ORBITAL

Five hours she had been stuck on the orbital road. They had barely moved an inch while the snow continued to fall.

The glowing streetlights fought off the encroaching darkness, the car’s heater battled the creeping cold and the radio staved off the loneliness.

Some had abandoned their cars and started walking. She had too far to go. Best to sit it out.

The feeling of helplessness circled her. In a car going nowhere, unable to get off a road that always brought her back to where she started.

If she ever got home she had big decisions to make.

Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

96 responses to “ORBITAL”

neilmacdon

13/12/2017

I like the philosophy in this

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  Thanks Neil.
  
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Fabricating Fiction/Louise Jensen

13/12/2017

Ooh such an intriguing end Iain.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  Thank you Louise 🙂
  
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Martin Cororan

13/12/2017

Fine, be all enigmatic!

…And apt given current conditions

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  Thanks Martin, I wonder if anyone stuck on the roads this past week has made any life changing decisions.
  
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Moon

13/12/2017

I wonder about her and the big decisions and when she will be able to make it back or if at all.
Great story, Iain.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  Thank you Moon.
  
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Sandra

13/12/2017

I’ve always felt that cars provide exactly the right environment for sorting through your issues. Preferably when they’re stationary, of course.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  They do provide a lot of thinking time, especially on the daily commute.
  
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granonine

13/12/2017

A metaphor of her life? Good writing,Iain.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  Absolutely. Thank you.
  
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Varad

13/12/2017

Hmm! given that she’s decided to stay in a comfortable place instead of getting out and facing the rough conditions, I think she won’t be making a great decision even after reaching home. Nice last line, Iain.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  Thank you, it does seem like she has a habit of putting off difficult decisions.
  
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Clare Hempstead

13/12/2017

You described the experience of sitting in a long traffic jam very well. Love the last line – you have left us all in suspense!

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  Thank you so much Clare.
  
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Snow’s Fissures and Fractures

13/12/2017

Full of atmosphere, nicely done.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  Thank you so much
  
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rochellewisoff

13/12/2017

Dear Iain,

There’s so much in this piece. I don’t know what the decisions might be but I feel the weight of them. Good one.

Shalom,

Rochelle

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  Thank you Rochelle
  
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Balaka

13/12/2017

I am curious to know about her big decisions..

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  Thank you, perhaps I will expand on it one day.
  
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  1. Balaka
    
    14/12/2017
    
    Please do and let me know..so that I do not miss out
    
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Keith’s Ramblings

13/12/2017

Life as an orbital road. This tale will come back to me next time I’m stuck on the bloody M25

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  I hope you don’t get stuck there in this weather Keith!
  
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James

13/12/2017

Practically speaking, after five hours, my bladder would be begging for mercy.

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1. Liz H
  
  13/12/2017
  
  😀
  
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2. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  I’m not going into details as to how she may have relieved herself in the intervening time…
  
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3. Susan
  
  14/12/2017
  
  My first thought too
  
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Christine Goodnough

13/12/2017

A very well written glimpse into her reality and shadow of the deeper picture. Hopefully she can sort out where her life should be going. And, as James says, make it to the loo in time. 🙂

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  Ha, thank you Christine! 🙂
  
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Liz H

13/12/2017

At first I thought “snowbound on a roundabout”, but then you made that elegant switch up to it being about being life-stranded. Well done!

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  Thank you Liz, I wanted to give it a bit more depth than just being stuck in the snow. Glad it came across.
  
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  1. Liz H
    
    13/12/2017
    
    Absolutely! Point driven on home, like with snow tires on an SUV. Perfect!
    
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J Hardy Carroll

13/12/2017

But first, a bath! Nice story.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  Absolutely! Thanks.
  
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pennygadd51

13/12/2017

You’ve given us a nice metaphor for a life going nowhere. I admire the way you use the rhythm of the words in this story, to give a stop-start feeling, like her progress in the car.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  Thank you Penny, much appreciated.
  
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Lynn Love

13/12/2017

You’ve spun quite a mystery here Iain. Wondering now if she’s on a real road at all or on a metaphysical one, an inner journey through her own subconscious. If that’s the case, what has happened to the other travellers? Have they reached some decision or left the ‘road’ of life. Nice writing

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  I like your reading of it Lynn – adds more depth than I had initially intended! 🙂
  
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  1. Lynn Love
    
    13/12/2017
    
    It’s a lovely piece of writing for that – could be a straightforward journey, could be something so much darker
    
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Susan A Eames

13/12/2017

Oh, I liked that! Well written and very thought provoking.

Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  Thank you Susan.
  
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lisarey1990

13/12/2017

Wonderful descriptive detail. It leads you wanting to know what will happen next. Excellent job.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  Thank you so much Lisa 🙂
  
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  1. lisarey1990
    
    13/12/2017
    
    You’re welcome. 🙂
    
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magarisa

13/12/2017

She’s obviously not in a good place, both literally and figuratively. Great take on the prompt!

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  Thank you so much.
  
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plaridel

13/12/2017

in this case, being stuck in traffic could well be a blessing in disguise. it leaves room for serious thinking.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  Thank you, yes good ‘alone’ time.
  
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Alicia Jamtaas

13/12/2017

In a car going nowhere, unable to get off a road that always brought her back to where she started Wow! I love this line for what it says and what it implies. Nice work.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  13/12/2017
  
  Thank you so much Alicia 🙂
  
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Alice Audrey

14/12/2017

It used to be that no one commuted. Ever. Either they made do, bought locally, or waited for the traveling merchants. They didn’t have electricity, or combustion engines. No radio, no car, no paved roads, no orbital anything. A simple life, but also a short one.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  14/12/2017
  
  And not much chance of escaping the life they were born into. Thanks Alice.
  
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Joy Pixley

14/12/2017

I like how you used being stuck on the road in a snow storm as a metaphor for other ways she’s stuck in her life — having been stuck in traffic before (snow back home, just normal Los Angeles traffic here in CA), I can relate to that helpless feeling!

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  14/12/2017
  
  It can sometimes be quite a traumatic experience, and certainly makes one think. Thank you Joy.
  
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kindredspirit23

14/12/2017

I have had “big decisions” to make also. Always the tough ones.
Mine: https://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2017/12/14/lighting-the-way/
Scott

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anuragbakhshi

14/12/2017

She appears to be an escapist, content to stay inside in the warmth rather than venture boldly out and explore the unexplored. But that’s who she is, so her big decision would also be escapist…and right for her, for that’s who she is.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  14/12/2017
  
  Interesting thoughts. Thank you 🙂
  
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An Introverted blogger

14/12/2017

Loved how the story flowed. Hope she is able to make the right decision.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  14/12/2017
  
  Thank you.
  
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spicedmullings

14/12/2017

Everything seems to Havre conspired against her to make her stay. Hope she will do it!

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  14/12/2017
  
  I leave it up to you to decide.
  
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draliman

14/12/2017

Very nice metaphor for life.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  14/12/2017
  
  Thank you
  
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bbryanthomas

14/12/2017

Stranded. A great time to sort one’s self out.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  14/12/2017
  
  Absolutely. Thanks Bryan.
  
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Liz Young

14/12/2017

Sometimes a spell of enforced idleness is a good thing.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  14/12/2017
  
  Absolutely, I would kill for a few minutes on my own!
  
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Susan

14/12/2017

I liked your use of words; they played well with the prompt. I agree with many others, the quiet of driving is a good time to reflect on things. I just hope she had a full tank of gas to start with.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  14/12/2017
  
  Thanks Susan – I didn’t have enough words to get into the petrol situation!
  
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neeltheauthor- author of WHEN LIFE THROWS THOSE CURVE BALLS

15/12/2017

Nice story, an apt metaphor for a life heading to nowhere town. As usual, great writing Kelly.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  15/12/2017
  
  Thank you Neel.
  
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Laurie Bell

15/12/2017

Very well told… time to think

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  15/12/2017
  
  Thank you Laurie 🙂
  
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Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist

15/12/2017

I have a good visual of her going around in circles indefinitely. I guess she’ll eventually run out of petrol – not a nice thought in those circumstances but perhaps she’ll have had enough time to think before that happens.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  15/12/2017
  
  Thanks Irene, let’s hope things become clear before she’s out of petrol!
  
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Sally

15/12/2017

Great story, forced to take the time because she’s stuck in bad weather to make a decision, let’s hope it’s the right one.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  15/12/2017
  
  Thank you Sally.
  
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Dahlia

16/12/2017

Possibly the long wait may change her perspective and decision 🙂 Nicely conceived Iain

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Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

16/12/2017

I can imagine that the decisions mature when she sits there waiting too.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  18/12/2017
  
  Thanks Bjorn
  
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patriciaruthsusan

17/12/2017

This route sounds like a metaphor for her life. I hope she works out a plan while sitting there. Good writing, Iain. —- Suzanne

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  18/12/2017
  
  Thanks Suzanne
  
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Woman walking Max

17/12/2017

Liked the strong sense of her mood – stuckness at every level. Good one.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  18/12/2017
  
  Thank you.
  
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michaelwynnauthor

17/12/2017

Great stuff Iain, there’s no end to circle but you have to break out of it eventually.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  18/12/2017
  
  Thank you Michael.
  
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TheDiaryOfSin

18/12/2017

wow, this was intense, for some reason this girl reminded me of… me.. I’m not sure that’s a good thing XD but great piece! I liked it.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  18/12/2017
  
  Thank you so much. I hope you’re not stuck in too much traffic 🙂
  
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Sarah Ann

18/12/2017

Any decision made after this journey might well be the wrong one. You sum up despondency so well in this – I’m avoiding all future snowstorms.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  19/12/2017
  
  Very true, her feeling of being stuck may be exaggerated by her situation.
  
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Dawn M. Miller

19/12/2017

Yup, being in a situation like that, if nothing else gives you plenty of time to think.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  19/12/2017
  
  Valuable time well spent. Thanks Dawn.
  
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Vivian Zems

19/12/2017

Time to think… a whole world can change with this sort of timeout.

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1. Iain Kelly
  
  19/12/2017
  
  Thanks Vivian – we don’t value time like this enough.
  
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