They waved him through the road block. No one noticed the sweat on his hands where they gripped the steering wheel. No one checked the rusty trunk on the rusty flatbed truck. They were looking for a Prius, not a clapped out pick-up.
He drove for another five miles, then pulled into a layby. He unlocked the trunk. The kid was still asleep. Perhaps he had used too much of the drug. He wasn’t a pharmacist.
He dialled the number on the burner phone. She answered, distraught.
‘Two million, or you never see the kid again.’ He hung up and tossed the phone.
Written for Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).
To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.
72 responses to “PICK-UP”
A schoolboy error. He didn’t tell her where to make the drop. Now he’s going to have to buy another phone
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He only had 100 words! 🙂 He’s got it planned out, plenty of burner phones ready. Or perhaps he knows her and she will know where to put the money for him to collect.
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Oh good. I can’t abide a sloppy kidnapper
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Very intense story Iain
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Thanks Sadje
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Good take Iain.
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Thanks Di
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Dear Iain,
That story certainly took a sinister turn. I wasn’t familiar with the word layby. Another to add to my list of British terms. Love it. Some of them even find their way into my vocabulary which gets me interesting looks. And Bob’s your uncle.
Good story, sir.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I see a new pick up on its way. But the child must be released first.
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🙂 thanks Michael
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Oh, a perfectly horrid tale. Great writing! this could be too true….
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Thanks so much – let’s hope it’s not true!
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Sadly, it probably is somewhere along the border. sigh…
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Good one. I’ll admit that actually did -lol- when I read your response to Neil about number of words your kidnapper had to work with…
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It’s not easy coming up with a convaluted kidnap plan with only 100 words to work with! Thanks Trent 🙂
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The kidnapper needs to be one of those outback silent types.
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Tense and thrilling, well done, Iain.
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Thanks Mason
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Must be tense moment for kidnapper… good story Iain
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Thank you!
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I was thinking along the lines Neil did thought I figured he had already made the drop off location known… Of course, I read your response and see the plan 😉
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Thanks Dale, word limits and kidnaps do not mix well! 🙂
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Only when your readers are being brats 😉
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Sounds like he had it well planned (except for the 100 word limit). 🙂
Let’s hope he didn’t use too much of the drug. Great writing, Iain. Loved the suspense.
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Thanks Russell, hope you are well.
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Reminds me of the story I read, “The Chain,” where a child gets kidnapped and in order to get the child back the parents have to pay a ransom AND kidnap another child. Scary stuff. Great take on the photo though!
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Thank you Janet, always lovely to hear from you 🙂
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I see your kidnapper also thought it was a good place to hide “things.” Good story, Iain. I hope the kid gets home safely.
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I have hopes of a happy ending for this one. Thank you!
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You’re welcome, Iain.
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I hope the child gets erscued! A good beginning for a longer story?
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Thanks Alana – who knows! 🙂
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SO realistic and tense. Pick up trucks must inspire stories like this
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Definitely something about this truckbthat is bringing out a few worst fears today! Thanks Larry.
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Well said in a 100 words.
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Thanks Danny
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Your writing here is very assured and professional. Great story, Iain.
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Thanks so much Penny
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Oh, so clever to hide in plain sight. Well done, Iain. :-).
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Thanks Bill
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He’s jumped the first hurdle. What next I wonder! Nice one Iain.
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Seems like he still has a way to go before this is a success. Thanks Keith.
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Horrible man – poor little kid – and a parent’s nightmare.
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Yes, whatever his motives, its not a good way to go about things.
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no instruction to deliver the ransom money? looks like we’re dealing with a neophyte here. 🙂
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Thanks 😊
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Oh boy, he’s a cool customer. Very tense story. Leaves me in an agony of suspense about the welfare of the little boy and his family. And road block personnel should always check for sweaty palmed drivers with kid-sized trunks in back. Dead give-away.
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Those local cops, never any use in any film I’ve seen! 🙂
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You’ve got to pick your friends carefully around here. Having someone reading your stories trying to decide whether they’re going to save your life or carve you up. Steal your share of the loot, or kidnap your kid. It’s a tough world. I really enjoyed your story and think you did well in 100 words and hiding someone in that rust bucket.
I hope the kid gets home safely and this character rots away in gaol. However, this guy is crafty and could get away with it.
Best wishes,
Rowena
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Always a high body count every week on FriFic! Thanks Rowena
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Yes, but I think I was the only one down the suicide path this week. Should I be concerned?
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Let’s hope he didn’t use way too much of the drug or everyone could be out of luck.
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Agreed!
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Powered pack in 100 words … those pesky ransoms. Who has 2 million dollars.
Keep the kid. LOL just kidding. Oh my G-d, I can just see people outraged with me saying that.
I do have a sick sense of humor. BUT … you know kidnapped kids or adults never seem to come out alive.
Let’s hope he really wants the money and gets it so the child can be returned.
Have a wonderful weekdend, Iain.
Isadora 😎
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Thanks Isadora 😊
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Ooooo creepy. Sounds reasonably planned, second vehicle, drugs… hopefully she gets her kid back. I wonder what his motive is…I mean a part from money. Sounds desperate. Great tension and descriptions of his mood
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Thanks Laurie 😊
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in fact the story now begins
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Thank you
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Who cares about the drop-off. That can be arranged. I found it much better that you focussed on the state of the kid, that makes the horror of the kidnapping complete. Great, tense story.
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Thank you 😊
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Tightly told, info-packed dark story, Iain, I really liked the subtle line about the drug measure. Things could turn a lot darker.
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Thanks Jilly 😊
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Unless he’s talking about pesos, that’s an expensive kid. Does he have a cheaper kid? Let’s make a deal.
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Price of everything going up.
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I’m having almost as much with the comments as with the story, here Iain – and that’s how you know it is a really great story, when people have so much fun with it. Great story told in so few words too.
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Thank you, I do like it when readers get involved 😊
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Plot twist: this occurred during the pandemic. Mom sent the 2mil with the instruction to keep her kid.
Great story. It was sinister, but not *too* sinister – just the right amount of sinister. Now, if he hadn’t gotten the drug dose correct… Well then, that would be a whole lotta sinister.
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Ha, you may be right. Lockdown was a trying time for a lot of parents!
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Oh wait, you can’t end there! Curious minds want to know! 🙂
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100 words only! Sorry! 😉
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Haha!
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