IAIN KELLY

FREIGHT

Unfamiliar landscape rolled by: flat, parched and empty.

The old carriages groaned and squealed, rusted wheels clanking on worn rails.

At least he hadn’t had to pay for the experience. Another jarring jolt made him grip tighter.

Destination unknown, the freight train did not stop at any stations. It ploughed on unrelentingly.

Behind him, his past life: oppressive and unbearable. Ahead of him, an uncertain future.

He stared at the gap between the cars. The blurred sleepers tempted. One fall and he could end it all.

His hands sweated. The thought passed.

Like the old train, he kept on rolling.


OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
Copyright Jennifer Pendergast

Written for Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above). Come on everyone, just wear a mask.

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

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80 responses to “FREIGHT”

  1. Reena Saxena Avatar

    Wonder if the old train also thinks about ending it all 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I’m sure it would welcome some respite 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. neilmacdon Avatar

    Great atmospheric writiing, Iain

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
  3. justjoyfulness Avatar

    I hope his past is not following him into his uncertain future. Any way he can de-link the cumbersome past?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I was trying to get ‘uncoupling’in there, but ran out of words 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. justjoyfulness Avatar

        I don’t think Rochelle minds an extra few words 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. joyroses13 Avatar

    Glad he didn’t end it all …. at least not yet! Hopefully the new start helps him!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Moving on to something better. Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Dale Avatar

    I was thinking it would be grand if he could uncouple the past as he moves forward…
    Excellent take, Iain

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      You get where my mind was going with this one!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dale Avatar

        Yay!!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. J Hardy Carroll Avatar

    Always the temptation.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Certainly for 2020, I have no doubt there will be a spike in suicide rates over the course of this year.

      Like

  7. rochellewisoff Avatar

    Dear Iain,

    To keep rolling is probably the better choice. Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      You never know when things might start rolling your way. Thanks Rochelle.

      Like

  8. magickmermaid Avatar

    On his way to a better future, I hope! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I hope so too 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. granonine Avatar

    Whew! I really thought, for a moment there, that he was going to do it! Good writing, Iain 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Linda

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Psychic-Medium-Author Ronda Del Boccio Avatar

    If you’re feeling like the character, talk to someone. Hoping it’s just a fiction.
    Ronda

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks for the concern Ronda, but thankfully this is purely fiction for me. Good advice for anyone who is feeling this way though.

      Like

  11. neeltheauthor- author of WHEN LIFE THROWS THOSE CURVE BALLS Avatar
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      It’s certainly not a pleasant way to go.

      Like

  12. msjadeli Avatar

    The MC is like a dot on a map that you have oriented the reader to. Well-done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. msjadeli Avatar

        You are welcome.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Gabriella Avatar

    There certainly is heaviness on his mind. I hope that wherever the train takes him will mean a brighter future, but I am not sure a change of scenery means that issues disappear.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Perhaps a change of circumstance or acquaintances as well as scenery, but you sense bad luck might follow him wherever he goes.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Bill Avatar

    I like how you did this, Iain. Keep on rolling them out. Enjoyed reading this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Bill, much appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Bill Avatar

        You’re welcome, Iain.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Nobbinmaug Avatar

    The desolate, desperate atmosphere reminds me of “Grapes Of Wrath.” That book was horrible. I’m playing. A Steinbeck comparison is a high compliment.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Flattery will get you everywhere!

      Liked by 1 person

  16. michael Avatar

    The 1930’s and hobo’s came to mind.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Something like that Michael, although I suppose it could be timeless too.

      Like

  17. James Pyles Avatar

    I swear I will read the rest of your trilogy someday. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks James. Have no fear, they aren’t going anywhere!

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Dawn M. Miller Avatar

    I think we all ave these moments even those of us whose circumstances are not as dire.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      It’s about resisting them and picking ourselves up again. Thanks Dawn.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Tannille Avatar

    Strong writing with this one. On slip second decision can change everything.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you, much appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. draliman Avatar

    It sounds like he’s in a bad place. I hope his destination, whatever it is, makes for a brighter future.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      You and me both. Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Sandra Avatar

    Lovely writing – very atmospheric.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Sandra

      Like

  22. subroto Avatar

    Very atmospheric. Intriguing character, I feel like I want to know more.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
  23. Keith's Ramblings Avatar

    The train sounds as weary as him. At least, for now, they’re carrying on.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I’m pleased you got the sense I was trying to convey Keith. Many thanks.

      Liked by 1 person

  24. doodletllc Avatar

    Each word beautifully moves the story forward…a true joy to read.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you so much 🙂

      Like

  25. Paula Sue Bryant, Writer Avatar
    Paula Sue Bryant, Writer

    I enjoyed this a lot, especially the last line. It’s all we can do, keep rolling.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Yep, at this moment all we can do is keep on keeping on as best we can.

      Like

  26. Danny James Avatar
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Maybe a wake up call. Thanks Danny.

      Like

  27. plaridel Avatar

    i wonder what it would be to travel destination unknown. still, better than staying put.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Sometimes a change and a risk is just what is needed.

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Liz Young Avatar

    Reads like the theme for a song.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Been a few songs about trains rolling over the years.

      Like

  29. Michele Jones Avatar

    Everyone come with some baggage. Some more than others. You can leave your past behind, but eventually it will come back. Hopefully he will find what he is looking for.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Let’s hope so. Thanks Michele.

      Liked by 1 person

  30. Laurie Bell Avatar

    Dad one this one. I like the train as a metaphor for life. Sounds like he needs a change of some sort. Hopefully he finds a better alternative

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Laurie

      Like

  31. Na'ama Yehuda Avatar

    Ah, the palpable desperation. Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  32. J.A. Prentice Avatar
  33. ceayr Avatar

    Excellent, Iain.
    This photo has inspired some deep writing, and yours is, as always, among the best.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Too kind, many thanks. Hope you are enjoying the Scottish sunshine today!

      Like

  34. Inside the Mind of Isadora Avatar

    It’s difficult to add something new when many before me have added comments
    I would add too. I ditto all above. I like how dark it is. He seems lost in his inability
    to decide then does. GREAT write, Lain. I loved it.
    Isadora 😎

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      All comments are most welcome, especially ones like these 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  35. Eugenia Parrish Author Avatar

    Vivid and evocative, like the State trilogy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Eugenia. Have you read the final book?

      Like

      1. Eugenia Parrish Author Avatar

        Not yet! I’ve got so many books I promised to read, I’m beginning to regret it. But I will finish “State of War” when I can read for my own pleasure again.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Iain Kelly Avatar

        I know the feeling! Hope you enjoy it when you get to it and look forward to hearing what you thought of it 🙂

        Like

  36. wmqcolby Avatar

    Really good journey through the feelings, Iain. It went like a shot. Nice!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
  37. ahtdoucette Avatar

    Mm, such a powerful use of that image. It made me think of this one scene from the music video for Lifted by Mona Haydar during the line “so much worth dying for/even more with living for.” This really resonated with me. Thanks so much for sharing this liminal moment. Love this paragraph especially: “Destination unknown, the freight train did not stop at any stations. It ploughed on unrelentingly.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you for sharing your reaction, it means a lot 🙂

      Like

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