Iain Kelly

Fiction Writing

ORBITAL

Five hours she had been stuck on the orbital road. They had barely moved an inch while the snow continued to fall.

The glowing streetlights fought off the encroaching darkness, the car’s heater battled the creeping cold and the radio staved off the loneliness.

Some had abandoned their cars and started walking. She had too far to go. Best to sit it out.

The feeling of helplessness circled her. In a car going nowhere, unable to get off a road that always brought her back to where she started.

If she ever got home she had big decisions to make.

lampost-s-pier-sandra-crook
Copyright Sandra Crook

Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

Iain Kelly

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96 responses to “ORBITAL”

  1. neilmacdon Avatar
    neilmacdon

    I like the philosophy in this

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Neil.

      Like

      Reply
  2. Fabricating Fiction/Louise Jensen Avatar
    Fabricating Fiction/Louise Jensen

    Ooh such an intriguing end Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Louise 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  3. Martin Cororan Avatar
    Martin Cororan

    Fine, be all enigmatic!

    …And apt given current conditions

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Martin, I wonder if anyone stuck on the roads this past week has made any life changing decisions.

      Like

      Reply
  4. Moon Avatar
    Moon

    I wonder about her and the big decisions and when she will be able to make it back or if at all.
    Great story, Iain.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Moon.

      Like

      Reply
  5. Sandra Avatar
    Sandra

    I’ve always felt that cars provide exactly the right environment for sorting through your issues. Preferably when they’re stationary, of course.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      They do provide a lot of thinking time, especially on the daily commute.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  6. granonine Avatar
    granonine

    A metaphor of her life? Good writing,Iain.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Absolutely. Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  7. Varad Avatar
    Varad

    Hmm! given that she’s decided to stay in a comfortable place instead of getting out and facing the rough conditions, I think she won’t be making a great decision even after reaching home. Nice last line, Iain.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you, it does seem like she has a habit of putting off difficult decisions.

      Like

      Reply
  8. Clare Hempstead Avatar
    Clare Hempstead

    You described the experience of sitting in a long traffic jam very well. Love the last line – you have left us all in suspense!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you so much Clare.

      Like

      Reply
  9. Snow's Fissures and Fractures Avatar
    Snow’s Fissures and Fractures

    Full of atmosphere, nicely done.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you so much

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  10. rochellewisoff Avatar
    rochellewisoff

    Dear Iain,

    There’s so much in this piece. I don’t know what the decisions might be but I feel the weight of them. Good one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Rochelle

      Like

      Reply
  11. Balaka Avatar
    Balaka

    I am curious to know about her big decisions..

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you, perhaps I will expand on it one day.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Balaka Avatar
        Balaka

        Please do and let me know..so that I do not miss out

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Keith's Ramblings Avatar
    Keith’s Ramblings

    Life as an orbital road. This tale will come back to me next time I’m stuck on the bloody M25

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I hope you don’t get stuck there in this weather Keith!

      Like

      Reply
  13. James Avatar
    James

    Practically speaking, after five hours, my bladder would be begging for mercy.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Liz H Avatar
      Liz H

      😀

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
    2. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I’m not going into details as to how she may have relieved herself in the intervening time…

      Like

      Reply
    3. Susan Avatar
      Susan

      My first thought too

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
  14. Christine Goodnough Avatar
    Christine Goodnough

    A very well written glimpse into her reality and shadow of the deeper picture. Hopefully she can sort out where her life should be going. And, as James says, make it to the loo in time. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Ha, thank you Christine! 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  15. Liz H Avatar
    Liz H

    At first I thought “snowbound on a roundabout”, but then you made that elegant switch up to it being about being life-stranded. Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Liz, I wanted to give it a bit more depth than just being stuck in the snow. Glad it came across.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Liz H Avatar
        Liz H

        Absolutely! Point driven on home, like with snow tires on an SUV. Perfect!

        Liked by 1 person

  16. J Hardy Carroll Avatar
    J Hardy Carroll

    But first, a bath! Nice story.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Absolutely! Thanks.

      Like

      Reply
  17. pennygadd51 Avatar
    pennygadd51

    You’ve given us a nice metaphor for a life going nowhere. I admire the way you use the rhythm of the words in this story, to give a stop-start feeling, like her progress in the car.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Penny, much appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  18. Lynn Love Avatar
    Lynn Love

    You’ve spun quite a mystery here Iain. Wondering now if she’s on a real road at all or on a metaphysical one, an inner journey through her own subconscious. If that’s the case, what has happened to the other travellers? Have they reached some decision or left the ‘road’ of life. Nice writing

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I like your reading of it Lynn – adds more depth than I had initially intended! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Lynn Love Avatar
        Lynn Love

        It’s a lovely piece of writing for that – could be a straightforward journey, could be something so much darker

        Liked by 1 person

  19. Susan A Eames Avatar
    Susan A Eames

    Oh, I liked that! Well written and very thought provoking.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Susan.

      Like

      Reply
  20. lisarey1990 Avatar
    lisarey1990

    Wonderful descriptive detail. It leads you wanting to know what will happen next. Excellent job.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you so much Lisa 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. lisarey1990 Avatar
        lisarey1990

        You’re welcome. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  21. magarisa Avatar
    magarisa

    She’s obviously not in a good place, both literally and figuratively. Great take on the prompt!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you so much.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  22. plaridel Avatar
    plaridel

    in this case, being stuck in traffic could well be a blessing in disguise. it leaves room for serious thinking.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you, yes good ‘alone’ time.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  23. Alicia Jamtaas Avatar
    Alicia Jamtaas

    In a car going nowhere, unable to get off a road that always brought her back to where she started Wow! I love this line for what it says and what it implies. Nice work.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you so much Alicia 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  24. Alice Audrey Avatar
    Alice Audrey

    It used to be that no one commuted. Ever. Either they made do, bought locally, or waited for the traveling merchants. They didn’t have electricity, or combustion engines. No radio, no car, no paved roads, no orbital anything. A simple life, but also a short one.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      And not much chance of escaping the life they were born into. Thanks Alice.

      Like

      Reply
  25. Joy Pixley Avatar
    Joy Pixley

    I like how you used being stuck on the road in a snow storm as a metaphor for other ways she’s stuck in her life — having been stuck in traffic before (snow back home, just normal Los Angeles traffic here in CA), I can relate to that helpless feeling!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      It can sometimes be quite a traumatic experience, and certainly makes one think. Thank you Joy.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  26. kindredspirit23 Avatar
    kindredspirit23

    I have had “big decisions” to make also. Always the tough ones.
    Mine: https://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2017/12/14/lighting-the-way/
    Scott

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  27. anuragbakhshi Avatar
    anuragbakhshi

    She appears to be an escapist, content to stay inside in the warmth rather than venture boldly out and explore the unexplored. But that’s who she is, so her big decision would also be escapist…and right for her, for that’s who she is.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Interesting thoughts. Thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  28. An Introverted blogger Avatar
    An Introverted blogger

    Loved how the story flowed. Hope she is able to make the right decision.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you.

      Like

      Reply
  29. spicedmullings Avatar
    spicedmullings

    Everything seems to Havre conspired against her to make her stay. Hope she will do it!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I leave it up to you to decide.

      Like

      Reply
  30. draliman Avatar
    draliman

    Very nice metaphor for life.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  31. bbryanthomas Avatar
    bbryanthomas

    Stranded. A great time to sort one’s self out.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Absolutely. Thanks Bryan.

      Like

      Reply
  32. Liz Young Avatar
    Liz Young

    Sometimes a spell of enforced idleness is a good thing.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Absolutely, I would kill for a few minutes on my own!

      Like

      Reply
  33. Susan Avatar
    Susan

    I liked your use of words; they played well with the prompt. I agree with many others, the quiet of driving is a good time to reflect on things. I just hope she had a full tank of gas to start with.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Susan – I didn’t have enough words to get into the petrol situation!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  34. neeltheauthor- author of WHEN LIFE THROWS THOSE CURVE BALLS Avatar
    neeltheauthor- author of WHEN LIFE THROWS THOSE CURVE BALLS

    Nice story, an apt metaphor for a life heading to nowhere town. As usual, great writing Kelly.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Neel.

      Like

      Reply
  35. Laurie Bell Avatar
    Laurie Bell

    Very well told… time to think

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Laurie 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  36. Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist Avatar
    Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist

    I have a good visual of her going around in circles indefinitely. I guess she’ll eventually run out of petrol – not a nice thought in those circumstances but perhaps she’ll have had enough time to think before that happens.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Irene, let’s hope things become clear before she’s out of petrol!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  37. Sally Avatar
    Sally

    Great story, forced to take the time because she’s stuck in bad weather to make a decision, let’s hope it’s the right one.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Sally.

      Like

      Reply
  38. Dahlia Avatar
    Dahlia

    Possibly the long wait may change her perspective and decision 🙂 Nicely conceived Iain

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  39. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) Avatar
    Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    I can imagine that the decisions mature when she sits there waiting too.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Bjorn

      Like

      Reply
  40. patriciaruthsusan Avatar
    patriciaruthsusan

    This route sounds like a metaphor for her life. I hope she works out a plan while sitting there. Good writing, Iain. —- Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Suzanne

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  41. Woman walking Max Avatar
    Woman walking Max

    Liked the strong sense of her mood – stuckness at every level. Good one.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you.

      Like

      Reply
  42. michaelwynnauthor Avatar
    michaelwynnauthor

    Great stuff Iain, there’s no end to circle but you have to break out of it eventually.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Michael.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  43. TheDiaryOfSin Avatar
    TheDiaryOfSin

    wow, this was intense, for some reason this girl reminded me of… me.. I’m not sure that’s a good thing XD but great piece! I liked it.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you so much. I hope you’re not stuck in too much traffic 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  44. Sarah Ann Avatar
    Sarah Ann

    Any decision made after this journey might well be the wrong one. You sum up despondency so well in this – I’m avoiding all future snowstorms.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Very true, her feeling of being stuck may be exaggerated by her situation.

      Like

      Reply
  45. Dawn M. Miller Avatar
    Dawn M. Miller

    Yup, being in a situation like that, if nothing else gives you plenty of time to think.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Valuable time well spent. Thanks Dawn.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  46. Vivian Zems Avatar
    Vivian Zems

    Time to think… a whole world can change with this sort of timeout.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Vivian – we don’t value time like this enough.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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