Unfamiliar landscape rolled by: flat, parched and empty.
The old carriages groaned and squealed, rusted wheels clanking on worn rails.
At least he hadn’t had to pay for the experience. Another jarring jolt made him grip tighter.
Destination unknown, the freight train did not stop at any stations. It ploughed on unrelentingly.
Behind him, his past life: oppressive and unbearable. Ahead of him, an uncertain future.
He stared at the gap between the cars. The blurred sleepers tempted. One fall and he could end it all.
His hands sweated. The thought passed.
Like the old train, he kept on rolling.
Written for Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above). Come on everyone, just wear a mask.
To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.
Iain Kelly 
80 responses to “FREIGHT”
Wonder if the old train also thinks about ending it all 🙂
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I’m sure it would welcome some respite 🙂
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Great atmospheric writiing, Iain
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Thanks Neil
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I hope his past is not following him into his uncertain future. Any way he can de-link the cumbersome past?
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I was trying to get ‘uncoupling’in there, but ran out of words 🙂
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I don’t think Rochelle minds an extra few words 🙂
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Glad he didn’t end it all …. at least not yet! Hopefully the new start helps him!
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Moving on to something better. Thank you
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I was thinking it would be grand if he could uncouple the past as he moves forward…
Excellent take, Iain
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You get where my mind was going with this one!
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Yay!!
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Always the temptation.
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Certainly for 2020, I have no doubt there will be a spike in suicide rates over the course of this year.
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Dear Iain,
To keep rolling is probably the better choice. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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You never know when things might start rolling your way. Thanks Rochelle.
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On his way to a better future, I hope! 🙂
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I hope so too 🙂
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Whew! I really thought, for a moment there, that he was going to do it! Good writing, Iain 🙂
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Thanks Linda
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If you’re feeling like the character, talk to someone. Hoping it’s just a fiction.
Ronda
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Thanks for the concern Ronda, but thankfully this is purely fiction for me. Good advice for anyone who is feeling this way though.
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What a thought! Come off it, whoever it is!
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It’s certainly not a pleasant way to go.
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The MC is like a dot on a map that you have oriented the reader to. Well-done.
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Thank you 🙂
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You are welcome.
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There certainly is heaviness on his mind. I hope that wherever the train takes him will mean a brighter future, but I am not sure a change of scenery means that issues disappear.
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Perhaps a change of circumstance or acquaintances as well as scenery, but you sense bad luck might follow him wherever he goes.
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I like how you did this, Iain. Keep on rolling them out. Enjoyed reading this.
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Thank you Bill, much appreciated.
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You’re welcome, Iain.
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The desolate, desperate atmosphere reminds me of “Grapes Of Wrath.” That book was horrible. I’m playing. A Steinbeck comparison is a high compliment.
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Flattery will get you everywhere!
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The 1930’s and hobo’s came to mind.
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Something like that Michael, although I suppose it could be timeless too.
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I swear I will read the rest of your trilogy someday. 😀
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Thanks James. Have no fear, they aren’t going anywhere!
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I think we all ave these moments even those of us whose circumstances are not as dire.
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It’s about resisting them and picking ourselves up again. Thanks Dawn.
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Strong writing with this one. On slip second decision can change everything.
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Thank you, much appreciated.
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It sounds like he’s in a bad place. I hope his destination, whatever it is, makes for a brighter future.
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You and me both. Thank you
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Lovely writing – very atmospheric.
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Thanks Sandra
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Very atmospheric. Intriguing character, I feel like I want to know more.
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Thank you.
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The train sounds as weary as him. At least, for now, they’re carrying on.
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I’m pleased you got the sense I was trying to convey Keith. Many thanks.
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Each word beautifully moves the story forward…a true joy to read.
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Thank you so much 🙂
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I enjoyed this a lot, especially the last line. It’s all we can do, keep rolling.
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Yep, at this moment all we can do is keep on keeping on as best we can.
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Close call!
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Maybe a wake up call. Thanks Danny.
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i wonder what it would be to travel destination unknown. still, better than staying put.
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Sometimes a change and a risk is just what is needed.
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Reads like the theme for a song.
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Been a few songs about trains rolling over the years.
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Everyone come with some baggage. Some more than others. You can leave your past behind, but eventually it will come back. Hopefully he will find what he is looking for.
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Let’s hope so. Thanks Michele.
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Dad one this one. I like the train as a metaphor for life. Sounds like he needs a change of some sort. Hopefully he finds a better alternative
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Thank you Laurie
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Ah, the palpable desperation. Well done!
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Thank you
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Great story!
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Thank you
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Excellent, Iain.
This photo has inspired some deep writing, and yours is, as always, among the best.
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Too kind, many thanks. Hope you are enjoying the Scottish sunshine today!
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It’s difficult to add something new when many before me have added comments
I would add too. I ditto all above. I like how dark it is. He seems lost in his inability
to decide then does. GREAT write, Lain. I loved it.
Isadora 😎
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All comments are most welcome, especially ones like these 🙂
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Vivid and evocative, like the State trilogy.
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Thank you Eugenia. Have you read the final book?
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Not yet! I’ve got so many books I promised to read, I’m beginning to regret it. But I will finish “State of War” when I can read for my own pleasure again.
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I know the feeling! Hope you enjoy it when you get to it and look forward to hearing what you thought of it 🙂
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Really good journey through the feelings, Iain. It went like a shot. Nice!
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Thank you!
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Mm, such a powerful use of that image. It made me think of this one scene from the music video for Lifted by Mona Haydar during the line “so much worth dying for/even more with living for.” This really resonated with me. Thanks so much for sharing this liminal moment. Love this paragraph especially: “Destination unknown, the freight train did not stop at any stations. It ploughed on unrelentingly.”
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Thank you for sharing your reaction, it means a lot 🙂
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