IAIN KELLY

CLOISTERED

The ridiculous habit made it difficult to clamber down the bush-covered arch into the cloister.

From there it was a sprint across the lawn to the door, where she knocked four times.

The door was opened. They paused at the gateway. Was this what they really wanted? Would the Lord be watching them?

No time to delay, it was now or never. Each of them de-robed, revealing modest everyday clothing.

With determined looks they stepped across the street.

This week the cinema was showing ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ and the secret Carmelite Nuns Film Society of Rome had heard it featured a Christian storyline.


cloister-roger-b
Copyright Roger Bultot

Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).

For those not aware – many Carmelite nuns live within their nunnery and as part of their strict religious vows never venture out into the rest of the world. ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ is a popular, preposterous erotic novel and film with a leading male character named Christian…

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.


My first novel, ‘A Justified State,’ is available now
‘a first class read from start to finish’ – reader review
Amazon.com / Amazon.co.uk / Book Depository
Amazon.in / Amazon.au / Amazon.ca

And finally, last week I managed to make a start to the sequel, which I hope to publish in the autumn!

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114 responses to “CLOISTERED”

  1. neilmacdon Avatar

    Reminds me of the terrible joke: Q: What fun do monks have? A: nun

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      *chortle* 🙂

      Like

  2. Varad Avatar

    Oh no! They are going to get the shock of their lives. (not because of the erotic parts, but just the inane story and acting) This was very funny, Iain.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Yes, as a film society they know what’s good and what’s bad. They may not like what they see!

      Like

  3. pensitivity101 Avatar

    Brilliant (from one who has no wish to read the books or watch the movies in any hue!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Di – I have no desire to read or watch either 🙂

      Like

      1. pensitivity101 Avatar

        Now your sequel on the other hand…………….

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Iain Kelly Avatar

        Thank you, I will keep you updated. Still only on chapter one but most of the plot exists in my head so I’m hoping it will all come together nicely.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. pensitivity101 Avatar

        Can’t rush it. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      4. joyroses13 Avatar

        You mirrored my thoughts!! 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      5. pensitivity101 Avatar

        I enjoyed the first.

        Liked by 2 people

      6. joyroses13 Avatar

        I really did too! It was a page turner!

        Liked by 2 people

      7. joyroses13 Avatar

        And I told him something that I wanted to happen with the characters so don’t know what’s taking so long, I gave him an idea. LOL! 🙂
        No rush Iain! 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      8. Iain Kelly Avatar

        Haha, I’m not giving anything away at this stage 😉

        Like

      9. joyroses13 Avatar

        Dang! It didn’t work. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. rochellewisoff Avatar

    Dear Iain,

    I daresay that those nuns are about to turn fifty shades of red. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      They may be in for quite a shocking evening 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Tannille Avatar

    OMG this would make a great skit…
    I’ll stop short a flogging joke 😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Sadje Avatar

    The last line was a clincher!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Sadje 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadje Avatar

        You’re welcome

        Liked by 1 person

  7. neeltheauthor- author of WHEN LIFE THROWS THOSE CURVE BALLS Avatar

    Hope the others, the ones who were left out turned fifty shades green with envy. Lovely story, Kelly

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I wonder if they will report back exactly what happened in the film! 🙂

      Like

  8. Tamara Avatar

    Hey there, Iain, just popping in to say hello! How are you doing? Aren’t you doing A-Z this year?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Hey, so nice to hear from you and thank you for thinking of me! Unfortunately not able to find the time to do A-Z this year for various reasons, mainly family health related. I am using the time to get in a bit of writing of my 2nd novel, so not being lazy! Do check out my first book on Amazon if you get the chance – it’s called ‘A Justified State’. Writing the sequel now. Hope you are well and will pop over and see what you are up to for your A to Z this year 🙂

      Like

  9. Violet Lentz Avatar

    brilliant twist Iain! the sisters are in for the afternoon of their lives!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Violet. I wonder if it will shake their faith in anyway… 🙂

      Like

  10. J Hardy Carroll Avatar

    Even nuns are prone to bad habits!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I like to think more than we realise 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Abhijit Ray Avatar
    Abhijit Ray

    Ah! nuns going to watch a movie. It is not a sin, is it?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Depends on the movie I suspect!

      Like

  12. joyroses13 Avatar

    OOOH those poor nuns! I do believe they will be struck speechlesss!
    One movie that I have never seen and don’t have intentions too, but this story was quite creative and your last line was great!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I have never seen it either and from the reviews I doubt I ever shall. I suspect, like the nuns, I am not part of the target audience anyway!

      Like

  13. patriciaruthsusan Avatar

    I’m fairly sure that film’s going to rate quite far below an “X” on the rating scale. Good writing, Iain. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Suzanne 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  14. deborahsdeliberations Avatar
    deborahsdeliberations

    Those poor Nuns. They in for the shock of their lives. Good one, Iain 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I only hope none of them are too elderly! 🙂

      Like

  15. granonine Avatar

    I didn’t read the book(s) or see the movie, so I hardly qualify to make a comment. I suspect, however, that they’re going to be in for a shock 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Oh I think so! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  16. gahlearner Avatar
    gahlearner

    What a fun story, Iain. Those poor nuns, I hope they leave the cinema running and screaming.
    I read somewhere that Fifty Shades is constructed in the ideal way with all the major plot points at the right place, and so I worked my way through volume 1– I did know what I was getting into. This is so bad on so many levels… yeagh. Cliché, cliché, cliché… and pretty boring.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      You did better than me, I think I lasted about 2 pages and gave up, the writing was terrible – although who am I to criticise a million-selling author?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. gahlearner Avatar
        gahlearner

        It’s the sex and the thrill of the alleged BDSM–which is really badly researched, I’m told.

        Liked by 1 person

  17. scr4pl80 Avatar

    LOL. I haven’t seen the movie and was under impressed with the book (only read the first one) but I would love to see the look on the nun’s faces in the theater, unless of course they knew EXACTLY what kind of story it was! Hoping all is okay with your family.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Are you suggesting these nuns are not as innocent as they seem?! 🙂 Thanks Janet, all is well here.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Lady Coloresque Avatar

    Knowing nuns, I can almost hear them screeching. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      🙂 Thank you

      Like

  19. James Pyles Avatar

    LOL. You had me at “disrobed.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks James 🙂

      Like

  20. LizYoung Avatar

    They’re all human under those robes – I should know, I’m a Vicar’s daughter!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Dale Avatar

    Buahahaha! I almost choked on my coffee!
    This was great, Iain!
    Those nuns are in for a surprise…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Dale, glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  22. ceayr Avatar

    Funny story, Iain, and thanks for the explanation of ‘Christian’!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      You mean you haven’t been tempted by the books?!

      Like

      1. ceayr Avatar

        I guess grey just isn’t my colour…

        Liked by 1 person

  23. Jade Li Avatar

    Delightful! Made me laugh.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you so much 🙂

      Like

  24. Jelli Avatar
    Jelli

    I can just picture the looks on the nuns faces when they realize what they’ve walked into… guffaws of laughter guaranteed to get me banned from the library (again!) ensue… ah, but it’s worth it! Loved it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      So pleased you enjoyed it 🙂

      Like

  25. Nobbinmaug Avatar

    Thank for explaining the “Christian plot-line.” I love the idea of nuns sneaking out to see “50 Shades Of Grey,” but I’m completely ignorant of the details. That enhanced the humor. Good one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I am happily ignorant of much more than these details!

      Liked by 1 person

  26. 4963andypop Avatar

    Funny idea. Sounded at first, when they were disrobing like they were going to do their own version of the film, but that was just your sleight of hand, Nice feint.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Heaven forbid! 🙂

      Like

  27. Russell Gayer Avatar

    The secret life of nuns. But I’ve having nun of it.
    I would have loved to see her climb down in that habit.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      They’re just not practical those habits.

      Like

  28. Alicia L Jamtaas Avatar

    As someone who went to a Catholic school back in the 1960’s (Sisters of Mercury ~ or not) this really struck my funny bone. Thanks, Ian

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Glad you appreciated it 🙂

      Like

  29. theministryofshrawleywalks Avatar

    I love this, made me chuckle and as they seem to know what they do it is also a habit climbing down the ivy in a habit. Nice stuff

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Glad it raised a chuckle 🙂

      Like

  30. ForgivingConnects Avatar

    I love this Iain! So fun and real at the same time. 🙂

    Blessings to you.
    Debbie

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you so much Debbie, very kind 🙂

      Like

  31. draliman Avatar

    Ha, I’m sure they won’t be disappointed 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Depends what they think they’re going to see…! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  32. patrickprinsloo Avatar

    Hooray for the nuns. Hope they enjoy the show.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I bet they will really, although they can’t admit it of course!

      Like

  33. Rachel Bjerke Avatar

    Ha!! I literally laughed out loud… Great ending 🙂

    -Rachel

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you so much Rachel, glad it gave you a laugh 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  34. plaridel Avatar

    i enjoyed the lovely twist. it was totally unexpected. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  35. Laurie Bell Avatar

    Bahahahah OMG hilarious ending

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Laurie 😉

      Like

  36. notestowomen Avatar

    Great story, Iain. I would love to be there to see their reactions when they discover that the movie isn’t at all what they thought. They’ll be turning fifty or more shades of red.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Indeed they would! Thank you 🙂

      Like

  37. James McEwan Avatar

    A fantastic laugh. I kept imagining the ‘Nuns Big Night’. a hen party on the rampage, bless them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Haha, thanks James 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  38. Woman walking Max Avatar

    Made me laugh – what a great idea – the nuns’ secret film society meets 50 shades – mind boggling idea.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you, glad it got a chuckle 🙂

      Like

  39. Dawn Quyle Landau Avatar

    Eye roll. Such risks for 50 Shades!? I love the play on words–– Christian indeed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Dawn 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  40. amylasater Avatar

    Good decision , far better than the actual movie ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I’ve heard it’s not great!

      Like

  41. Dawn M. Miller Avatar

    This is the world we live in…a contradiction of itself!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      We do seem to be surrounded by contradictions 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  42. JoHawkTheWriter Avatar

    You made me laugh Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Jo, pleased it got a laugh 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  43. Alice Audrey Avatar
    Alice Audrey

    So… cloak and dagger Christianity?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Exactly 🙂

      Like

  44. Brenda's Thoughts Avatar

    I think they are in for a shock, and after all they went through to get there. Excited about the sequel, Iain!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Brenda. Will keep you updated on the sequel 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  45. Margaret Avatar

    I love the idea of a nuns’ secret film society. Hilarious. And the last line – oh my gosh.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Margaret 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  46. gillyflower Avatar
    gillyflower

    Brilliant! Made me laugh. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you so much 🙂

      Like

  47. The Reclining Gentleman Avatar

    Haha! You led us through some nice misdirection there, Iain. They are in for an interesting afternoon…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      They sure are! 🙂

      Like

  48. Fatima Fakier Avatar

    Ha ha ha! Not quite the christian storyline they were expecting I bet. I’ve not read or watched any of te fifty shades stuff myself – it just never drew my attention. It is very popular though.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      It seems to be – I’m not sure why!

      Like

  49. magarisa Avatar

    The ending caught me by surprise! A delightful tale. 🙂

    Great to hear you’ve started the sequel to A Justified State, which I just finished reading last week. What a page-turner… I shall write a review soon!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you so much for reading it and glad to hear you liked it! Look forward to reading your review and I will keep you updated on the next one – hoping sometime around the end of summer it will be ready 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  50. michaelwynnauthor Avatar

    Naughty nuns and mad monks, it’s a whole different world we can’t possibly hope to understand. 🙂 Nicely done Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Michael

      Liked by 1 person

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