Pale skin made her standout. Too many heads turned in her direction.
Assassinations make people suspicious. Years of civil war did that to a country.
The heat was heavy and oppressive.
The hotel, a ramshackle construction of tin roofs and wooden struts, teetering on collapse.
The receptionist, red lips and false eyelashes, eyed her as she entered, but didn’t try to stop her.
Crumbling stairs to the top floor.
On the bed he lay, sweat-stained and feverish. Makeshift rags as bandages, drenched in red.
Eyes flickered recognition. ‘About time,’ Phillips mumbled.
‘Let’s get you out of here,’ she replied.
Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).
To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.
Further stories featuring the spy Phillips can be found here: THE PHILLIPS SPY STORIES
Great atmosphere and desperate action
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks Neil
LikeLike
Dear Iain,
Vivid descriptions…atmospheric and well written. I want to know more.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Rochelle – so do I! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can really feel the heat; great sense of place in this one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Claire, much appreciated. (On a side note, the card you sent to go along with your novels at Christmas went down a treat, my Mum is a fan! 🙂 )
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yay! That’s great to know x
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can picture the scene in my mind. Very good.
DJ
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Danny, much appreciated.
LikeLike
So well described, Iain. I want to know more!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Dale – if the rest of the story ever comes to me, I’ll post it on the blog! 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Woot! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Death and mayhem!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Who doesn’t like that? 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
So visual – I was right there!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Louise 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very James Bond.
LikeLiked by 1 person
As a fan this comment fills me with joy 🙂
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I want to know more about the female agent who’s ‘rescuing’ Phillips. She might not live long, I fear, if she’s aware of being too pale and hasn’t remedied that with make-up! Graphic description, Iain!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Penny, hopefully neither of them hangs around long enough to get caught!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good one Iian
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you.
LikeLike
Maybe he’ll make it now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
His chances have definitely improved.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brilliant description, Iain. And I like the description of the receptionist – not what I expected.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Jilly, glad you liked that detail.
LikeLike
That was deliciously intriguing and beautifully visual. I hope she manages to get him to safety!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Susan 🙂
LikeLike
You kept us wondering until the very last line. . .great suspense.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you
LikeLike
Hope she manages to rescue him safely.
Great setting & suspense!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Anita 🙂
LikeLike
This is very powerful, Iain. Well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ooh, nicely tense writing that conveys the danger of their situation very well. A cracking tone for a thriller Iain. Very nice
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you Lynn, exactly what I was aiming for.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My pleasure. A cracking tale Iain.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A great scene-setter Iain. Spot on.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Keith
LikeLiked by 1 person
I feel this as a script for a film… actually the film started to play at the back of my head.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s a good sign, Thanks Bjorn.
LikeLike
A captivating – rescue from hell.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you James.
LikeLiked by 1 person
No doubt. That hotel looks like somewhere a spy, particularly an injured one, will go to lick his wounds. It’s a good thing she found him…I think. I half expected her to finish him off.
LikeLiked by 1 person
With more words I would have built up the tension a bit more. Fortunately she’s here to help – this time!
LikeLiked by 1 person
the visual was laid out perfectly showing your skills as a writer. well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, very kind
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now is he the bad guy or the good guy. what did he do to land up in this condition. Eagerly awaiting the whole tale. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Christine – I guess it depends which side you’re on as whether he is the good or bad guy!
LikeLike
This definitely has the flavour of a spy or intrigue. Well done. And your line descriptors add to the genre noire style. Made good use of that particular effect. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you very much 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
sweat-stained and feverish. Makeshift rags as bandages, drenched in red ~ this line brought an amazing sense of smell to your 100-words. Well done
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Alicia, glad you appreciated the details 🙂
LikeLike
Very atmospheric. Phillips is in a bit of a fix again!
LikeLiked by 1 person
He is, one day I’ll feature him in a story where he just goes for a stroll and nothing happens!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I really like your superwoman here.
Brilliant writing, as always.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Moon, glad you liked her 🙂
LikeLike
Nice, tight descriptions! You’ve really done a lot in 100 words here.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, much appreciated.
LikeLike
Good building of suspense here, Iain.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you
LikeLike
Oooo great one. I could feel the quiet something in the air. Well told
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Laurie
LikeLiked by 1 person
Rescue! Great description.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Sascha
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh loved the description and the tension. Nicely done, Iain.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Norma
LikeLike
the rescue…
so nice
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you – he certainly needed it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
An engaging write, Lain. Your description left me with the curiosity to know more.
I loved it. I hope you do continue with this one. Intriguing story.
Isadora 😎
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, very encouraging 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great descriptors. I could see the scene in my head.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Dawn
LikeLiked by 1 person
Loved your use of descriptions. Was not heavy handed but really gave a sense of place and desperation. Sounds like a rescue mission.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you 🙂
LikeLike
Nicely built up and the perfect opening for a thriller.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Dahlia
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such evocative imagery and scene setting. I felt Phillips could have been a bit more grateful for his rescue, but I accept he’s limited by the word count. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha, yes, with more of an explanation we could learn a bit more about what he had been through.
LikeLike
Great bit of script writing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you
LikeLike
A very engaging story, nicely done! =)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks you Brenda 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Who is this mystery lady?
She reminds me of the lady in red in The Matrix.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Interesting comparison, she certainly seems to be in control and good at her job of rescuing agents.
LikeLike
With her appearance attracting so much attention, I wonder if she and Phillips will manage to make it out alive. Great atmosphere and suspense in this story!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your sense of place put me right in the middle of your story, and with the surprise ending, now I want to know more!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Jan.
LikeLike
Great use of imagery to evoke a time and place. I especially loved the line that assassinations tend to make people uneasy. It says so much in such a short space.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Anne, very kind and much appreciated 🙂
LikeLike
Little does he know she was sent to terminate him but you will tell us that in the next episode 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s a devious twist, but I could see a story where they end up on opposite sides for sure 🙂
LikeLike
Great use of descriptive language.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Susan
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for visiting my site and liking some of my blogs. I appreciate it.
LikeLike