Tag: comedy
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AGALMATOPHILIA
The old-timer doddered into the shop, heading straight for the wedding dress on the mannequin in the window. He stared at it, his eyes dewy. His hand reached out to touch the material. Marge went over to him. ‘Can I help you?’ ‘Thank you, dear. Just reminded me of something.’ ‘Your wedding day?’ she smiled […]
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THE GARDEN ROOM
An extension proved too expensive, but Agnes insisted she needed more space. ‘How can I be expected to be creative with you in the same room?’ ‘I don’t get in your way,’ Archie replied. ‘You slurp. You chew. You exhale!’ Suitably chastised, Archie investigated a garden room. He would lose his flowerbeds, but he would […]
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CONVERSATIONS FROM AN EDIT SUITE
‘I really must do something about my weight.’ ‘Me too.’ ‘I eat too much.’ ‘Yes, we should cut down.’ ‘I don’t exercise enough.’ ‘It’s the sedentary job.’ ‘A lunchtime walk, every day, that would help.’ ‘Raining today though.’ ‘From tomorrow then.’ ‘Light lunch for you today then?’ ‘Yes, salad, fruit juice, nothing else.’ ‘Right, I’ll […]
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INTERVENTION
Moonlight glinted off her pale body. The time for sacrifice was upon them. She squirmed and pulled against the ropes that bound her wrists and ankles. A chant was intoned around her by the hooded wraith-like figures, gradually increasing in volume and intensity. The leader of the group, marked by his impressive horned headpiece stepped […]
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FOR OUR OWN GOOD
The bars appeared overnight. We didn’t notice until Bill left the house for work and walked smack into them outside the front door. The Presidential decree came soon after. Lockdown again, only this one enforced by steel cages. A strong rebuke: until we could all learn to behave for the greater good, we’ll remain behind […]
Iain Kelly 