IAIN KELLY

MARKSMANSHIP

The first one was for the mother-in-law. Ten years of interference and nagging. I felt the anger start to build. I was never good enough for her daughter. Well, now she had what she wanted. Harley was gone. I took a deep breath. I squeezed the trigger. 200 yards away the china tea cup exploded into pieces.

I moved onto the next cup. The best friend. Every time there was an argument Harley would run to her. Then I would get Samantha screaming down the phone at me, or hammering at the door, threatening to show me what a weak man I was. The cup disappeared in a puff of small particles.

The last cup was for Harley herself. She was coming over now to collect the last of her things. She wouldn’t get her precious tea set. Ten years worth of shared existence. Now, nothing. Dammit, I could feel the tears welling up again. I squeezed the trigger. The bullet flew wide. The cup remained untouched. I heard the windscreen shatter, the screech of tyres and then the crunch of metal hitting the wooden fence.


13-dawn-miller-27-august-2017
Copyright Dawn Miller

Written as part of Sunday Photo Fiction. Write a story of around 200 words based on the photo prompt given (above). Hosted by Al Forbes. For more details visit HERE.

To read more stories based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

47 responses to “MARKSMANSHIP”

  1. Reena Saxena Avatar

    Brilliant! The resentment is so palpable.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Reena

      Liked by 1 person

  2. J.A. Prentice Avatar

    Great story. I could really feel the anger – and the one mention of welling tears gives another dimension to the narrator as well.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Glad you picked up on that, I wanted to leave a little sign that he was more than just a horrible husband, that he was a victim too.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. weejars Avatar

    Woah! Packs a punch! Great twist at the end

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Sarah, glad you liked it.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. authorchrisbrown Avatar

    Superb. Totally relatable.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Chris – hope you haven’t got a rifle lying about! 🙂

      Like

      1. authorchrisbrown Avatar

        Tend to favour the bow personally

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Sunday Fiction Avatar

    Whoops. I think he had better get rid of the gun before questions are asked. Good story Iain.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks, maybe he’ll have time to get away before anyone finds the bullet amongst the wreckage!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Kalpana Solsi Avatar

    Too much interference in life made him to pick up the gun.Good story.

    https://ideasolsi65.blogspot.in/2017/08/sunday-photo-fiction-august-27th-thanks.html

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Susan Avatar

    Divorce proceedings should require automatic anger management counseling. Nicely done.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Jennie Avatar

    Really good!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Jennie!

      Like

  9. ceayr Avatar

    Good shot!
    And good story, nicely crafted

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you CE

      Like

  10. Liz Husebye Hartmann Avatar

    Holy crap. That was scary…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Some people just reach breaking point!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Liz Husebye Hartmann Avatar

        I liked your comment–too true–but having been at the receiving end, it’s more like yeah, some people don’t deal well with “No.”

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Iain Kelly Avatar

        Too true indeed.

        Like

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Maggie

      Liked by 1 person

  11. James Avatar

    Oops. He really did get Harley. Welcome to prison.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Unless a good lawyer can argue it was accidental…

      Like

  12. mywritersvoice Avatar

    Wow. Great twist at the end.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. scr4pl80 Avatar

    Wow. Hope they can prove “accidental” death. Great ending.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I can see the lawyer planning his defence already.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Keith's Ramblings Avatar

    Iain, not only is this a great read, it’s simply brilliant! I’m in awe.
    Click to visit Keith’s Ramblings

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Keith, too kind.

      Like

  15. michael1148humphris Avatar
    michael1148humphris

    O dear, them tears got in the way.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Yes, just something in his eye!

      Like

  16. neeltheauthor Avatar

    Simply brilliant. Liked the ‘tears’ component too. Good writing, Kelly.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
  17. hombrehompson Avatar

    Brilliant ending.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Dahlia Avatar

    Third time lucky! His resentment and angst was palpable – very well done 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you, glad you liked it.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Sascha Darlington Avatar

    Proving once again: timing is everything!
    I loved this. The narrator’s emotions are palpable and realistic. The little revenge of her not getting her tea set on the mark. And the the unexpected, but clever ending. I presume the former owner of the tea set was driving.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I think it’s safe to say it was her! Thanks Sascha

      Liked by 1 person

  20. lingeringvisions by Dawn Avatar

    I love what you did with this prompt!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Dawn 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  21. athling2001 Avatar

    Poor guy, but then we are only ‘seeing’ his side. I thought he might be the bad guy until the tears, showing the depth of his pain. Well done. Let’s hope he didn’t shoot her by mistake!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks, I included that line to hint at a bit of sympathy for him, glad that came across.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. athling2001 Avatar

        Good job!

        Liked by 1 person

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