HER FIRST TIME

She thought the first time would have been an epiphany, a glimpse at paradise.

Instead, here she was underneath the overpass, among squalid dirt and mud.

The climactic moment had come with a rush of adrenaline, but it was over too quickly.

Her breathing returned to normal, she fixed her rucked top and smoothed her hem down.

Her clothes were impractical, what had she been thinking wearing heels and a short skirt?

She hefted another rock and threw it on top of the body bag. He sank further into the water.

Maybe her next murder would be more enjoyable.


under-bridge
Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.


My new novel, ‘A Justified State,’ is now available on Amazon in Paperback and on Amazon Kindle.TAGLINE

download‘The plot was brilliant, with characters that grabbed your attention, and incredible detail in every scene. A page turner, exciting, and emotional’ – Reader review.
Amazon.com / Amazon.co.uk

109 responses to “HER FIRST TIME”

  1. Well done, completely different from what I was expecting…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good, then it worked 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hehe very clever and unexpected! – Love the cover of A Justified State btw – best of luck with it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Louise – not a patch on your exciting news, but I’m pleased with the cover and the story, even if only a small number give it a read!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Everything should be celebrated Iain. The blood, sweat & tears getting there is exactly the same, however we publish.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Sounds a grim start to a life of crime

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It can only get better!

      Like

  4. Masterful redirection! Congratulations on the publication of A Justified State. Hope the sales are going well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Clare, glad you enjoyed it. Sales are slow but steady so far. If you do have time, do check it out! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I will do, Iain. I’ve just finished what I was reading, so need something new!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Perfect timing, let me know what you think if you give it a go!

          Like

      2. Just downloaded it! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Fantastic, thank you so much ♥

          Liked by 1 person

          1. My pleasure! I will let you know what I think and will leave a review. Anything to help a fellow Friday Fictioneer!

            Liked by 1 person

            1. So kind. I am finding the self promotion just as difficult and time consuming as writing the novel in the first place – and not really as enjoyable!, so every little helps and I’m very grateful to all those who give a bit of their time 🙂

              Like

              1. It’s difficult getting the exposure needed to create the sales.

                Liked by 1 person

                1. Which is why every little helps and every sale makes a huge difference – if only to keep the motivation up! Hope you enjoy it and I look forward to hearing what you think 🙂

                  Liked by 1 person

  5. Yikes! I wasn’t expecting that. Deliciously grisly story, Iain.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ah..lovely dark piece! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Excellent piece of misdirection! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Sandra, always pleasing to manage a surprise.

      Like

  8. Dear Iain,

    I guess there’s a first time for everything. But eeeeew. Well written. Great twist at the end.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Rochelle – we all have to start somewhere!

      Like

  9. Ha ha. If she doesn’t do a better job hiding the body, there won’t be a next time 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. She’s still learning 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Great suspense. I knew it wasn’t rock ‘n’ roll she was doing but did think maybe sex or drugs. I think I have heard or read that the first killing is the hardest, though she seems fairly cool-headed as it is. Good story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Everything just takes practice until you get it right! Thanks Jilly 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  11. You always put that twist at the end! Well done! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Courtney 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  12. That too a rather, unexpected turn. Great story, Iain! For some reason, this reminded me of Dexter.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I imagine it is how he started out 🙂

      Like

  13. I thought I was getting used to your twisted endings and yet you surprised me again!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Always good to know I can still keep you guessing 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Just downloaded your book. Looking forward to reading it!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Fantastic Janet, thank you so much. I hope I haven’t let you down! Do let me know what you think of it or leave a short review on Amazon and really hope you enjoy reading it ♥ 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

  14. Again. You did it again. Lovely misdirection. Great start to a career in crime.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Neel

      Like

  15. He really shouldn’t have pushed her. Now it looks like she is on a mission to take care of everyone like him. Nice job

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh yes, he was only the first…

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Not what I was thinking at all. I thought she doing drugs. Very chilling and very well written, as usual. I read the first eight pages of your book on Amazon. Very captivating. A page turner, for sure. I can see this being made into a movie. You stand among political thriller greats as such Robert Ludlum, John La Carre, Tom Clancy and Frederick Forsyth. Congratulations on your book. I have no doubt that it will be a success.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, very kind words and so lovely to hear. I do hope you get the chance to read more of it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, Iain. I hope so too.

        Liked by 1 person

  17. Very skilful misdirection Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Ouch… it’s always the wet part of a murder that takes down the joy. 🙂 you really fooled me what she had been doing…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You don’t appear to be the only one fooled Bjorn 😉

      Like

  19. Ah, Iain, you do like to hint at naughtiness then give us pure badness instead.
    Cleverly done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you CE – naughty, bad, everyone’s a winner!

      Like

  20. I wasnt sure you’d be able to keep a pg rating on this one, Iain but when it became clear it was violence and not sex, well, we all know our standards tend to be much lower. 😊nice surprise at the end and i thought of a subtitlefor you: Overdressed for murder! (Of course im sure someones already written that one!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha, yes I managed to keep my writing PG, only the reader’s mind makes it adult-only!! Nice subtitle 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  21. It’s not exactly the predictable first time I was expecting, though even a murderer has to start somewhere.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. you never fail to amaze. one of your best. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, too kind 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Person with some dark thought. Getting an epiphany moment after killing someone!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s a good time to have an epiphany

      Like

  24. Great story – great shock ending.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Excellent misdirect, Iain! This was great! What was she thinking… skirt and heels… silly murderess

    Liked by 1 person

    1. She’ll learn 😉 Thanks Dale.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Of course. One learns best from one’s mistakes… 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  26. Ha! There’s so much anticipation over your first time, the reality’s often a bit of a let down. I’m glad it hasn’t put her off trying again, though, and maybe next time in some sort of ninja outfit.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s like her origin story, with each success she will adapt and add a new weapon or piece of uniform 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  27. Wellie boots and jeans next time – practice makes perfect!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good tip Keith, I’ll pass it on 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  28. I take it that she raped him, then killed him. These women murderers can be so devious.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hadn’t really had in mind exactly how she had done it, but devious, absolutely!

      Like

  29. Oh my goodness, awesome twist. I’d lose the heels for sure!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Brenda. They’re just not practical are they? But sometimes you do want to look your best while at work 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  30. Great last line. You really shouldn’t wear heels to a body disposing. If she’s going to make a career of it, she’ll have to learn these things fast. P.S. Book was great. Intending to post review by the weekend

    Liked by 1 person

    1. She’s a quick learner 😉 . Really glad to hear you liked the book Michael, look forward to reading your review! Hope all is proceeding well with your own launch.

      Like

  31. Ooooo gosh clever twist. Indeed heels are totally impracticable

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Trainers next time 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  32. Hmmm.. if she didn’t enjoy it, what motivates her?
    Very intriguing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Dawn, she’ll give it another go and see if she gets a kick out of it next time!

      Liked by 1 person

  33. Such a clever twist – you turned the reader’s expectations upside down – victim to perpetrator so deftly. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Oh wow, I loved it man. Makes you think, how many of the worst things that people have ever done were just chasing a fleeting high?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good question, I would guess quite a lot! Thanks Jacob.

      Liked by 1 person

  35. Oops that was quite a twist Iain! And congratulations on your new book, i am sure it will do very well 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Dahlia – do give it a read if you get the chance and let me know what you think!

      Liked by 1 person

  36. Dressed to kill – so to speak. It is not often we get a serial murderer in a mini skirt and heels. I expect that is her bait.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It may well have played a part…

      Liked by 1 person

  37. A clever twist and a macabre finish. Excellent.

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Well done, Lain. That title was a real red herring. It wasn’t until the rock and the body bag that I knew you weren’t talking about what I was thinking about 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Funny, it appears everyone’s mind seems to work in a very similar way when reading this story! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Isn’t that what you intended ? You did a masterful job of convincing us. . .

        Liked by 1 person

  39. Brilliant twist and perfectly executed – one of my favourites this week.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. PS ‘executed’ wasn’t supposed to be a pun, but let’s both pretend it was 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Thank you, very kind 🙂

      Like

  40. Interesting take on her first time, i thought it was something else which shows how my mind works!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You and a few others it seems 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  41. The twist in the tale was unexpected.

    Like

  42. Surprise ending! What was her motive though?

    Liked by 1 person

  43. Drugs? Sex? No. Murder. And “Her First Time”, with plans for more.Good writing and great twist. Very clever with so few words. Masterful

    gramswisewords.blogspot.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much 🙂

      Like

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