Tag: humour
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AGALMATOPHILIA
The old-timer doddered into the shop, heading straight for the wedding dress on the mannequin in the window. He stared at it, his eyes dewy. His hand reached out to touch the material. Marge went over to him. ‘Can I help you?’ ‘Thank you, dear. Just reminded me of something.’ ‘Your wedding day?’ she smiled […]
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ESCAPE HATCH
He jumped from the fourth floor. This was exactly why he had built the escape hatch in wall of the office for. He crossed his arms across his chest and slid out feet first, speeding downwards, bracing for the impact against the cushioned platform on the ground. He bolted across the street, sprinting for safety. […]
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THE GARDEN ROOM
An extension proved too expensive, but Agnes insisted she needed more space. ‘How can I be expected to be creative with you in the same room?’ ‘I don’t get in your way,’ Archie replied. ‘You slurp. You chew. You exhale!’ Suitably chastised, Archie investigated a garden room. He would lose his flowerbeds, but he would […]
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FERTILISATION
The flowers have come up well this year. White and red, her favourite colours. She arrives. I hope to impress. She glances at them, nods a little, makes a note on her clipboard. It’s over in less than ten minutes and she’s gone. All that work. A week later. The results are emailed to the […]
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CONSEQUENCES
When he was admitted to the hospital, she put the chair out in his favourite spot in the corner of the garden. She couldn’t visit him, so she sat next to the chair and spoke to him as though he was still there. She kept the chair there all through lockdown, even after she knew […]
Iain Kelly 