Tag: tourists
-
EASTERN ROMANCE
‘Authentic Chinese Cuisine’ screamed the signs for the tourists. Which struck her as odd since they were in Ho Chi Minh City and China was 2,000km north. Still, it looked good. Pierce wasn’t convinced. ‘Hygiene standards!’ he puffed, wiping sweat from his brow with his handkerchief. She remembered the debonair gentleman who had swept her […]
-
A VERY BRITISH DAY OUT
‘Take the next left onto B709,’ says the satnav. ‘Where is she taking us?’ says the passenger. ‘I’m just following the directions, dear,’ says the driver. ‘Are we there yet?’ From the backseat. ’10 minutes away,’ says the passenger, ‘I can see the castle from here.’ ‘You said that 5 minutes ago!’ ‘It’s these bloody […]
-
A TRUE SCOTSMAN
‘Bagpipes aren’t even a Scottish invention.’ ‘But they are the Scottish instrument.’ ‘No one in Scotland goes around dressed in kilts.’ ‘No-one?’ ‘Okay, the odd bloke might, but he smells of whiskey and urine and people steer clear of him.’ ‘The American tourists love this stuff.’ ‘Do you really think Scots wear tartan everyday?’ ‘I’ve […]
-
MUTATION
‘Scan it,’ Colonel Hawk ordered. Kelso gulped and approached the huge skull with it’s gaping eyes and large nasal cavity. He raised his scanner. It bleeped and the gave a read out. He radioed back. ‘Negative, Colonel. Whatever it is, it’s from this planet.’ ‘Some sort of mutated monster gorilla,’ Hazard mused, peering over the […]
-
A MANHATTAN TALE
Rockefeller, the Radio City Music Hall, one block over Fifth Avenue. All the famous sights of midtown Manhattan surround him as he trudges along the street. He’s not interested in any of them. Not this time. When he first arrived he had been taken in by the glitz of the place. Not anymore. Now he […]
Iain Kelly 