A TRUE SCOTSMAN

‘Bagpipes aren’t even a Scottish invention.’

‘But they are the Scottish instrument.’

‘No one in Scotland goes around dressed in kilts.’

‘No-one?’

‘Okay, the odd bloke might, but he smells of whiskey and urine and people steer clear of him.’

‘The American tourists love this stuff.’

‘Do you really think Scots wear tartan everyday?’

‘I’ve seen Scottish weddings, and the Edinburgh Military Tattoo.’

‘That’s a show put on for tourists.’

‘I know. The Japanese lap it up too.’

‘I suppose you think the Loch Ness Monster is real.’

‘I’ve sold enough stuffed toys to believe.’

‘What I’m saying is Scotland is a much more modern country now. It’s more than these old contrived traditions and stereotypes.’

‘I don’t disagree.’

‘Then why do you do this?’

‘I’m upholding the real Scottish tradition.’

‘What’s that exactly?’

‘The canny businessman. Get your tartan DVDs here, two for a fiver!’


ceayr
Copyright CE Ayr

Written as part of Sunday Photo Fiction. Write a story of around 200 words based on the photo prompt given (above). Hosted by Susan Spaulding. For more details visit HERE.

To read more of the stories based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

Last week I had a short holiday and got to enjoy the real attraction of Scotland – the scenery. A couple of pictures from Lochgoilhead:

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37 responses to “A TRUE SCOTSMAN”

  1. Tourism contributes to rewriting of history, so many times.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It happens everywhere. As a Scottish person I feel it here more than elsewhere, but I’m sure other countries suffer the same fate.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. lovely pictures.. and u took the story a scottish way. reading it in a dialog form was more fun than the usual ones..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, pleased you liked it.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I like the bag pipe and bag piper. One fine malt. I like the end of the story. At the end of the day, it is all business.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. I agree, all business in the end, some good, some bad.

      Like

  4. Love your take on the prompt.
    Good to see you back as I was beginning to get worried as I’d seen nothing from you recently! Scotland has some wonderful scenery, and I have some happy childhood memories of camping holidays, climbing the Scott Monument in Princes Street and from the top of the Stirling monument, my Dad locating our car in the car park below with the keys in it! We saw ‘Nessie’ and I paddled in Loch Lomand. Great times. Lovely photos btw.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. All the tourist hotspots covered. They are good, but these days I try to find the quieter parts off the tourist track to appreciate the scenery more.

      Like

      1. Likewise if we go anywhere.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. At every golf course in America at 5pm there is a Scottish Piper..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t know of this is true, but I can believe it!

      Like

      1. Well I saw one, heard about another one, and America being franchise heavy, I just assumed…

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I hope that the ‘great kilt’ makes a comeback. I have fond memories of Edinburgh in the 1960s, but then I am a traditionalist.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think it is safely consigned to formal occasions and tourist shows now. It’s just not practical!

      Like

  7. Loved your story! When tourists go to Holland they expect to buy wooden shoes, when they go to France they buy a replica of La Tour Eiffel, in Scotland they get stuffed Nessies. Commerce makes the world go round. 😉
    My great-grands were lowland Scots (Gallowayshire) so I can’t lay claim to Nessie or the pipes, more’s the pity. But the Scots did their part here in Canada. In fact, you might want to check out the book titled, How the SCOTS Created CANADA by Paul Cowan.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Christine, you are right, every country has it’s tourist stereotype to sell to the world. Thanks for the book tip, we Scots do like to claim a lot of influence around the world.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Welcome back, Iain! Delightful story. Scotland looks like a very beautiful place with its lush green grass and picturesque landscapes. Am happy you were able to visit and thanks for sharing your photos 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, it is certainly a beautiful landscape.

      Like

  9. Amazing. Dont fortget the Scottish Whiskey. Makes vacation wonderful too. 😉 Best wishes, Michael

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It certainly goes down well! Thanks Michael 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. (Laughing so hard I can’t breathe)
    Is that Nessie in the background of your first scenery shot–off there–on the far right!?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is how things like that get started! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome. 😀 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  11. I really enjoyed the dialogue and the fact that the “canny businessman” didn’t allow his friend’s skepticism to dampen his enthusiasm. I’d love to visit Scotland one of these days.

    Like

  12. Nice one, Iain. Nothing like a good dialogue. And business is business.

    Like

  13. Great voices in this. I’m wondering if the questioning one might have mixed heritage compared to his pure-DNA canny friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Maybe he just sees a different kind of Scotland to the one presented to the rest of the world! Thanks Sarah Ann.

      Like

      1. Do check out my blog 🙂
        I write short fiction!

        Liked by 1 person

  14. Ha ha ha, enterprising spirit! Lovely photos btw. One of my life’s eternal regrets is visiting Scotland only for three days as a part of our larger UK itinerary. Did manage to cruise Loch Ness as well as Loch Lomond in that short period though. A longer standalone Scotland trip is definitely on the agenda, though God only knows when 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Plenty of country to explore beyond the tourist hotspots – it’s just getting the good weather that’s the problem! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Hi, Iain!

    I just got back from Scotland and I loved it all. Pictures just don’t do it justice. Great story, by-the-by.

    Denise

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Denise, so glad you enjoyed the visit. I agree, pictures are a poor substitute to standing there and taking it all in first hand. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Very well written Iain and thanks for the lovely pictures!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re welcome, thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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