IAIN KELLY

HER FIRST TIME

She thought the first time would have been an epiphany, a glimpse at paradise.

Instead, here she was underneath the overpass, among squalid dirt and mud.

The climactic moment had come with a rush of adrenaline, but it was over too quickly.

Her breathing returned to normal, she fixed her rucked top and smoothed her hem down.

Her clothes were impractical, what had she been thinking wearing heels and a short skirt?

She hefted another rock and threw it on top of the body bag. He sank further into the water.

Maybe her next murder would be more enjoyable.


under-bridge
Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.


My new novel, ‘A Justified State,’ is now available on Amazon in Paperback and on Amazon Kindle.TAGLINE

download‘The plot was brilliant, with characters that grabbed your attention, and incredible detail in every scene. A page turner, exciting, and emotional’ – Reader review.
Amazon.com / Amazon.co.uk

109 responses to “HER FIRST TIME”

  1. tidalscribe Avatar

    Well done, completely different from what I was expecting…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Good, then it worked 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. neilmacdon Avatar

    Clever twist, Iain

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Neil

      Like

  3. Fabricating Fiction/Louise Jensen Avatar

    Hehe very clever and unexpected! – Love the cover of A Justified State btw – best of luck with it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Louise – not a patch on your exciting news, but I’m pleased with the cover and the story, even if only a small number give it a read!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Fabricating Fiction/Louise Jensen Avatar

        Everything should be celebrated Iain. The blood, sweat & tears getting there is exactly the same, however we publish.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. michael1148humphris Avatar
    michael1148humphris

    Sounds a grim start to a life of crime

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      It can only get better!

      Like

  5. Clare Hempstead Avatar

    Masterful redirection! Congratulations on the publication of A Justified State. Hope the sales are going well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Clare, glad you enjoyed it. Sales are slow but steady so far. If you do have time, do check it out! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Clare Hempstead Avatar

        I will do, Iain. I’ve just finished what I was reading, so need something new!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Iain Kelly Avatar

        Perfect timing, let me know what you think if you give it a go!

        Like

      3. Clare Hempstead Avatar

        Just downloaded it! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Iain Kelly Avatar

        Fantastic, thank you so much ♥

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Clare Hempstead Avatar

        My pleasure! I will let you know what I think and will leave a review. Anything to help a fellow Friday Fictioneer!

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Iain Kelly Avatar

        So kind. I am finding the self promotion just as difficult and time consuming as writing the novel in the first place – and not really as enjoyable!, so every little helps and I’m very grateful to all those who give a bit of their time 🙂

        Like

      7. Clare Hempstead Avatar

        It’s difficult getting the exposure needed to create the sales.

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Iain Kelly Avatar

        Which is why every little helps and every sale makes a huge difference – if only to keep the motivation up! Hope you enjoy it and I look forward to hearing what you think 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Susan A Eames Avatar

    Yikes! I wasn’t expecting that. Deliciously grisly story, Iain.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Susan

      Like

  7. the dark netizen Avatar

    Ah..lovely dark piece! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sandra Avatar

    Excellent piece of misdirection! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Sandra, always pleasing to manage a surprise.

      Like

  9. rochellewisoff Avatar

    Dear Iain,

    I guess there’s a first time for everything. But eeeeew. Well written. Great twist at the end.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Rochelle – we all have to start somewhere!

      Like

  10. trentpmcd Avatar

    Ha ha. If she doesn’t do a better job hiding the body, there won’t be a next time 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      She’s still learning 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  11. jillyfunnell Avatar

    Great suspense. I knew it wasn’t rock ‘n’ roll she was doing but did think maybe sex or drugs. I think I have heard or read that the first killing is the hardest, though she seems fairly cool-headed as it is. Good story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Everything just takes practice until you get it right! Thanks Jilly 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Courtney Wright Avatar

    You always put that twist at the end! Well done! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Courtney 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Shweta Suresh Avatar

    That too a rather, unexpected turn. Great story, Iain! For some reason, this reminded me of Dexter.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I imagine it is how he started out 🙂

      Like

  14. scr4pl80 Avatar

    I thought I was getting used to your twisted endings and yet you surprised me again!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Always good to know I can still keep you guessing 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. scr4pl80 Avatar

        Just downloaded your book. Looking forward to reading it!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Iain Kelly Avatar

        Fantastic Janet, thank you so much. I hope I haven’t let you down! Do let me know what you think of it or leave a short review on Amazon and really hope you enjoy reading it ♥ 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  15. neeltheauthor- author of WHEN LIFE THROWS THOSE CURVE BALLS Avatar

    Again. You did it again. Lovely misdirection. Great start to a career in crime.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you so much Neel

      Like

  16. JoHawkTheWriter Avatar

    He really shouldn’t have pushed her. Now it looks like she is on a mission to take care of everyone like him. Nice job

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Oh yes, he was only the first…

      Liked by 1 person

  17. notestowomen Avatar

    Not what I was thinking at all. I thought she doing drugs. Very chilling and very well written, as usual. I read the first eight pages of your book on Amazon. Very captivating. A page turner, for sure. I can see this being made into a movie. You stand among political thriller greats as such Robert Ludlum, John La Carre, Tom Clancy and Frederick Forsyth. Congratulations on your book. I have no doubt that it will be a success.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you so much, very kind words and so lovely to hear. I do hope you get the chance to read more of it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. notestowomen Avatar

        You’re welcome, Iain. I hope so too.

        Liked by 1 person

  18. JS Brand Avatar

    Very skilful misdirection Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you JS

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) Avatar

    Ouch… it’s always the wet part of a murder that takes down the joy. 🙂 you really fooled me what she had been doing…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      You don’t appear to be the only one fooled Bjorn 😉

      Like

  20. ceayr Avatar

    Ah, Iain, you do like to hint at naughtiness then give us pure badness instead.
    Cleverly done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you CE – naughty, bad, everyone’s a winner!

      Like

  21. 4963andypop Avatar

    I wasnt sure you’d be able to keep a pg rating on this one, Iain but when it became clear it was violence and not sex, well, we all know our standards tend to be much lower. 😊nice surprise at the end and i thought of a subtitlefor you: Overdressed for murder! (Of course im sure someones already written that one!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Ha, yes I managed to keep my writing PG, only the reader’s mind makes it adult-only!! Nice subtitle 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  22. larry trasciatti Avatar

    It’s not exactly the predictable first time I was expecting, though even a murderer has to start somewhere.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Indeed they do.

      Liked by 1 person

  23. plaridel Avatar

    you never fail to amaze. one of your best. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you, too kind 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Abhijit Ray Avatar
    Abhijit Ray

    Person with some dark thought. Getting an epiphany moment after killing someone!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      It’s a good time to have an epiphany

      Like

  25. liz young Avatar

    Great story – great shock ending.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Liz

      Like

  26. Dale Avatar

    Excellent misdirect, Iain! This was great! What was she thinking… skirt and heels… silly murderess

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      She’ll learn 😉 Thanks Dale.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dale Avatar

        Of course. One learns best from one’s mistakes… 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  27. draliman Avatar

    Ha! There’s so much anticipation over your first time, the reality’s often a bit of a let down. I’m glad it hasn’t put her off trying again, though, and maybe next time in some sort of ninja outfit.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      It’s like her origin story, with each success she will adapt and add a new weapon or piece of uniform 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Keith's Ramblings Avatar

    Wellie boots and jeans next time – practice makes perfect!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Good tip Keith, I’ll pass it on 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  29. Russell Gayer Avatar

    I take it that she raped him, then killed him. These women murderers can be so devious.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I hadn’t really had in mind exactly how she had done it, but devious, absolutely!

      Like

  30. Brenda's Thoughts Avatar

    Oh my goodness, awesome twist. I’d lose the heels for sure!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Brenda. They’re just not practical are they? But sometimes you do want to look your best while at work 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  31. michaelwynnauthor Avatar

    Great last line. You really shouldn’t wear heels to a body disposing. If she’s going to make a career of it, she’ll have to learn these things fast. P.S. Book was great. Intending to post review by the weekend

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      She’s a quick learner 😉 . Really glad to hear you liked the book Michael, look forward to reading your review! Hope all is proceeding well with your own launch.

      Like

  32. Laurie Bell Avatar

    Ooooo gosh clever twist. Indeed heels are totally impracticable

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Trainers next time 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  33. Dawn M. Miller Avatar

    Hmmm.. if she didn’t enjoy it, what motivates her?
    Very intriguing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Dawn, she’ll give it another go and see if she gets a kick out of it next time!

      Liked by 1 person

  34. Woman walking Max Avatar

    Such a clever twist – you turned the reader’s expectations upside down – victim to perpetrator so deftly. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you 🙂

      Like

  35. Jacob C. Edwards Avatar

    Oh wow, I loved it man. Makes you think, how many of the worst things that people have ever done were just chasing a fleeting high?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Good question, I would guess quite a lot! Thanks Jacob.

      Liked by 1 person

  36. Dahlia Avatar

    Oops that was quite a twist Iain! And congratulations on your new book, i am sure it will do very well 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Dahlia – do give it a read if you get the chance and let me know what you think!

      Liked by 1 person

  37. James McEwan Avatar

    Dressed to kill – so to speak. It is not often we get a serial murderer in a mini skirt and heels. I expect that is her bait.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      It may well have played a part…

      Liked by 1 person

  38. talesfromthemindofkristian Avatar

    A clever twist and a macabre finish. Excellent.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Kristian

      Liked by 1 person

  39. granonine Avatar

    Well done, Lain. That title was a real red herring. It wasn’t until the rock and the body bag that I knew you weren’t talking about what I was thinking about 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Funny, it appears everyone’s mind seems to work in a very similar way when reading this story! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. granonine Avatar

        Isn’t that what you intended ? You did a masterful job of convincing us. . .

        Liked by 1 person

  40. elappleby Avatar

    Brilliant twist and perfectly executed – one of my favourites this week.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. elappleby Avatar

      PS ‘executed’ wasn’t supposed to be a pun, but let’s both pretend it was 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Iain Kelly Avatar

        😉

        Like

    2. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you, very kind 🙂

      Like

  41. lisarey1990 Avatar

    Very clever twist!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Lisa 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  42. theministryofshrawleywalks Avatar

    Interesting take on her first time, i thought it was something else which shows how my mind works!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      You and a few others it seems 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  43. i b arora Avatar

    The twist in the tale was unexpected.

    Like

  44. Dnyanada Kulkarni Avatar

    Surprise ending! What was her motive though?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Good question!

      Liked by 1 person

  45. Mrs Marian Green Avatar

    Drugs? Sex? No. Murder. And “Her First Time”, with plans for more.Good writing and great twist. Very clever with so few words. Masterful

    gramswisewords.blogspot.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you so much 🙂

      Like

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