Five hours she had been stuck on the orbital road. They had barely moved an inch while the snow continued to fall.
The glowing streetlights fought off the encroaching darkness, the car’s heater battled the creeping cold and the radio staved off the loneliness.
Some had abandoned their cars and started walking. She had too far to go. Best to sit it out.
The feeling of helplessness circled her. In a car going nowhere, unable to get off a road that always brought her back to where she started.
If she ever got home she had big decisions to make.
Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).
To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.
Iain Kelly 
96 responses to “ORBITAL”
I like the philosophy in this
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Thanks Neil.
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Ooh such an intriguing end Iain.
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Thank you Louise 🙂
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Fine, be all enigmatic!
…And apt given current conditions
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Thanks Martin, I wonder if anyone stuck on the roads this past week has made any life changing decisions.
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I wonder about her and the big decisions and when she will be able to make it back or if at all.
Great story, Iain.
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Thank you Moon.
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I’ve always felt that cars provide exactly the right environment for sorting through your issues. Preferably when they’re stationary, of course.
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They do provide a lot of thinking time, especially on the daily commute.
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A metaphor of her life? Good writing,Iain.
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Absolutely. Thank you.
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Hmm! given that she’s decided to stay in a comfortable place instead of getting out and facing the rough conditions, I think she won’t be making a great decision even after reaching home. Nice last line, Iain.
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Thank you, it does seem like she has a habit of putting off difficult decisions.
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You described the experience of sitting in a long traffic jam very well. Love the last line – you have left us all in suspense!
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Thank you so much Clare.
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Full of atmosphere, nicely done.
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Thank you so much
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Dear Iain,
There’s so much in this piece. I don’t know what the decisions might be but I feel the weight of them. Good one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you Rochelle
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I am curious to know about her big decisions..
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Thank you, perhaps I will expand on it one day.
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Please do and let me know..so that I do not miss out
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Life as an orbital road. This tale will come back to me next time I’m stuck on the bloody M25
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I hope you don’t get stuck there in this weather Keith!
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Practically speaking, after five hours, my bladder would be begging for mercy.
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😀
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I’m not going into details as to how she may have relieved herself in the intervening time…
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My first thought too
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A very well written glimpse into her reality and shadow of the deeper picture. Hopefully she can sort out where her life should be going. And, as James says, make it to the loo in time. 🙂
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Ha, thank you Christine! 🙂
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At first I thought “snowbound on a roundabout”, but then you made that elegant switch up to it being about being life-stranded. Well done!
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Thank you Liz, I wanted to give it a bit more depth than just being stuck in the snow. Glad it came across.
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Absolutely! Point driven on home, like with snow tires on an SUV. Perfect!
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But first, a bath! Nice story.
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Absolutely! Thanks.
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You’ve given us a nice metaphor for a life going nowhere. I admire the way you use the rhythm of the words in this story, to give a stop-start feeling, like her progress in the car.
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Thank you Penny, much appreciated.
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You’ve spun quite a mystery here Iain. Wondering now if she’s on a real road at all or on a metaphysical one, an inner journey through her own subconscious. If that’s the case, what has happened to the other travellers? Have they reached some decision or left the ‘road’ of life. Nice writing
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I like your reading of it Lynn – adds more depth than I had initially intended! 🙂
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It’s a lovely piece of writing for that – could be a straightforward journey, could be something so much darker
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Oh, I liked that! Well written and very thought provoking.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thank you Susan.
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Wonderful descriptive detail. It leads you wanting to know what will happen next. Excellent job.
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Thank you so much Lisa 🙂
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You’re welcome. 🙂
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She’s obviously not in a good place, both literally and figuratively. Great take on the prompt!
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Thank you so much.
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in this case, being stuck in traffic could well be a blessing in disguise. it leaves room for serious thinking.
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Thank you, yes good ‘alone’ time.
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In a car going nowhere, unable to get off a road that always brought her back to where she started Wow! I love this line for what it says and what it implies. Nice work.
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Thank you so much Alicia 🙂
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It used to be that no one commuted. Ever. Either they made do, bought locally, or waited for the traveling merchants. They didn’t have electricity, or combustion engines. No radio, no car, no paved roads, no orbital anything. A simple life, but also a short one.
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And not much chance of escaping the life they were born into. Thanks Alice.
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I like how you used being stuck on the road in a snow storm as a metaphor for other ways she’s stuck in her life — having been stuck in traffic before (snow back home, just normal Los Angeles traffic here in CA), I can relate to that helpless feeling!
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It can sometimes be quite a traumatic experience, and certainly makes one think. Thank you Joy.
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I have had “big decisions” to make also. Always the tough ones.
Mine: https://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2017/12/14/lighting-the-way/
Scott
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She appears to be an escapist, content to stay inside in the warmth rather than venture boldly out and explore the unexplored. But that’s who she is, so her big decision would also be escapist…and right for her, for that’s who she is.
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Interesting thoughts. Thank you 🙂
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Loved how the story flowed. Hope she is able to make the right decision.
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Thank you.
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Everything seems to Havre conspired against her to make her stay. Hope she will do it!
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I leave it up to you to decide.
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Very nice metaphor for life.
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Thank you
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Stranded. A great time to sort one’s self out.
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Absolutely. Thanks Bryan.
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Sometimes a spell of enforced idleness is a good thing.
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Absolutely, I would kill for a few minutes on my own!
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I liked your use of words; they played well with the prompt. I agree with many others, the quiet of driving is a good time to reflect on things. I just hope she had a full tank of gas to start with.
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Thanks Susan – I didn’t have enough words to get into the petrol situation!
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Nice story, an apt metaphor for a life heading to nowhere town. As usual, great writing Kelly.
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Thank you Neel.
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Very well told… time to think
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Thank you Laurie 🙂
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I have a good visual of her going around in circles indefinitely. I guess she’ll eventually run out of petrol – not a nice thought in those circumstances but perhaps she’ll have had enough time to think before that happens.
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Thanks Irene, let’s hope things become clear before she’s out of petrol!
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Great story, forced to take the time because she’s stuck in bad weather to make a decision, let’s hope it’s the right one.
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Thank you Sally.
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Possibly the long wait may change her perspective and decision 🙂 Nicely conceived Iain
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I can imagine that the decisions mature when she sits there waiting too.
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Thanks Bjorn
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This route sounds like a metaphor for her life. I hope she works out a plan while sitting there. Good writing, Iain. —- Suzanne
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Thanks Suzanne
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Liked the strong sense of her mood – stuckness at every level. Good one.
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Thank you.
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Great stuff Iain, there’s no end to circle but you have to break out of it eventually.
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Thank you Michael.
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wow, this was intense, for some reason this girl reminded me of… me.. I’m not sure that’s a good thing XD but great piece! I liked it.
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Thank you so much. I hope you’re not stuck in too much traffic 🙂
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Any decision made after this journey might well be the wrong one. You sum up despondency so well in this – I’m avoiding all future snowstorms.
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Very true, her feeling of being stuck may be exaggerated by her situation.
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Yup, being in a situation like that, if nothing else gives you plenty of time to think.
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Valuable time well spent. Thanks Dawn.
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Time to think… a whole world can change with this sort of timeout.
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Thanks Vivian – we don’t value time like this enough.
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