Iain Kelly

Fiction Writing

URBAN STREET

I walked down Urban Street where the kid had taken the bullet last night.

The Community Center sat on the corner. It looked like a vacant lot. All the windows were boarded up.

I heard singing. A mournful gospel voice. I pulled open the door and edged in. The choir broke into a powerful cry.

A minister spoke as the choir subsided. He demanded change for the nieghbourhood. More jobs. More money. Stop the violence. Stop the drugs.

I saw who I had come for. He turned and saw me. He knew. When the choir started their next song, he walked down the aisle towards me.

‘I just wanted him to stop,’ he said. ‘I didn’t mean to kill him.’

‘You shouldn’t have shot him then,’ I replied and took him out the door.

Another beautiful Buffalo day, another family torn apart by gun violence.

So what’s new?

buffalo

Written for ‘What Pegman Saw’, a weekly prompt based on a view from Google Maps. The idea is to write a piece of fiction of around 150 words based on the prompt. Full details can be found HERE.

For more stories based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

33 responses to “URBAN STREET”

joyroses13

January 28, 2017 at 2:07 pm

So sad! I hate gun violence! It so needs to stop.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  January 28, 2017 at 2:09 pm
  
  Thanks Joy, it’s sad that it was the story that sprung to mind when I saw the prompt. It does need to stop, but will it ever?
  
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  1. joyroses13
    
    January 28, 2017 at 2:13 pm
    
    Good question, but I am afraid of the answer.
    I just hate how really we have all become kinda of used to it. IT doesn’t shock us anymore to hear of a shooting in the news.
    When that shooting happened in Florida at the airport recently, my daughter saw it come across the TV in breaking news. She called out to me, ” Mom, there was another shooting.”, No shock in her voice at all. That’s what stood out to me and made me sadder. What kind of world is it going to be for our children?
    
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  2. Iain Kelly
    
    January 28, 2017 at 2:17 pm
    
    From the point of view of Europe, we look at the shootings, one after the other, and it just seems strange to us that nothing is done, that the law isn’t changed. What would it take to finally change the laws? It seems no massacre is big enough.
    
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Thalia Graves

January 28, 2017 at 3:29 pm

Very well written. Gun violence is a real problem. I couldn’t have imagined anyone bringing a gun to school, now it is a real fear for students. I know the piece isn’t about school shootings, but I thought of that as my niece and nephew are still school age.
Sadly, I don’t see the racism that drives the sort of scene you’ve written about here disappearing any time soon.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  January 28, 2017 at 5:11 pm
  
  Many thanks, it doesn’t seem like there is the collective will to do anything about it, whether through gun control or the underlying social problems.
  
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jellico84

January 28, 2017 at 3:38 pm

Powerful words. True to the bone. Very very sad. Just last week, we had a little nine year old girl murdered in broad daylight by a driveby shooter. It was over the river from us, but still just as shocking. Everyday, I watch the little ones wait for the bus outside my window with phone in hand (just in case), and I pray for their safety. Every afternoon, I watch them come home, and my heart whispers a thankful prayer upwards when I count all the little heads, and then hear them run up the steps to the floor above us.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  January 28, 2017 at 5:12 pm
  
  It’s terrifying that it should come to that everyday you fear for them just going to school. Thanks for reading.
  
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Chris C.

January 28, 2017 at 5:05 pm

Chilling story. This highlights how alien gun control – or the lack thereof – is to people outside of Europe. I can never wrap my head around how something so lethal can be so easily obtained in the US, or why it’s so mired in controversy when anyone even attempts to change the laws or make them stricter!

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  January 28, 2017 at 5:13 pm
  
  Thanks Chris, you are right, looking from the outside the politics and law makers failure to do anything just seems crazy.
  
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k rawson

January 28, 2017 at 6:57 pm

Powerfully written and sad story. In researching to write for this prompt, I came across true-life version of this tale in the headlines just this week, only a few blocks away.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  January 28, 2017 at 7:04 pm
  
  I saw that too, I think it was just the next street along. My thoughts were heading that way before I saw that news story. Sad as it seems to be predictable. Thanks for the comment.
  
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Alicia Jamtaas

January 28, 2017 at 7:49 pm

Somehow I picture death coming for the accused. Is that what you were aiming for? Nicely done.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  January 28, 2017 at 8:08 pm
  
  Maybe eventually. I was more picturing the police detective arresting him and the tired acceptance with which he does it.
  
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  1. Alicia Jamtaas
    
    January 28, 2017 at 9:37 pm
    
    I thought that at first then after rereading I thought death….. Great story either way.
    
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rochellewisoff

January 28, 2017 at 9:01 pm

Dear Iain,

The last line made me gasp with indignation. What’s new? How desensitized we can become. I’m as guilty as the next person and have even uttered the words, “What’s new?” Then two weeks ago a friend’s fiance became a fatality.
Good story, although hard to read and not point a finger at myself.

Shalom,

Rochelle

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  January 28, 2017 at 9:25 pm
  
  Thanks Rochelle, I’m glad the story had an impact. One small thing we writers can do is try and remind people that this shouldn’t be the norm, we shouldn’t be desensitised and we should keep trying to point this out and change things. My sympathies to your friend. Best, Iain.
  
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prior..

January 29, 2017 at 11:33 am

sad… but spot on for the area.

can I have a tissue please….

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  January 29, 2017 at 1:33 pm
  
  Thanks, I researched the area a little and this seemed to be the news that was around there. Such a shame. Thanks for the prompt suggestion.
  
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  1. prior..
    
    January 29, 2017 at 1:40 pm
    
    yes, it is such a shame – and I am from this area – well I have lived away longer than I ever lived there – but the city area is a sad place….
    
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  2. prior..
    
    January 29, 2017 at 2:44 pm
    
    I forgot to tell you that I LOVED the title too – “Urban Street”almost sounded chic – bah
    
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  3. Iain Kelly
    
    January 29, 2017 at 2:52 pm
    
    It did lend itself to a good title, almost film noir I thought.
    
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Bill

January 30, 2017 at 10:12 am

I could not refrain from commenting. Perfectly written!

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Monday Reflection: Week 5 – Let it come from the heart

January 30, 2017 at 11:12 am

[…] Urban Street by Iain Kelly […]

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neelwritesblog

January 30, 2017 at 12:40 pm

We’ve become kinda immune to violence and that is the most tragic thing to ever happen. Wonderful writing, Lain.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  January 30, 2017 at 12:42 pm
  
  Thanks Neel, much appreciated. A sad state of affairs indeed.
  
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mandibelle16

January 30, 2017 at 5:16 pm

Congrats Ian!

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  January 30, 2017 at 5:19 pm
  
  Thanks Mandi
  
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Dahlia

January 31, 2017 at 2:50 pm

Terribly and true, Well written Iain

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  January 31, 2017 at 3:01 pm
  
  Thanks Dahlia
  
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Lynn Love

February 2, 2017 at 11:43 am

Well, they say guns don’t kill people, people kill people. But it’s a darned sight harder to kill people if you don’t have a loaded weapon in your hand. Sad, true and well written, Iain. I could see it being something longer – a police procedural in a community that’s lost, on the brink of chaos

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  February 2, 2017 at 11:52 am
  
  Thanks Lynn, like others have said, it’s difficult from the outside to understand the logic in not making guns harder to get…
  
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  1. Lynn Love
    
    February 2, 2017 at 6:04 pm
    
    It is, but in a society whose constitution is built on the right to bear arms, with a pioneer, fighting spirit woven into the fabric of their national psyche … It’s going to take a long time to shake those traditions
    
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