'How about this... Americans harnessed electricity,...' 'Yes, very good, Mr. President.' '...we split the atom...' 'Well, sir, technically that was a New Zealander.' '...we gave the world the telephone...' 'That was a Scotsman, Sir' '...and the internet...' 'Tim Berners-Lee was an Englishman working in Switzerland.' '...we settled the Wild West...' 'Maybe don't highlight our record … Continue reading EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN SINK
'Do you know the closest living relative of the dinosaur is?' Margarita sighed as little Nino stumbled through his favourite fact, delivered with glee every morning when they collected the eggs. 'No, what is it?' she played along. 'The chicken!' The boy laughed and started chasing after the group of hens in the yard, roaring … Continue reading ATTACK OF THE KILLER CHICKENS
Archie stretched up and swung the hammer, managing to nudge the satellite dish. 'How about now?' he shouted through the window. Agnes checked the television. 'Still nothing.' Archie sighed. He was not going to miss the first live football match in four months because the satellite signal was on the blink. He made another lunge … Continue reading GETTING BACK TO NORMAL
Here he comes, full of bluster, just like his president. He wasn't ruining the holiday exactly, but every time that bellowing voice approached the pool area, the patrons visibly slumped. 'Mornin' y'all!' He hefted his great bulk onto a lounger. 'S'cuse me, boy! A little refreshment over here!' The pool boy reluctantly answered the beckoning … Continue reading THE BALLOON
'Are they close enough together?' He looked at the room. It seemed crowded and cluttered, but apparently that's how they used to do it. 'Four round that small table?' They would be banging elbows. 'It's how they wanted it,' the maitre d' shrugged. The serving staff would have trouble manoeuvring in and out the small … Continue reading NOSTALGIA
