A TRUE SCOTSMAN

~ Iain Kelly

‘Bagpipes aren’t even a Scottish invention.’

‘But they are the Scottish instrument.’

‘No one in Scotland goes around dressed in kilts.’

‘No-one?’

‘Okay, the odd bloke might, but he smells of whiskey and urine and people steer clear of him.’

‘The American tourists love this stuff.’

‘Do you really think Scots wear tartan everyday?’

‘I’ve seen Scottish weddings, and the Edinburgh Military Tattoo.’

‘That’s a show put on for tourists.’

‘I know. The Japanese lap it up too.’

‘I suppose you think the Loch Ness Monster is real.’

‘I’ve sold enough stuffed toys to believe.’

‘What I’m saying is Scotland is a much more modern country now. It’s more than these old contrived traditions and stereotypes.’

‘I don’t disagree.’

‘Then why do you do this?’

‘I’m upholding the real Scottish tradition.’

‘What’s that exactly?’

‘The canny businessman. Get your tartan DVDs here, two for a fiver!’

ceayr
Copyright CE Ayr

Written as part of Sunday Photo Fiction. Write a story of around 200 words based on the photo prompt given (above). Hosted by Susan Spaulding. For more details visit HERE.

To read more of the stories based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

Last week I had a short holiday and got to enjoy the real attraction of Scotland – the scenery. A couple of pictures from Lochgoilhead:

20180903_18492120180903_18493520180906_134934

Published by Iain Kelly

39 year old writer, avid film viewer and book reader, employed in the media industry as a television editor.

37 thoughts on “A TRUE SCOTSMAN”

  3. I like the bag pipe and bag piper. One fine malt. I like the end of the story. At the end of the day, it is all business.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  4. Love your take on the prompt.
    Good to see you back as I was beginning to get worried as I’d seen nothing from you recently! Scotland has some wonderful scenery, and I have some happy childhood memories of camping holidays, climbing the Scott Monument in Princes Street and from the top of the Stirling monument, my Dad locating our car in the car park below with the keys in it! We saw ‘Nessie’ and I paddled in Loch Lomand. Great times. Lovely photos btw.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. All the tourist hotspots covered. They are good, but these days I try to find the quieter parts off the tourist track to appreciate the scenery more.

      Like

      Reply

  6. I hope that the ‘great kilt’ makes a comeback. I have fond memories of Edinburgh in the 1960s, but then I am a traditionalist.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  7. Loved your story! When tourists go to Holland they expect to buy wooden shoes, when they go to France they buy a replica of La Tour Eiffel, in Scotland they get stuffed Nessies. Commerce makes the world go round. 😉
    My great-grands were lowland Scots (Gallowayshire) so I can’t lay claim to Nessie or the pipes, more’s the pity. But the Scots did their part here in Canada. In fact, you might want to check out the book titled, How the SCOTS Created CANADA by Paul Cowan.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you Christine, you are right, every country has it’s tourist stereotype to sell to the world. Thanks for the book tip, we Scots do like to claim a lot of influence around the world.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  8. Welcome back, Iain! Delightful story. Scotland looks like a very beautiful place with its lush green grass and picturesque landscapes. Am happy you were able to visit and thanks for sharing your photos 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  11. I really enjoyed the dialogue and the fact that the “canny businessman” didn’t allow his friend’s skepticism to dampen his enthusiasm. I’d love to visit Scotland one of these days.

    Like

    Reply

  13. Great voices in this. I’m wondering if the questioning one might have mixed heritage compared to his pure-DNA canny friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  15. Ha ha ha, enterprising spirit! Lovely photos btw. One of my life’s eternal regrets is visiting Scotland only for three days as a part of our larger UK itinerary. Did manage to cruise Loch Ness as well as Loch Lomond in that short period though. A longer standalone Scotland trip is definitely on the agenda, though God only knows when 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Gravatar
WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Cancel

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.