SCENE FROM A MARRIAGE

‘What in the name of the Lord is that heap of junk doing here?’

‘Why it’s the ‘Daisy May.’ You remember, my Grandaddy’s old truck.’

‘I know what it is, Dennis. I asked what is it doing here, outside my porch.’

‘Well, Grandma was going to junk it now that Grandaddy has passed on. But I said I couldn’t let her do that. So she said then I could take the thing. So here it is.’

‘And what are you intending to do with it?’

‘Well I thought I could do it up then maybe we could take it for a drive like we used to do on Grandaddy’s farm.’

‘Dennis Barnes, take your hands off me and wipe that stupid look off your face. You think I’m goin’ to carry on like a teenager in that thing with you again, you can think again. And get it out of my sight. What will the neighbors think?’

Estelle slammed the front door closed and smiled. She loved that crazy man and always would.


photo-20170206154748798
© Mike Vore

Written as part of Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers. The challenge is to write a flash fiction story in around 150 words, based on the weekly photo prompt. Thanks as always to the challenge host Priceless Joy. For more information visit HERE.

To read other stories based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

39 responses to “SCENE FROM A MARRIAGE”

  1. Love! This is my favorite yet. The opening pulls you in and the ending makes you want to visit these two more.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, thanks John. Couldn’t really think where to go with this prompt, so just started writing a couple of characters and see where it would take me. Glad it impressed you.

      Like

  2. I love them Iain. Well done xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is cute Ian. Kind of romantic I’d think from Estelle’s POV, though she wouldn’t let her husband know that. I liked the realism in this story touched with a bit of whimsy 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Mandi, glad you got it all 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I love this Iain. The dialogue is great. And while I am not sure of the setting, I actually read the whole thing with a southern accent (lol).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha, that’s good, I had somewhere south in mind, so glad it came across that way! Thanks, very kind.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Hahaha! I love this! Loved the ending! Great story Iain!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. That’s good. I like her smiling at the end.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Their voices are so unique and compelling! An exchange of words, only, makes up the majority of this piece; and yet, I can see, hear, and “feel” them in my own way. I love that! Great job

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Izzy, really pleased you read it that way, very kind comments 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. haha very funny, “what will the neighbors think”, is every woman’s go to line to point out how ridiculous they think something is.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It seemed like something she would say if she was telling him off, but not in an entirely serious way 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I wish I could write dialogue half as good as what you have just done. Great writing 🙂

    Like

  10. reminded me of the hillbillies somehow – great dialogue! You managed to give Estelle words that made her so endearing! Loved it much!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, always grateful for your comments 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Charming story. I know you were going for an American south feel, but having a Dad who grew up in Oklahoma, most folks here don’t say “daft”.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks James. Although I’m not specific about location you’re probably right. What would be the equivalent expression?

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      1. There’s more than one possible, but the most likely word is “crazy”. It’s pretty region agnostic.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Duly noted, I may edit the word. Thanks for the tip.

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          1. No worries. My last two “On (day of the week) the Time Traveler (something) stories contained British and Irish characters, so I probably messed up their dialogue.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. That’s why having a few handy connections on the internet is a very useful thing!

              Liked by 1 person

  12. I read it with a Southern accent as well. Enjoyable story!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Loretta, I’m glad that’s coming across- it sounded that way in my head!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Crazy men are the best men – at least that’s what always say in my defence! Nice one Iain

    My story is Daisy May

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Keith, I agree 🙂

      Like

  14. Aww I love the realness you brought to the couple. They really do sound and feel like a couple in love ^_^

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Jade, glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  15. fun 🙂 and downright accurate!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Aww… this was so sweet and romantic. I love it.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you, very kind, glad you liked it.

        Like

  17. This is sweet. I bet Dennis made her have twinkle in her eyes 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Jacqueline, glad you saw that side of it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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