AFTERMATH

Pale skin made her standout. Too many heads turned in her direction.

Assassinations make people suspicious. Years of civil war did that to a country.

The heat was heavy and oppressive.

The hotel, a ramshackle construction of tin roofs and wooden struts, teetering on collapse.

The receptionist, red lips and false eyelashes, eyed her as she entered, but didn’t try to stop her.

Crumbling stairs to the top floor.

On the bed he lay, sweat-stained and feverish. Makeshift rags as bandages, drenched in red.

Eyes flickered recognition. ‘About time,’ Phillips mumbled.

‘Let’s get you out of here,’ she replied.


js-brand
Copyright JS Brand

Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

Further stories featuring the spy Phillips can be found here: THE PHILLIPS SPY STORIES

 

98 responses to “AFTERMATH”

  1. Great atmosphere and desperate action

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Dear Iain,

    Vivid descriptions…atmospheric and well written. I want to know more.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Rochelle – so do I! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I can really feel the heat; great sense of place in this one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Claire, much appreciated. (On a side note, the card you sent to go along with your novels at Christmas went down a treat, my Mum is a fan! 🙂 )

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Yay! That’s great to know x

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I can picture the scene in my mind. Very good.

    DJ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Danny, much appreciated.

      Like

  5. So well described, Iain. I want to know more!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Dale – if the rest of the story ever comes to me, I’ll post it on the blog! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Woot! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Who doesn’t like that? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Louise 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. As a fan this comment fills me with joy 🙂

      Like

  6. I want to know more about the female agent who’s ‘rescuing’ Phillips. She might not live long, I fear, if she’s aware of being too pale and hasn’t remedied that with make-up! Graphic description, Iain!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Penny, hopefully neither of them hangs around long enough to get caught!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Good one Iian

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Maybe he’ll make it now.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. His chances have definitely improved.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Brilliant description, Iain. And I like the description of the receptionist – not what I expected.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Jilly, glad you liked that detail.

      Like

  10. That was deliciously intriguing and beautifully visual. I hope she manages to get him to safety!

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

  11. You kept us wondering until the very last line. . .great suspense.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Hope she manages to rescue him safely.
    Great setting & suspense!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. This is very powerful, Iain. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Ooh, nicely tense writing that conveys the danger of their situation very well. A cracking tone for a thriller Iain. Very nice

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Lynn, exactly what I was aiming for.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure. A cracking tale Iain.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. A great scene-setter Iain. Spot on.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I feel this as a script for a film… actually the film started to play at the back of my head.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a good sign, Thanks Bjorn.

      Like

  17. A captivating – rescue from hell.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. No doubt. That hotel looks like somewhere a spy, particularly an injured one, will go to lick his wounds. It’s a good thing she found him…I think. I half expected her to finish him off.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. With more words I would have built up the tension a bit more. Fortunately she’s here to help – this time!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. the visual was laid out perfectly showing your skills as a writer. well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Now is he the bad guy or the good guy. what did he do to land up in this condition. Eagerly awaiting the whole tale. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Christine – I guess it depends which side you’re on as whether he is the good or bad guy!

      Like

  21. This definitely has the flavour of a spy or intrigue. Well done. And your line descriptors add to the genre noire style. Made good use of that particular effect. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  22. sweat-stained and feverish. Makeshift rags as bandages, drenched in red ~ this line brought an amazing sense of smell to your 100-words. Well done

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Alicia, glad you appreciated the details 🙂

      Like

  23. Very atmospheric. Phillips is in a bit of a fix again!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He is, one day I’ll feature him in a story where he just goes for a stroll and nothing happens!!

      Liked by 2 people

  24. I really like your superwoman here.
    Brilliant writing, as always.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Moon, glad you liked her 🙂

      Like

  25. Nice, tight descriptions! You’ve really done a lot in 100 words here.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, much appreciated.

      Like

  26. Good building of suspense here, Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Oooo great one. I could feel the quiet something in the air. Well told

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Rescue! Great description.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Oh loved the description and the tension. Nicely done, Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. the rescue…
    so nice

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you – he certainly needed it!

      Liked by 1 person

  31. An engaging write, Lain. Your description left me with the curiosity to know more.
    I loved it. I hope you do continue with this one. Intriguing story.
    Isadora 😎

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, very encouraging 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  32. Great descriptors. I could see the scene in my head.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Loved your use of descriptions. Was not heavy handed but really gave a sense of place and desperation. Sounds like a rescue mission.

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Nicely built up and the perfect opening for a thriller.

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Such evocative imagery and scene setting. I felt Phillips could have been a bit more grateful for his rescue, but I accept he’s limited by the word count. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, yes, with more of an explanation we could learn a bit more about what he had been through.

      Like

  36. Great bit of script writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  37. A very engaging story, nicely done! =)

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Who is this mystery lady?
    She reminds me of the lady in red in The Matrix.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Interesting comparison, she certainly seems to be in control and good at her job of rescuing agents.

      Like

  39. With her appearance attracting so much attention, I wonder if she and Phillips will manage to make it out alive. Great atmosphere and suspense in this story!

    Liked by 1 person

  40. Your sense of place put me right in the middle of your story, and with the surprise ending, now I want to know more!

    Liked by 1 person

  41. Great use of imagery to evoke a time and place. I especially loved the line that assassinations tend to make people uneasy. It says so much in such a short space.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Anne, very kind and much appreciated 🙂

      Like

  42. Little does he know she was sent to terminate him but you will tell us that in the next episode 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a devious twist, but I could see a story where they end up on opposite sides for sure 🙂

      Like

  43. Great use of descriptive language.

    Liked by 1 person

  44. Thanks for visiting my site and liking some of my blogs. I appreciate it.

    Like

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