issues with it 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is the detail that matters: now where are they going to get a virgin with golden locks?
LikeLiked by 1 person
There’s usually a few hanging around a cathedral late at night, just in case. Right?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thats a good chuckle. Our best hope against the success of kooks lies in their own incompetence.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I couldn’t agree more! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great reveal, Iain!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Liz
LikeLike
I can picture the bumbling group of worshippers going through the checklist, then gawking at each other when discovering the key ingredient on the back of the page. Very amusing! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Brenda, glad you enjoyed 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Teehee! Voluptuous, blonde and a virgin? They’re not asking for much, are they?
LikeLiked by 1 person
These rituals are very demanding 🙂
LikeLike
Hahaha voluptuous, blonde virgins are definitely harder to come by. Great story man, I really dug the lighthearted feel to something that if you think about it is pretty damn dark haha.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, just what I hoped the reader would feel 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol pair of geniuses here. Funny piece this week
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Laurie
LikeLike
the story had to end like that
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you
LikeLike
Checkmate! Nicely done Iain
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Keith
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hold on a minute. I’ll run down to Vigin Outlet and pick one up. If we can get a brunette for half price, will that be okay?
LikeLiked by 1 person
It does specify blonde, and we don’t want to upset the Gods…
LikeLiked by 1 person
No, it doesn’t pay to irritate the Gods. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahahaha! XD
Ooo boy..another funny bomb from you!
Nice! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, glad you liked it 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great ending!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Lisa 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just one more thing! Isn’t that always the case.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Always the essential thing too!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think it’s dawning on what the ceremony is all about…
LikeLiked by 1 person
And they don’t seem prepared at all…
LikeLike
I’m guessing the ceremony will be postponed for quite some time, as voluptuous virgins with golden locks are harder to find than a needle in a haystack. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Certainly for these two I suspect!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Will they be too late to find a voluptuous blonde virgin??
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think they maybe out of luck.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’d like to see how they fulfil that requirement. Probably end up with red cheeks from all the slapping. Nice one, Iain.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It will be a challenge, I’m not sure they are up to it!
LikeLike
Got a snicker out of me 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂 Pleased it raised a smile Dawn
LikeLiked by 1 person