‘Just to be clear,’ I said, knowing I was in no way being clear, ‘there will be no further austerity measures while I am in charge.’
I ended the speech, turned and walked away from the podium, the loud applause ringing in the background.
Not a bad start, I thought. This wasn’t so difficult after all. I had said I would cut taxes, raise social care allowances, raise the minimum wage and extend the legal minimum annual leave that all employees must receive. And of course, cut immigration, even though the economy would collapse without all those foreign workers.
Of course, I had no plan to deliver any of this, but it would make for good headlines, which was all anyone really paid attention to.
There was a tap on my shoulder as I entered my new office. It was my new assistant.
‘Erm, the Head of the Treasury would like an urgent meeting, Sir.’
‘Hmm, yes, tomorrow I think.’
‘He doesn’t seem very happy.’
Well, neither would I if I’d just been told to find an extra few billion in the coffers to fund all my election promises. Still, it was his job to worry about that.
My job was to provide a clear message that was popular with most of the electorate, even if it wasn’t actually what was happening.
That was how I’d won the election. Best not to change tactics now that I was finally in charge.
‘Tomorrow will be fine,’ I closed the door and sat in my comfortable new chair. I could get used to this.
Now, to plan that vacation to my seaside residence. A bit of time away to relax was just what I needed after all the hard work of an election campaign.