Iain Kelly

Fiction Writing

BLURRED LINES

Stumbling along the street. he tried to make sense of it. Everything was a blur, like raindrops had covered his spectacles, but it hadn’t been raining. His world was out of kilter, unfocused and obscure. How could they have known?

He reached the intersection between the two main roads. Shapes flew passed in both directions. He staggered out between them. It didn’t matter to him if he was hit by one of them. It was what he deserved. Car horns blared.

He saw the headlines they would write about him. He felt the shame. He could never face those he loved again.

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Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Written for Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

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To find out more about my novels, buy them, or read for FREE with Kindle Unlimited, just follow the links below:
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Iain Kelly

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66 responses to “BLURRED LINES”

  1. neilmacdon Avatar
    neilmacdon

    I had no idea what his secret was. And it didn’t matter. What mattered was that I understood his decision. And you left us in no doubt about that. Good job, Iain

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Neil, much appreciated

      Like

      Reply
  2. Tannille Avatar
    Tannille

    Tears blurred his vision? A great sense of being in the moment with this character.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  3. Susan A Eames Avatar
    Susan A Eames

    Excellent visual image of a tortured soul. Well done, Iain.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Susan

      Like

      Reply
  4. pennygadd51 Avatar
    pennygadd51

    You really have developed a knack for drawing the reader into your world, Iain. We don’t know what your MC has done, we don’t know why it was so dreadful, we don’t know why he is too ashamed to see those he loves, we don’t even know his name. And we care for him, we care what happens, and we want to know what happens next! Kudos!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you so much Penny, lovely comment!

      Like

      Reply
  5. Colline Avatar
    Colline

    This piece has made me curious about what has caused him so much anxiety. Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Colline

      Like

      Reply
  6. J Hardy Carroll Avatar
    J Hardy Carroll

    Terribly sad. I’ve been there, too. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks, much appreciated

      Like

      Reply
  7. Dale Avatar
    Dale

    Wonderfully written, Iain. As the others have said, it doesn’t matter that we don’t know the deets, all that matters is we care about him!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Dale

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  8. rochellewisoff Avatar
    rochellewisoff

    Dear Iain,

    Like the others, I wonder what he’s done that makes him think he deserves to die such a horrible death. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Rochelle

      Like

      Reply
  9. granonine Avatar
    granonine

    You know, it’s bad enough to have done something to make one so ashamed. When the media gets hold of it, living seems impossible.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      True, the media are ruthless if ti helps to sell some copy. Thanks Linda

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  10. Russell Gayer Avatar
    Russell Gayer

    Excellent piece, Iain. As others have said, you make us care about the character without providing a lot of details. This is an example of superb writing. My top hat is off to you.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Russell, extremely kind 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  11. mjlstories Avatar
    mjlstories

    And now I want you to wind the story back and tell me what brought him to this. He is so full of shame it is hard not to feel for him – but then I thought he could have done something dreadful. Intriguing!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you, I like to see what the readers make of it and fill in their own idea of what he may have done!

      Like

      Reply
  12. msjadeli Avatar
    msjadeli

    Great in vivo writing, Iain. Maybe he’ll be gravely wounded when hit so he’ll feel punished but survive to make amends to his family.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      An optimistic outcome 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  13. Nobbinmaug Avatar
    Nobbinmaug

    I don’t know what he did, but I can tell a swift death is too good for him.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Oh, harsh! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Nobbinmaug Avatar
        Nobbinmaug

        I have a feeling his act(s) was harsher.

        Liked by 1 person

  14. notestowomen Avatar
    notestowomen

    Superb writing, Iain. You drew me into this man’s life and had me on tenterhooks as he reached the point where things were so bad that death was preferable. I am hoping that by some miracle he doesn’t get hit by a car and that he finds the courage to face his loved ones. And that whatever it is that he has done, they would deal with it together.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you, I’m pleased this piece is creating such a response 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  15. Alicia Jamtaas Avatar
    Alicia Jamtaas

    Oh! What has he done? You leave us wondering. Plus, for some odd reason, we are rooting for your main character. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Alicia, I’m leaving it up to you to imagine what he might have done 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  16. Brenda's Thoughts Avatar
    Brenda’s Thoughts

    Wow, you don’t disappoint. Excellent writing as usual. In so few words you created an in depth character. His despair, hopelessness, and shame are tangible. I’m routing for him. Maybe at the last moment he’ll turn back. Well-done, Iain! I hope you have a nice weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Brenda, very kind! Hope you have a good weekend too 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  17. JS Brand Avatar
    JS Brand

    This deserves to be more than a standalone tale, Iain. Come on, spill the beans, how did he get to this ending? (If it is an ending)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I have my own ideas, but I’m leaving this one for you to decide – for now at least! Thanks for reading 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  18. draliman Avatar
    draliman

    Great description of someone in total shock. It looks like his whole world has collapsed around him.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  19. Keith's Ramblings Avatar
    Keith’s Ramblings

    Gone, but never to be forgotten. Not just by those that knew him, but those involved that day also.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Very true, thanks Keith

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  20. bearmkwa Avatar
    bearmkwa

    That was DEEP! Leaves you wondering what he did, though. Almost reminds me of last night’s “Criminal Minds” episode. It was done with a unique perspective… the perp begging them to find and stop him because he couldn’t stop himself.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you

      Like

      Reply
  21. Liz Young Avatar
    Liz Young

    I dread to think what he’s done.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Perhaps something he had no control over?

      Like

      Reply
  22. Eugenia Parrish Author Avatar
    Eugenia Parrish Author

    My heart cries for your character in just this climactic moment. To feel his despair and not even know what he’s done — fantastic job.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Eugenia, glad it is managing to provoke some strong reactions.

      Like

      Reply
  23. plaridel Avatar
    plaridel

    he was such a coward. for one, he could have killed himself by not involving anybody.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      A lot of interesting reactions to this one – half with sympathy, half not so much

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  24. Laurie Bell Avatar
    Laurie Bell

    Oh man, what did he do? Great tension in this Iain! Left wondering I fear what it is he did to cause such pain

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Laurie

      Like

      Reply
  25. joyroses13 Avatar
    joyroses13

    Hi Iain! For some reason I hadn’t been getting your posts. I missed them, but thought you may just be working on your 3rd book. 🙂
    Now I see I have catch up to do with your posts.
    Great story. Stirred the soul. Felt sorry for the guy, even though I didn’t know what he did!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Have no fear, the 3rd book is coming along nicely. Good to have you back on the blog too, hope you like some of the short stories 🙂

      Like

      Reply
      1. joyroses13 Avatar
        joyroses13

        Yay!
        Thanks and yes I have enjoyed them!

        Liked by 1 person

  26. Russell Avatar
    Russell

    I don’t know what he did, but it must have been pretty bad to be walking into traffic like that. I liked that you could feel not only the emotion from the main character, but also of those he had disappointed.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Russell, always appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  27. theministryofshrawleywalks Avatar
    theministryofshrawleywalks

    Intrigued, I wonder what he has done, good stuff as ever Iain

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you – I’m sure you could come up with a theory as to what he has done.

      Like

      Reply
  28. michaelwynnauthor Avatar
    michaelwynnauthor

    Whatever his crime you can feel his remorse. Very intense, Iain

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Michael

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  29. James McEwan Avatar
    James McEwan

    For some, shame is the end of the world, uncaring others brush it their collar like dandruff.
    Great piece of emotional writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks James

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  30. Fatima Fakier Avatar
    Fatima Fakier

    This is good writing as you had us empathizing with this stranger. We wonder what he has done. And why the media would be so interested in it?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Exactly, thank you Fatima

      Like

      Reply
  31. Woman walking Max Avatar
    Woman walking Max

    A really well crafted story Iain, I liked the fact that we did not know what he’d done. Think you captured his state of mind so well.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you so much

      Like

      Reply
  32. Sascha Darlington Avatar
    Sascha Darlington

    So well done, Iain. He got caught. We don’t need to know about what…something that blurred the lines.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      That’s the idea, thank you Sascha!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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