Stumbling along the street. he tried to make sense of it. Everything was a blur, like raindrops had covered his spectacles, but it hadn’t been raining. His world was out of kilter, unfocused and obscure. How could they have known?
He reached the intersection between the two main roads. Shapes flew passed in both directions. He staggered out between them. It didn’t matter to him if he was hit by one of them. It was what he deserved. Car horns blared.
He saw the headlines they would write about him. He felt the shame. He could never face those he loved again.
Written for Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).
To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.
To find out more about my novels, buy them, or read for FREE with Kindle Unlimited, just follow the links below:
A JUSTIFIED STATE: U.S.A. – AMAZON.COM UNITED KINGDOM AUSTRALIA CANADA INDIA
STATE OF DENIAL: U.S.A. – AMAZON.COM UNITED KINGDOM
AUSTRALIA CANADA INDIA
I had no idea what his secret was. And it didn’t matter. What mattered was that I understood his decision. And you left us in no doubt about that. Good job, Iain
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Thanks Neil, much appreciated
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Tears blurred his vision? A great sense of being in the moment with this character.
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Thank you
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Excellent visual image of a tortured soul. Well done, Iain.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thanks Susan
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You really have developed a knack for drawing the reader into your world, Iain. We don’t know what your MC has done, we don’t know why it was so dreadful, we don’t know why he is too ashamed to see those he loves, we don’t even know his name. And we care for him, we care what happens, and we want to know what happens next! Kudos!
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Thank you so much Penny, lovely comment!
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This piece has made me curious about what has caused him so much anxiety. Well done!
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Thank you Colline
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Terribly sad. I’ve been there, too. Well done.
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Thanks, much appreciated
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Wonderfully written, Iain. As the others have said, it doesn’t matter that we don’t know the deets, all that matters is we care about him!
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Thank you Dale
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Dear Iain,
Like the others, I wonder what he’s done that makes him think he deserves to die such a horrible death. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you Rochelle
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You know, it’s bad enough to have done something to make one so ashamed. When the media gets hold of it, living seems impossible.
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True, the media are ruthless if ti helps to sell some copy. Thanks Linda
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Excellent piece, Iain. As others have said, you make us care about the character without providing a lot of details. This is an example of superb writing. My top hat is off to you.
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Thank you Russell, extremely kind 🙂
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And now I want you to wind the story back and tell me what brought him to this. He is so full of shame it is hard not to feel for him – but then I thought he could have done something dreadful. Intriguing!
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Thank you, I like to see what the readers make of it and fill in their own idea of what he may have done!
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Great in vivo writing, Iain. Maybe he’ll be gravely wounded when hit so he’ll feel punished but survive to make amends to his family.
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An optimistic outcome 🙂
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I don’t know what he did, but I can tell a swift death is too good for him.
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Oh, harsh! 🙂
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I have a feeling his act(s) was harsher.
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Superb writing, Iain. You drew me into this man’s life and had me on tenterhooks as he reached the point where things were so bad that death was preferable. I am hoping that by some miracle he doesn’t get hit by a car and that he finds the courage to face his loved ones. And that whatever it is that he has done, they would deal with it together.
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Thank you, I’m pleased this piece is creating such a response 🙂
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Oh! What has he done? You leave us wondering. Plus, for some odd reason, we are rooting for your main character. Well done.
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Thank you Alicia, I’m leaving it up to you to imagine what he might have done 🙂
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Wow, you don’t disappoint. Excellent writing as usual. In so few words you created an in depth character. His despair, hopelessness, and shame are tangible. I’m routing for him. Maybe at the last moment he’ll turn back. Well-done, Iain! I hope you have a nice weekend.
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Thank you Brenda, very kind! Hope you have a good weekend too 🙂
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This deserves to be more than a standalone tale, Iain. Come on, spill the beans, how did he get to this ending? (If it is an ending)
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I have my own ideas, but I’m leaving this one for you to decide – for now at least! Thanks for reading 🙂
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Great description of someone in total shock. It looks like his whole world has collapsed around him.
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Thank you
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Gone, but never to be forgotten. Not just by those that knew him, but those involved that day also.
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Very true, thanks Keith
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That was DEEP! Leaves you wondering what he did, though. Almost reminds me of last night’s “Criminal Minds” episode. It was done with a unique perspective… the perp begging them to find and stop him because he couldn’t stop himself.
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Thank you
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I dread to think what he’s done.
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Perhaps something he had no control over?
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My heart cries for your character in just this climactic moment. To feel his despair and not even know what he’s done — fantastic job.
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Thank you Eugenia, glad it is managing to provoke some strong reactions.
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he was such a coward. for one, he could have killed himself by not involving anybody.
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A lot of interesting reactions to this one – half with sympathy, half not so much
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Oh man, what did he do? Great tension in this Iain! Left wondering I fear what it is he did to cause such pain
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Thanks Laurie
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Hi Iain! For some reason I hadn’t been getting your posts. I missed them, but thought you may just be working on your 3rd book. 🙂
Now I see I have catch up to do with your posts.
Great story. Stirred the soul. Felt sorry for the guy, even though I didn’t know what he did!
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Have no fear, the 3rd book is coming along nicely. Good to have you back on the blog too, hope you like some of the short stories 🙂
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Yay!
Thanks and yes I have enjoyed them!
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I don’t know what he did, but it must have been pretty bad to be walking into traffic like that. I liked that you could feel not only the emotion from the main character, but also of those he had disappointed.
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Thanks Russell, always appreciated.
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Intrigued, I wonder what he has done, good stuff as ever Iain
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Thank you – I’m sure you could come up with a theory as to what he has done.
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Whatever his crime you can feel his remorse. Very intense, Iain
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Thanks Michael
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For some, shame is the end of the world, uncaring others brush it their collar like dandruff.
Great piece of emotional writing.
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Thanks James
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This is good writing as you had us empathizing with this stranger. We wonder what he has done. And why the media would be so interested in it?
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Exactly, thank you Fatima
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A really well crafted story Iain, I liked the fact that we did not know what he’d done. Think you captured his state of mind so well.
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Thank you so much
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So well done, Iain. He got caught. We don’t need to know about what…something that blurred the lines.
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That’s the idea, thank you Sascha!
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