Iain Kelly

Fiction Writing

ESTABLISHED PROCEDURE

Up at seven on the dot. Hop into the shower, towel dry, throw on my uniform.

Pop a slice of bread in the toaster, spoon on some jam (no clean knives again!), browse the morning headlines.

Bag packed, ready to leave at eight on the button.

Door opens, out I go, along the corridor and into my usual seat. Textbook out – algebra again today.

Mrs. Davis walks past, hands me my pill.

The voices stir, interrupting me. That constant buzzing. I can feel that anger rising.

Don’t listen to them. Stick to my routine and it will all be okay. Smile.

jhc-asylum
Copyright J Hardy Carroll

Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

Iain Kelly

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103 responses to “ESTABLISHED PROCEDURE”

  1. neilmacdon Avatar
    neilmacdon

    Great voice, Iain. The careful and systematic routine

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Neil

      Like

      Reply
  2. kislaya Avatar
    kislaya

    Reading these lines – I feel, I am also living the same routine – as it is so vivid.
    I agree with Neil, it sure is a careful and systematic routine!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Kislaya. I hope you can break from your routine sometime 🙂

      Like

      Reply
      1. kislaya Avatar
        kislaya

        That is very important…for happy survival!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. rochellewisoff Avatar
    rochellewisoff

    Dear Iain,

    The pill intrigues me. Could this be Ritalin or some other drug to keep the student in line? The regimen sets the tone. Very well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Rochelle

      Like

      Reply
    2. Nova Avatar
      Nova

      And consistency with the mystery, the teacher slips the pill to him. That seems to fit the Era of decades ago, when ” Medicate” every child for no reason, began.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  4. Danny James Avatar
    Danny James

    Without that pill, what might happen?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Best not to find out perhaps.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  5. Susan A Eames Avatar
    Susan A Eames

    Loved this! Great voice and so thought provoking (and interesting how many stories this week feature the unhinged)!

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Susan. Something about that building must be suggesting it to us!

      Like

      Reply
  6. pennygadd51 Avatar
    pennygadd51

    You’ve portrayed a grim scene of enforced conformity. To make it even more chilling, your narrator seems to believe that this is a good thing.
    If he is suffering from a mental illness, this may be true, but it’s still a terrifying vision.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Penny, I’m glad you saw the terror in it

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  7. J Hardy Carroll Avatar
    J Hardy Carroll

    Excellent window into the eternal life of “managed care.” I like how you show this.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you J Hardy

      Like

      Reply
  8. Gisselle Hernandez Avatar
    Gisselle Hernandez

    It made me sympathize with him, and what the pill keeps at bay – whether good or bad. But if it is mental illness sometimes routine is the only thing that helps.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Absolutely, but that in itself can be a prison. Thanks Gisselle

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  9. k rawson Avatar
    k rawson

    Sinister tale Iain. For me, it works in a lot of ways: as dystopia, as madness, or just as someone struggling with conformity.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Perhaps a combination of all 3. Thank you 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  10. ceayr Avatar
    ceayr

    Grim stuff, Iain, well portrayed

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you CE

      Like

      Reply
  11. joyroses13 Avatar
    joyroses13

    Intriguing, there is a sense of knowing what you are conveying but a sense of mystery too. And the answer to the mystery is ?? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I leave that for you to decide – I have my own theories 😉

      Like

      Reply
      1. joyroses13 Avatar
        joyroses13

        LOL!
        Who knows maybe this guy’s story could be continued in a book?? 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Sandra Avatar
    Sandra

    It feels as though he’s teetering precariously on the edge of control… it’s not looking good

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      It is not indeed. Thanks Sandra

      Like

      Reply
  13. Keith's Ramblings Avatar
    Keith’s Ramblings

    I guess it would take but a small change to the routine to send him wildly off course. Nice one Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      And then I would dread to see what happened. Thanks Keith

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  14. pensitivity101 Avatar
    pensitivity101

    Ah, the voices and buzzing kept at bay by medication but still trying to make their presence felt. Chilling in its reality Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Di

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  15. Liz Young Avatar
    Liz Young

    You twisted that humdrum beginning brilliantly.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Liz

      Like

      Reply
  16. Brenda's Thoughts Avatar
    Brenda’s Thoughts

    I think the pill keeps the voices at bay and the routine helps him to focus. Interesting and intriguing story!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Brenda

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  17. ForgivingConnects Avatar
    ForgivingConnects

    Wow, this is good. Disturbing and good! 🙂 Blessings to you, Iain. I enjoy reading your writing, thanks. ~Debbie

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Debbie, so kind 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  18. Dale Avatar
    Dale

    This was spooky on another level, Iain. More so because it is so real…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Dale

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  19. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) Avatar
    Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    The only thing that helps are pills and routines… wonder how the algebra helps (again)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Something to keep the mind occupied perhaps – although it wouldn’t be my first choice!

      Like

      Reply
  20. granonine Avatar
    granonine

    Sad, sad tale. This poor guy, sounds like paranoid schizophrenia—the pills are just barely keeping him calm. What an awful way to live.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I had something like that in mind. It’s not much of a life.

      Like

      Reply
  21. StuHN Avatar
    StuHN

    There’s that edge in the narration. Not sure even the pill is enough. If it wears off…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Glad you caught that edge.

      Like

      Reply
  22. Nobbinmaug Avatar
    Nobbinmaug

    Algebra’s perfect because it’s balance. The whole point of an algebraic equation is to make the two sides balance. I imagine it would help more than medication in this over-medicated society of ours.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      An interesting thought, thanks for reading

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  23. plaridel Avatar
    plaridel

    a pill a day can surely make his day. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      At least get him through each day 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  24. Abhijit Ray Avatar
    Abhijit Ray

    Something wrong with him? Why become angry when offered a pill? Is he in some institution?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      That was my idea, yes.

      Like

      Reply
  25. draliman Avatar
    draliman

    I see you noticed the word “asylum” in the photo’s filename! A rigid routine can be essential for many people with certain mental health issues. I could really feel this person’s tenuous grip on sanity.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you, yes asylum was where I saw them.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  26. Dawn Quyle Landau Avatar
    Dawn Quyle Landau

    Great inner voice, Lain. The reader is left wondering whether he’s in a psych unit or school. Great pacing!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Dawn, I agree, it could be either

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  27. Tannille Avatar
    Tannille

    A regular Monday morning…
    Great inner voice, Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  28. Alice Audrey Avatar
    Alice Audrey

    Do the pills help, or fuel the anger?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      A good question, are they helping or only making the long term situation worse?

      Like

      Reply
  29. Alicia L Jamtaas Avatar
    Alicia L Jamtaas

    You set this up so nicely. Very systematic. Then you show us why. Brilliant.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Alicia

      Like

      Reply
  30. patrickprinsloo Avatar
    patrickprinsloo

    Voiced aren’t funny. A victim’s routine well illustrated here.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Patrick

      Like

      Reply
  31. Laurie Bell Avatar
    Laurie Bell

    Oooo this is fabulous. Stick to the plan. Stay the course. Routine.
    Ignore the voices. Well done

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Laurie – sometimes those voices are hard to ignore!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  32. Woman walking Max Avatar
    Woman walking Max

    I really like the build up – from an ordinary bloke, morning routine, til the he gets his pill. The strong sense of routine rings so true to living in a institution- implied not stated. Good writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you, glad you saw the implication.

      Like

      Reply
  33. michael1148humphris Avatar
    michael1148humphris

    I am worried for the pupil and the school, tensions building in this story,

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      It feels like they may be close to a snap of some kind, I agree.

      Like

      Reply
  34. theministryofshrawleywalks Avatar
    theministryofshrawleywalks

    What is this person going through? Is the pill making him hear the voices or is the pill meant to silence them? This is really intriguing and you need to write more on this, its twisting me out; i’m off to do some trigonometry

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I hope the trigonometry helps! 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  35. 4963andypop Avatar
    4963andypop

    This building has the feel of a college building, which is where I thought you were heading,at first, thoough the uniform suggested a military school…then, I thought, more of an “alternative” school, or disciplinary institution where they send kids –the Algebra class makes me think he’s in high school or college–who have behavior issues or mental health challenges.

    As the story progresses, it deteriorates, that is, your image, as a reader, of how well his life will turn out, deteriorates, until you realize that he is not here by choice (unless voluntary commitment is truly a choice), and that he is is probably locked in his room until the doors are opened, and is probably a bit brainwashed with positivity. Good stuff, Iain!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      You have picked up on most of the hints in the story 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  36. gahlearner Avatar
    gahlearner

    I think most persistent illnesses feel like prison, but a mental illness must be even more so since it seems to rob you of all control. The routine, and the pill, barely manage a minimum of control, and it makes the story terrifying and hopeless. Excellent writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  37. lisarey1990 Avatar
    lisarey1990

    Greatly vivid. Very intriguing.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Lisa

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  38. Sascha Darlington Avatar
    Sascha Darlington

    I like that you’ve crafted this story with just enough detail to leave the reader to draw their own conclusions, good or bad. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Sascha, always appreciated 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Sascha Darlington Avatar
        Sascha Darlington

        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  39. Inside the Mind of Isadora Avatar
    Inside the Mind of Isadora

    A great interpretation of the photo prompt, lain. The pill sets a tone of ‘why’ which I love. Sounds a little OCD. Great story 👍😊
    Isadora 😎

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you so much 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  40. Margaret Avatar
    Margaret

    Great build up of tension in this.Powerful ending – taking all that’s gone before to another level entirely.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Margaret

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  41. Russell Avatar
    Russell

    I can sympathize. If I had to go back and take algebra again, I’d probably get mad too!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Haha, same here! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  42. magarisa Avatar
    magarisa

    I wonder if the place is saving his life or robbing him of his life. Perhaps the truth is somewhere in between. Very thought provoking.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I think you’re right, they certainly mean well, but are they actually doing more harm in trying to help?

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  43. The Reclining Gentleman Avatar
    The Reclining Gentleman

    I like the change of atmosphere in this Iain. A nice jaunty start to the daily routine but then we find out the dark truth about the routine and the battle behind it. Very well told.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you, much appreciated

      Like

      Reply
      1. The Reclining Gentleman Avatar
        The Reclining Gentleman

        👍

        Liked by 1 person

  44. Shirley McCann Avatar
    Shirley McCann

    Sounds like the start of a great story.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Shirley.

      Like

      Reply
  45. neeltheauthor- author of WHEN LIFE THROWS THOSE CURVE BALLS Avatar
    neeltheauthor- author of WHEN LIFE THROWS THOSE CURVE BALLS

    This indeed sounds the start of a great story. Superb scene setting, kelly

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Neel

      Like

      Reply
  46. Dawn M. Miller Avatar
    Dawn M. Miller

    The pill intrigues me as well. I read this three times but I am still confused. He seems very together until the pill and then he seems to be losing it.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Dawn. I think the togetherness before the pill is very shaky and he is always close to ‘losing it.’

      Like

      Reply
      1. Dawn M. Miller Avatar
        Dawn M. Miller

        Perhaps, it is simply that I was expecting something else and you caught me off guard, which is a good thing.

        Liked by 1 person

  47. Lynn Love Avatar
    Lynn Love

    Oh, dear, I feel a bad time is on the horizon. Everything will fall apart if he misses one of those little special pills or if his routine is somehow messed up. You’ve somehow managed to establish a dystopian, state controlled feel to this in very few words. Would make a great opening for something longer and I can see it fitting into sci-fi too. Great writing Iain

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Lynn, I hadn’t thought of it in a dystopian way, but I can see your thinking and it could absolutely work that way.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Lynn Love Avatar
        Lynn Love

        My pleasure Iain

        Liked by 1 person

  48. michaelwynnauthor Avatar
    michaelwynnauthor

    Like others I wonder what happens without the pill. everything is so ordered I wonder if that’s imposed on him or if he’s extremely OCD.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I think a mixture of both, imposed and resented but grudgingly accepted that it is needed.

      Like

      Reply

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