Iain Kelly

Fiction Writing

SNAKE BITE

‘Put your hand in.’

Charlie hesitated and looked into the dark hole in the rock.

What was the worst that could happen? It’s just a rock, he told himself.

Legend said it was the skull of an old dinosaur. Another said medieval warriors proved their strength by striking it with their sword. Others believed it was linked to witchcraft, a dark portal to a world of spirits and ghouls.

‘Prove you’re not scared.’

Charlie took a deep breath and shoved his hand into the black crater.

The disturbed adder struck the soft flesh and buried its fangs into the invading arm.

ceayr2

Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

Iain Kelly

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96 responses to “SNAKE BITE”

  1. neilmacdon Avatar
    neilmacdon

    You might want to change the title, which kind of gives it away

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      No thanks Neil, I’m good with it.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  2. gahlearner Avatar
    gahlearner

    Ouch, poor Charlie, I hope his friend knows what to do. I love the voice, the kids’ scare and dare stories are great.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Gabi, glad you liked it.

      Like

      Reply
  3. ceayr Avatar
    ceayr

    Nicely done, as always, but Neil has a point.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks CE.

      Like

      Reply
  4. Alexis Chateau Avatar
    Alexis Chateau

    Serves Charlie right! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Curiosity killed the cat.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  5. Jane Dougherty Avatar
    Jane Dougherty

    There’s usually some truth in old stories…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      …and they should be listened to. Thanks Jane.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Jane Dougherty Avatar
        Jane Dougherty

        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Moon Avatar
    Moon

    How sad for Charlie! Great story, Iain. I especially liked the many legends around the rock 🙂

    Like

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Moon, glad you liked it.

      Like

      Reply
  7. Martin Cororan Avatar
    Martin Cororan

    How bout “I’ve Adder Idea…”

    …Then again, maybe not!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Ha, thanks Martin, I’ll stick with the one I’ve got for now!

      Like

      Reply
  8. Christine Goodnough Avatar
    Christine Goodnough

    Good-bye, Charlie. The next question: did the water know? I rather think not but he’ll have to face the music. ☹

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I hope it wasn’t deliberate, but then some people are cruel…

      Like

      Reply
    2. Christine Goodnough Avatar
      Christine Goodnough

      Oh, brain cell fusion — or auto-correct? What was I trying to say? The other.
      This sounds like something a brother would do. One man recalled how, in their youth, his brother dared him to eat a spider sandwich.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Iain Kelly Avatar
        Iain Kelly

        I figured it was a typo 😉

        Like

  9. shehannemoore Avatar
    shehannemoore

    Well, he sure won’t do that again.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Even if he gets the chance too lol 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. shehannemoore Avatar
        shehannemoore

        Yep. In one Iain. in one x

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Clare Hempstead Avatar
    Clare Hempstead

    The things kids do so they don’t lose face!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  11. J Hardy Carroll Avatar
    J Hardy Carroll

    Good story. You have a typo… possessive its never has an apostrophe. 😉

    Like

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  12. James Avatar
    James

    Like the others, I deffo saw that coming.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Not every story needs to have a surprising twist at the end.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  13. Rowena Avatar
    Rowena

    You call that a snake bite? You’re talking to an Australian here.
    Eastern brown snake? Now, that’s a snake. (You might recall a scene from “Crocodile Dundee”.
    My husband is almost levitating out of his chair as he reads out Australian snake bite stats and also roars with laughter when he reads that bees, ticks, and other arthropods were responsible for the same number of deaths in Australia as snakes.
    I really enjoyed your story and it felt very real.
    xx Rowena

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      That and the spiders – why I’ll probably never emigrate to Australia! Adders are the only venomous snakes in the UK, and are usually only in the south of England, so I should be safe! Thanks Rowena – I will look at the link on snake bites through my fingers….!

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
      1. Rowena Avatar
        Rowena

        My husband takes great delight in scaring tourists and foreignors about our wildlife. I must admit, I do it to and it is a bit of an Australian past time. My husband grew up on a farm in Tasmania and he does have quite a few impressive snake and wildlife stories. I’ve had it easy.

        Liked by 2 people

  14. Rowena Avatar
    Rowena

    Here’s a link to a great snake bite page: http://www.anaesthesia.med.usyd.edu.au/resources/venom/snakebite.html
    xx Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  15. pennygadd51 Avatar
    pennygadd51

    Very true to life, both the dare and its consequence. As you’ve opted to avoid a twist by choosing the title ‘Snake Bite’, the storyline and/or the description have to do the work. I think they do, and rather well! Nice one, Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Penny, very much appreciated.

      Like

      Reply
  16. Lynn Love Avatar
    Lynn Love

    Ah, the tragedy of showing off in front of your friends. How many young people have come a cropper doing that? Well told tale, Iain. Let’s hope they’re close to somewhere with some anti-venom.

    Like

    Reply
  17. Joy Pixley Avatar
    Joy Pixley

    The worst that can happen is often the thing you didn’t even think about in your calculations. Maybe he’ll think twice (er, three times? more times?) before going along with the next dare.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Certainly learned his lesson – this would also be my worst nightmare!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Joy Pixley Avatar
        Joy Pixley

        It would be pretty scary, indeed!

        Liked by 1 person

  18. michael1148humphris Avatar
    michael1148humphris

    I grew up around adders; as children we were encouraged to hunt them! So your story title works for me

    Like

    Reply
  19. granonine Avatar
    granonine

    My worst nightmare!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Mine too!

      Like

      Reply
  20. scr4pl80 Avatar
    scr4pl80

    Umm thanks anyway. You can call me scaredy cat all you like 🙂

    Like

    Reply
  21. Keith's Ramblings Avatar
    Keith’s Ramblings

    You’ve named your piece after one of my favourite tipples. Nowt wrong with that! Fangs for a great little tale.

    Click to read my FFfAW

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Ha, I can picture you enjoying a Snake Bite while you read the Friday Fictioneers stories Keith!

      Like

      Reply
  22. Dale Avatar
    Dale

    Boys are so fearlessly stupid…
    But we are not surprised that’s what happens, thanks to your title 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      😉 Thanks Dale

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  23. Alicia Jamtaas Avatar
    Alicia Jamtaas

    Seems we both went the snake-route today! I think my title also gives the story away! A well. I think your story is grand!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Alicia, funny that we both went that way. Clearly this rock looks like somewhere a snake would enjoy!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  24. Nan Falkner Avatar
    Nan Falkner

    Charlie is a “sucker” – I think he’s going to find out what is the worst thing that can happen now!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Yes, a harsh lesson, but if he survives hopefully he is wiser.

      Like

      Reply
  25. justjoyfulness Avatar
    justjoyfulness

    Dang fang! I hope he got medical attention pretty soon. Nice one Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I’m hoping the darer redeemed themselves by getting help. Thank you.

      Like

      Reply
  26. plaridel Avatar
    plaridel

    great story. when i was a kid, i put my hand into a hole on the ground just for curiosity’s sake. as soon as i felt something moved, i pulled it off. thanks goodness, i survived leaving me to wonder what it could have been. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Yikes – whatever it was probably got as much as a shock as you did 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  27. Alice Audrey Avatar
    Alice Audrey

    The one thing they should have worried about wasn’t even on their list. What a sad way to end.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      There are always hidden dangers

      Like

      Reply
  28. draliman Avatar
    draliman

    Oh crumbs, made me think of Peter Duncan in Flash Gordon!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Ha, you’re right, I had forgotten that – and I think Timothy Dalton has to chop his hand off. Classic stuff.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  29. beautyswot Avatar
    beautyswot

    no way in hell would I do that! ouch!! poor boy

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I’m with you there.

      Like

      Reply
  30. wmqcolby Avatar
    wmqcolby

    Perfect ending, Iain! You didn’t go the monster route. I grew up in the woods, so snakes and I leave each other alone. You learn respect for the great outdoors. Super story-telling!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you, maybe if I had been around more snakes I wouldn’t fear them so much!

      Like

      Reply
      1. wmqcolby Avatar
        wmqcolby

        Probably. I hate rats, though. Maybe that’s why I like snakes. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  31. Liz Young Avatar
    Liz Young

    Saw that coming but it still made me shiver.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Liz

      Like

      Reply
  32. rochellewisoff Avatar
    rochellewisoff

    Dear Iain,

    Dare I say that your ending bites? 😉 Not every story needs to have a surprise ending. Good one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Or does the ending suck? Thanks Rochelle 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  33. Bernadette Braganza Avatar
    Bernadette Braganza

    Ouch, I guess that will teach him to never put his hand in rocks and crevices.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      He will have learned his lesson. Thanks for reading.

      Like

      Reply
  34. FabricatingFiction Avatar
    FabricatingFiction

    Oh no! The title didn’t give it away for me. I thought it was what they imagined could happen, not what did.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Louise, sometimes our worst fears are realised!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  35. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover Avatar
    Life Lessons of a Dog Lover

    Nice take on the prompt. Sometimes you have to wonder how any kids survive childhood.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you

      Like

      Reply
  36. Kalpana Solsi Avatar
    Kalpana Solsi

    In India there are many species of snakes but most of them are non-poisonous. snakes love to coil up in dark places and poor Charlie invaded
    the snake’s den and was at the receiving end.
    http://ideasolsi65.blogspot.in/2017/08/re-invent.html

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  37. neeltheauthor Avatar
    neeltheauthor

    No more dares for Charlie, dare i say. Superb story telling, Lian.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Neel

      Like

      Reply
  38. rgayer55 Avatar
    rgayer55

    I never was big on dares. Especially, the double-dog dare variety. I’m even more scared of snakes. Especially the disturbed variety. Perhaps the snake should go to counseling.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      He now has PTSD to add to his problems.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  39. Sandi Avatar
    Sandi

    That’s the same boy that stuck his tongue to the frozen pole during winter time.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Haha, probably is!

      Like

      Reply
  40. Laurie Bell Avatar
    Laurie Bell

    Oh no!! Curiousity can be dangerous. I hope he gets help in time

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Laurie, I think he’ll survive, but steer clear of any snakes and dark places for a long time…

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  41. Susan Avatar
    Susan

    I was concerned when you said ours were ‘alike’. I freaked when i saw we had the same character name. I swear, i had not read yours before i wrote mine, so either we have the same muse or just think alike. At least my snake was different. Anyway, great story as always 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Ha, great minds, Susan 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  42. HonieBriggs Avatar
    HonieBriggs

    Charlie talked himself right into a bad move – as so often happens when we believe we have something to prove.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Honie

      Like

      Reply
  43. magarisa Avatar
    magarisa

    Ha! This reminds me of Marty McFly willing to do anything at all at the taunt ‘what are you, chicken?’ Enjoyed the story.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Love those films!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. magarisa Avatar
        magarisa

        Me too!

        Liked by 1 person

  44. The Reclining Gentleman Avatar
    The Reclining Gentleman

    I loved the rumours and legends around the rock, maybe a bite like this is how some of them started…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I’m sure Charlie will tell a few different versions of his story – if he survives…

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  45. subroto Avatar
    subroto

    Are adders are the only subtracters in UK?
    Growing up in remote army cantonments in India I have plenty of memories. Like discovering a cobra under the bed. Cobras, vipers, pythons, kraits I’ve seen them all. And then I moved to Australia, sigh…..

    Nice story though, a very believable scenario.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      In the UK we have non-venomous snakes – grass and corn snakes, but Adders are the only dangerous ones, yes – thankfully!

      Like

      Reply
  46. lingeringvisions by Dawn Avatar
    lingeringvisions by Dawn

    He’ll never have to “prove” it again.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      If he even gets another chance…

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  47. creatingahome Avatar
    creatingahome

    Ouch!
    Probably why I never give into dares positive or negative.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Quite right 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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