IAIN KELLY

ALCOHOLIC

Maisie propped her handmade sign on the dusty old chair.

‘I finished it,’ she announced. Her father looked at the pink and blue flowers and bright childish writing.

‘For sale,’ he read aloud, then looked at his daughter. ‘That’s great, Maisie. What are we selling?’

Maisie gestured to all the junk that filled the garage.

‘All this stuff.’

‘Why’s that now?’

‘Cos Mama said either it went or she went, and I don’t want Mama to go.’

He smiled  at her.

‘Sometimes your Mama says things she don’t mean, especially when she’s mad like that.’

‘So she ain’t leaving?’

‘Oh, she might leave, but clearing out this garage won’t make a bit of difference either way.’

Maisie looked crestfallen. ‘Is it the demons in them bottles again?’

Her father nodded.

‘Maisie girl, you want to help me clear up this place’

‘I guess.’

‘Come on then.’

They worked all afternoon filling boxes and loading them into the car to go to the dump. Mama sure will be delighted when she wakes up, Maisie thought.


02-jhardycarroll-05-february-2017
© J Hardy Carroll

Written as part of Sunday Photo Fiction. Write a story of around 200 words based on the photo prompt given (above). For more details visit HERE.

To read more stories based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

35 responses to “ALCOHOLIC”

  1. shehannemoore Avatar

    Another compelling piece with a great twist at the end.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Shehanne. Not sure where this one came from, just started writing and that’s where it ended up.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. shehannemoore Avatar

        It was nicely done (Lol that is how I write. I just start and then–then the mess is unbelievable. )

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Iain Kelly Avatar

        Ha, in among that mess is your next great novel though! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      3. shehannemoore Avatar

        Lol….. AS I sit untangling the mess…… I only wish x

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Steve Lakey Avatar

    A subtle piece of writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Steve

      Like

  3. angietrafford Avatar

    Brilliant writing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Angie 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. J Hardy Carroll Avatar

    If it were only that easy to clean up the real mess, eh? Nicely written as always.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
  5. Sunday Fiction Avatar

    Alcoholism really is the demon. Well written Iain (as if you could write any other way)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Many thanks (some are better than others!)

      Liked by 1 person

  6. pamelascanepa Avatar

    A very sad situation for the child, indeed. This is such a realistic portrayal.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Pamela, glad it came across as real people in a real situation.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. yuhublogger Avatar

    Penned so beautifully… Poor child… And looks like a patient father… I hope things get better for them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Many thanks, much appreciated. Hopefully better times ahead for them.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Joy Pixley Avatar

    Nicely done. I get a clear picture of the problems caused by the demons in those bottles, and the relationship between these three, with just a few well-placed hints.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Joy. Good that you managed to get such a lot from my few words.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Lorraine Avatar

    In a few words, you develop strong character sketches. Well done as usual.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Lorraine, always appreciate your comments.

      Like

      1. Lorraine Avatar

        Any time.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Singledust Avatar

    ….and the children suffer the most. written with such depth! she believes she can help her mother and I hope the mother wakes up feeling better not seeing all the bottles there. The girl will do well later on – she has a kind father.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
  11. TanGental Avatar

    some of the best stuff comes with just writing doesn’t it? Great piece

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks, I agree, don’t think too much, just write and see what comes out.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. TanGental Avatar

        sometimes it’s best not to ask how one’s mind works – that way lies the funny farm…

        Liked by 1 person

  12. John Davis Frain Avatar

    I love the shot of hope at the end, especially from Maisie’s innocent viewpoint. Nice touch.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks John, pleased you saw some hope in there.

      Like

  13. neelwritesblog Avatar

    Brevity when it comes to penning character sketches that leap out of the page is your forte. Greatly enjoyed this, Lain.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Neel, very kind.

      Like

  14. Sascha Darlington Avatar

    very well done. It was nice to have the innocence of the child, who presumes everything will be fine once the bottles are removed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Very kind Sascha, thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  15. athling2001 Avatar

    Nicely done. The child’s voice is spot-on.

    Like

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you 🙂

      Like

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