Tag: headlines
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OTHER BRANDS ARE AVAILABLE
‘HÄAGEN-DAZS KILLER STRIKES AGAIN!’ screamed the headline, as did executive Peter Jenkins. It was a PR disaster. That was three. Each bloodied corpse left with a half-eaten tub of Häagen-Dazs next to it. The latest theory: the killer was following people who bought Häagen-Dazs, killing them, then eating the ice-cream. ‘What flavour this time?’ his…
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CLARITY
‘Just to be clear,’ I said, knowing I was in no way being clear, ‘there will be no further austerity measures while I am in charge.’ I ended the speech, turned and walked away from the podium, the loud applause ringing in the background. Not a bad start, I thought. This wasn’t so difficult after…
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WOMAN ‘PROVES’ NESSIE EXISTS
“Man ‘Definitely’ Saw Aliens!” “Doctor ‘Heals’ With Touch Alone!” “Scientists ‘Travel’ Back In Time!” The Editor-in-Chief threw the papers across the room as he spat out each headline. “It would be nice, just once, to have a front page that was genuine and didn’t require quotation marks for legal reasons.” “Remember we did try that,…
Iain Kelly 