FREIGHT

Unfamiliar landscape rolled by: flat, parched and empty.

The old carriages groaned and squealed, rusted wheels clanking on worn rails.

At least he hadn’t had to pay for the experience. Another jarring jolt made him grip tighter.

Destination unknown, the freight train did not stop at any stations. It ploughed on unrelentingly.

Behind him, his past life: oppressive and unbearable. Ahead of him, an uncertain future.

He stared at the gap between the cars. The blurred sleepers tempted. One fall and he could end it all.

His hands sweated. The thought passed.

Like the old train, he kept on rolling.


OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
Copyright Jennifer Pendergast

Written for Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above). Come on everyone, just wear a mask.

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

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80 responses to “FREIGHT”

  1. Wonder if the old train also thinks about ending it all 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sure it would welcome some respite 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Great atmospheric writiing, Iain

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I hope his past is not following him into his uncertain future. Any way he can de-link the cumbersome past?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I was trying to get ‘uncoupling’in there, but ran out of words 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I don’t think Rochelle minds an extra few words 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Glad he didn’t end it all …. at least not yet! Hopefully the new start helps him!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Moving on to something better. Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I was thinking it would be grand if he could uncouple the past as he moves forward…
    Excellent take, Iain

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You get where my mind was going with this one!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Certainly for 2020, I have no doubt there will be a spike in suicide rates over the course of this year.

      Like

  6. Dear Iain,

    To keep rolling is probably the better choice. Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You never know when things might start rolling your way. Thanks Rochelle.

      Like

  7. On his way to a better future, I hope! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Whew! I really thought, for a moment there, that he was going to do it! Good writing, Iain 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. If you’re feeling like the character, talk to someone. Hoping it’s just a fiction.
    Ronda

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the concern Ronda, but thankfully this is purely fiction for me. Good advice for anyone who is feeling this way though.

      Like

    1. It’s certainly not a pleasant way to go.

      Like

  10. The MC is like a dot on a map that you have oriented the reader to. Well-done.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. There certainly is heaviness on his mind. I hope that wherever the train takes him will mean a brighter future, but I am not sure a change of scenery means that issues disappear.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Perhaps a change of circumstance or acquaintances as well as scenery, but you sense bad luck might follow him wherever he goes.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I like how you did this, Iain. Keep on rolling them out. Enjoyed reading this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Bill, much appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, Iain.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. The desolate, desperate atmosphere reminds me of “Grapes Of Wrath.” That book was horrible. I’m playing. A Steinbeck comparison is a high compliment.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Flattery will get you everywhere!

      Liked by 1 person

  14. The 1930’s and hobo’s came to mind.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Something like that Michael, although I suppose it could be timeless too.

      Like

  15. I swear I will read the rest of your trilogy someday. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks James. Have no fear, they aren’t going anywhere!

      Liked by 1 person

  16. I think we all ave these moments even those of us whose circumstances are not as dire.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s about resisting them and picking ourselves up again. Thanks Dawn.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Strong writing with this one. On slip second decision can change everything.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, much appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. It sounds like he’s in a bad place. I hope his destination, whatever it is, makes for a brighter future.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You and me both. Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Lovely writing – very atmospheric.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Very atmospheric. Intriguing character, I feel like I want to know more.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. The train sounds as weary as him. At least, for now, they’re carrying on.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m pleased you got the sense I was trying to convey Keith. Many thanks.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Each word beautifully moves the story forward…a true joy to read.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much 🙂

      Like

  23. Paula Sue Bryant, Writer Avatar
    Paula Sue Bryant, Writer

    I enjoyed this a lot, especially the last line. It’s all we can do, keep rolling.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep, at this moment all we can do is keep on keeping on as best we can.

      Like

    1. Maybe a wake up call. Thanks Danny.

      Like

  24. i wonder what it would be to travel destination unknown. still, better than staying put.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sometimes a change and a risk is just what is needed.

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Reads like the theme for a song.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Been a few songs about trains rolling over the years.

      Like

  26. Everyone come with some baggage. Some more than others. You can leave your past behind, but eventually it will come back. Hopefully he will find what he is looking for.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Let’s hope so. Thanks Michele.

      Liked by 1 person

  27. Dad one this one. I like the train as a metaphor for life. Sounds like he needs a change of some sort. Hopefully he finds a better alternative

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Ah, the palpable desperation. Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Excellent, Iain.
    This photo has inspired some deep writing, and yours is, as always, among the best.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Too kind, many thanks. Hope you are enjoying the Scottish sunshine today!

      Like

  30. It’s difficult to add something new when many before me have added comments
    I would add too. I ditto all above. I like how dark it is. He seems lost in his inability
    to decide then does. GREAT write, Lain. I loved it.
    Isadora 😎

    Liked by 1 person

    1. All comments are most welcome, especially ones like these 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  31. Vivid and evocative, like the State trilogy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Eugenia. Have you read the final book?

      Like

      1. Not yet! I’ve got so many books I promised to read, I’m beginning to regret it. But I will finish “State of War” when I can read for my own pleasure again.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I know the feeling! Hope you enjoy it when you get to it and look forward to hearing what you thought of it 🙂

        Like

  32. Really good journey through the feelings, Iain. It went like a shot. Nice!

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Mm, such a powerful use of that image. It made me think of this one scene from the music video for Lifted by Mona Haydar during the line “so much worth dying for/even more with living for.” This really resonated with me. Thanks so much for sharing this liminal moment. Love this paragraph especially: “Destination unknown, the freight train did not stop at any stations. It ploughed on unrelentingly.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing your reaction, it means a lot 🙂

      Like

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