IAIN KELLY

FIELD HOSPITAL

Woozy. Sweat. Open eyes.

Peeling paint, damp patches, broken ceiling fan.

Movement next to me. Moist sheets. Another person.

She moans. Dark hair, dark skin.

Vague memories. A bar, drinking, her smiling face.

Sit up, look round. Dilapidated.

Head thumping. Air oppressive. Dry throat.

Stagger to the window. Old, wooden frame. Open it.

Humid air. Voices. Cries.

She turns, eyes looking at me. That smile.

The night is in the past.

To the dank bathroom. Cracked mirror reflects broken face.

Splash of water. Hands steady.

Ready for another day.

Ready for more victims.

Ready to do what little I can.


photoa

Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

This April I am taking part in the A to Z Challenge once again. My theme is a collection of stories from around the countries of the European Union, and you can find them here: A TO Z CHALLENGE 2018

104 responses to “FIELD HOSPITAL”

  1. neilmacdon Avatar

    An evocative piece, Iain. You used the word limit well

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Neil.

      Like

  2. James Avatar

    The photo reminded me of war as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Yep, Apocalypse Now opening scene whenever I see a ceiling fan… I tried to leave it open that it could equally be the scene of a natural disaster too.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. J Hardy Carroll Avatar

    Great story. I like the rhythm.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you, felt like the style would fit the prompt, a fractured building, a snatched image sort of thing.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Sandra Avatar

    Syria sprang to mind, but it could be almost anywhere these days. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Yep, there’s a whole string of places it could apply to at this very moment.

      Like

  5. Jelli Avatar
    Jelli

    Eek! That’s a scary little story… It’s almost as if you stepped into one of the minds of a Nazi doctor with this one…at least that’s what I thought of as I read it…. shivers down my spine. Great write!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Interesting, it could be taken either way, he may be a good samaritan helping in a tragedy, or the other way/ Perhaps it says more about the reader’s mindset! Thanks Jelli 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Dahlia Avatar

      Even I saw it as a sinister tale with an evil man at work – but wonderfully penned Iain 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Iain Kelly Avatar

        You are all so cynical! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Dahlia Avatar
  6. rochellewisoff Avatar

    Dear Iain,

    You set the tone and the atmosphere with skill. I felt like I was there. Little said. Much told. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Rochelle, enjoyed writing this one.

      Like

  7. yarnspinnerr Avatar

    Well crafted IK.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
  8. Diary of a Dublin housewife Avatar
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you 🙂

      Like

  9. Susan A Eames Avatar

    Wow – I can’t believe how much you have crammed into this story. All the told and untold aspects left me reeling. Well done!

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Like

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Susan, very kind.

      Like

  10. pennygadd51 Avatar

    There has been recent news coverage of a handful of charity workers taking advantage of the sexual availability of vulnerable people. I wonder whether that is your topic? It’s graphically written. You’ve constructed the story very cleverly so we only gradually realise what is important, and what he has to do, today and every day. The form is fragmentary, which imitates his state of mind; and then he grasps hold of the fact that his hands are steady, and the world comes into proper focus again; he knows who he is and what he has to do.
    This is fine writing Iain.

    Like

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Penny, I wondered if anyone would make the connection to those recent stories. I think we would have to know more about the identity of the woman in the bed to make any judgement – is she a fellow volunteer or doctor? both consenting adults? or a local woman in desperate times? a prostitute? is this just something they both need to get away from the horror of the tragedy they are in the middle of? Such a nice comment, thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Dale Avatar

    I loved how you wrote this, Iain. The rhythm the style, the story itself. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you so much Dale 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  12. joyroses13 Avatar

    Very powerful. Touches the emotions! Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Jacqui Murray Avatar

    These are the real heroes of battle. As the mother of two military kids, I am all for them.

    Like

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      They certainly are heroes, I can’t imagine what they must see and deal with.

      Like

  14. k rawson Avatar

    I thought what Penny thought! The way this is written works so well for this story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
  15. Moon Avatar
    Moon

    I liked your style of writing in this piece so much. Fragmented , choked, just like the tragedy they are trapped in. Brilliant!
    I think he is a good doctor who wants to save the victims of the nameless tragedy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I had in mind that he was a good guy too 🙂

      Like

  16. J. E. Kennedy Avatar

    Great atmosphere in this piece Iain. I love the pace the short sentences give. Cleverly done. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Jennifer, much appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Alicia Jamtaas Avatar

    I love how you took this from a possible romantic encounter to the field hospital. Skillfully done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Alicia 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Michael Avatar
    Michael

    I enjoyed the way you put this together,.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Michael.

      Like

  19. goroyboy Avatar

    Sounds like you were going down the Florence Nightingale path.. finding contentment even in the worst of circumstances.. the human at their finest:) I enjoy the punctual short sentences.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you, pleased you liked it.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. plaridel Avatar

    this was written in a way i could visualize what was going on. well done as aways.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you, much appreciated.

      Like

  21. kristin Avatar

    Very visual story. That fan in the photo though, it is indeed dilapidated.

    http://findingeliza.com/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Kristin.

      Like

  22. anuragbakhshi Avatar

    Loved the rhythm and feel of it, very powerful stuff. As an aside, you are actually taking out time to write stories in addition to AtoZ also? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you. Yes, although I’m skipping a few of my usual prompts for April, I can’t skip Friday Fictioneers. A few days ahead with my A to Z writing, so I had the time 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  23. draliman Avatar

    Great sense of “getting along however you can, grabbing a bit of company where you can find it”.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. shivamt25 Avatar

    Well Written! Reminded me of so many amazing war movies! Like Full Metal Jacket, Apocalypse Now, The Deer Hunter etc. Those were some amazing watch!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Apocalypse Now was definitely in my mind when writing it 🙂

      Like

  25. Russell Gayer Avatar

    Outstanding piece, Iain. There are so many possibilities here, as noted in the comments. Very impressive writing. Five stars.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Russell, much appreciated.

      Like

  26. Clare Hempstead Avatar

    A clever way to tell so much in so few words.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Clare.

      Like

  27. subroto Avatar

    Stealing moments to himself in midst of chaos is how I read it. Nicely done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you, definitely the calm before the storm.

      Like

  28. liz young Avatar

    I’m not sure if that turned nasty at the end or not?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I leave it entirely to your imagination to decide.

      Like

  29. Russell Avatar

    A sad scene, but all too true.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Unfortunately so.

      Liked by 1 person

  30. granonine Avatar

    Powerful. You had me right there with you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
  31. Woman walking Max Avatar

    Liked your story very much, honed prose, no words wasted, very atmospheric – well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you so much

      Like

  32. Laurie Bell Avatar

    Oooooo wow well told. The choppy sentences really drew me in.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Laurie

      Liked by 1 person

  33. Anna Rymer Avatar

    OH that’s so stark and atmospheric. Really strong and thought provoking

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Anna.

      Like

  34. jillyfunnell Avatar

    Beautifully constructed. Excellent read.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Jilly.

      Like

  35. lisarey1990 Avatar

    Very powerful, thought-provoking and atmospheric.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Lisa

      Liked by 1 person

  36. Fabricating Fiction/Louise Jensen Avatar

    I was right there. Brilliantly descriptive.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Louise

      Liked by 1 person

  37. LucciaGray Avatar

    Great rhythm and story, but I’m not sure what to make of the enigmatic last lines. He might be helping her, or not…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I leave it to the eye of the beholder, what do you think? 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. LucciaGray Avatar

        I’m an optimist and a romantic, so I really hope he’s helping her!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Iain Kelly Avatar

        That is what I thought as I was writing it 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  38. gahlearner Avatar
    gahlearner

    That is a very effective way to get the atmosphere across. Enjoy the moment, get ready for the onslaught. Wonderful writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you so much 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  39. mumpoet Avatar

    I love the structural choices you have made – they fit so well with the subject matter 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  40. Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist Avatar

    Doctors and nurses on or near the front line have a tough day – it would be hard to forget the sights and the cries and the smells. I’m glad he found solace for a short period during the night.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Irene, you sum it up perfectly.

      Liked by 1 person

  41. Dawn M. Miller Avatar

    This was almost poetic with it’s rhythm.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
  42. Suzanne Blazier Avatar

    A surprise in the midst of reading your A to Z posts. I like Field Hospital. Compelling images, well written.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Suzanne.

      Like

  43. Susan Avatar

    there is a poetic flow to this piece. Nicely done

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Susan

      Like

  44. magarisa Avatar

    Such a melodic piece, both melancholic and hopeful.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  45. James McEwan Avatar

    A great piece of open poetry , I enjoyed reading this – although it has some dark undertones.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks James, it is a little unsettling!

      Liked by 1 person

  46. michaelwynnauthor Avatar

    The style you chose to write this in gave it put us there in the protagonist’s mind. Well done

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Michael

      Liked by 1 person

  47. Sarah Ann Avatar
    Sarah Ann

    So well done with those breathless sentences, the sense of exhaustion overwhelming.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Sarah Ann.

      Like

  48. Lynn Love Avatar

    Fractured building, fractured lives, fractured words – very fitting and well done Iain

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Lynn, much appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lynn Love Avatar

        My pleasure

        Liked by 1 person

  49. Sascha Darlington Avatar

    Very well done. You created an atmosphere, emotions, and motivation, and rendered them in a feeling of frustration along with duty.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Sascha, very kind.

      Like

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