IAIN KELLY

EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN SINK

‘How about this… Americans harnessed electricity,…’

‘Yes, very good, Mr. President.’

‘…we split the atom…’

‘Well, sir, technically that was a New Zealander.’

‘…we gave the world the telephone…’

‘That was a Scotsman, Sir’

‘…and the internet…’

‘Tim Berners-Lee was an Englishman working in Switzerland.’

‘…we settled the Wild West…’

‘Maybe don’t highlight our record on treatment of native Americans.’

‘…won two World Wars…’

‘Really Mr. President, that’s a ridiculous over-simplification.’

‘…landed American Astronauts on the Moon.’

‘We did do that (although German scientists developed the rockets).’

‘Did I miss anything out?’

‘No, Mr. President, I think that is just about perfect.’


anonymous-kitchen-photo

Written for Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above). I try not to rise to it, but when the President of America rewrites history in a Tweet, I couldn’t resist. It’s funny and at the same time horrifying to see this and many other statements (‘China Virus’ anyone?) coming from the official White House account.

tweet

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.


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96 responses to “EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN SINK”

  1. ceayr Avatar

    Thanks, Iain, I was fortunate enough to miss this latest buffoonery from ‘The Leader of the Free World’.
    1984, anyone?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      He can only be beaten by being ignored, but there are those who believe in what he tweets.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Danny James Avatar

        Too many believe that sh**.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Iain Kelly Avatar

        A surprising number of people. Worrying times.

        Like

  2. neilmacdon Avatar

    Prepare for the twitter storm in reprisal, Iain

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      A personal reply from the President would be badge of honour, or shame perhaps…

      Like

  3. Reena Saxena Avatar

    We’ve mastered the art of converting deep shock and bewilderment to humour.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I think because there is nowhere else to go.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. MrBinks Avatar
    MrBinks

    Thanks for making me scream into my arm once more.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Please accept my sincerest apologies.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Sandra Avatar

    Hyperbole is an art form in itself. Whilst over here Twitter abounds with claim and counter claim over the origins of the Commonwealth and the British Empire. You know what they say about history, and the implications of ignoring it…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      If there is one thing I can accept Donald Trump is a world leader in, it is the use of Twitter.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. rochellewisoff Avatar

    Dear Iain,

    I firmly believe politicians (one in particular) have no business on Twitter. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I wholeheartedly agree. Neither do journalists for that matter.

      Like

      1. rochellewisoff Avatar

        However, my agent has encouraged me to work on my Twitter presence. She said the big publishers are obsessed with it. She says two of her authors were passed over because they didn’t have a Twitter following.
        In fact, one potential publisher watched my recent interview that I’d linked on Twitter and is interested in my WIP!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Iain Kelly Avatar

        It’s the sole reason I am on Twitter, but I’m not sure I can yet credit a single book sale to a tweet. Just something else to keep plugging away at, and distracting from doing the actual writing! Hope something comes of your interview.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. rochellewisoff Avatar

        It is distracting. Even my agent admits that. Don’t think I can attribute any sales to it per se. But I, too, keep on plugging. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  7. wmqcolby Avatar

    I think that about covered everything … I guess.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Is there anything ever that Trump’s America doesn’t claim to have invented?

      Like

  8. justjoyfulness Avatar

    Sigh! I am just waiting for the election to be over and I don’t have to see his face any more. Thankfully, I’m not on Twitter, else I would have lost my mind.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I dont follow him on Twitter, but this one made the main news over here. Fingers crossed for November, I dont know if the rest of the world can take 4 more years,never mind America!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Tannille Avatar

    It seems like everyone is trying to rewrite or erase history these days. Clown world.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Even the White House.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Shweta Suresh Avatar

    I don’t blame you. That one might have been too tempting to ignore. Good one, Iain

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Especially when there’s a Scotsman’s honour at stake!

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Shweta Suresh Avatar

        Definitely!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. msjadeli Avatar

        Iain, I remember seeing something a few years back where Trump tried to buy a Scotsman’s land as part of a golf course. IIRC, orange one didn’t like being told no. I also remember the Scotsman got his revenge 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Iain Kelly Avatar

        He did, he’s still there in the middle of Trump’s golf course! Unfortunately the environmental damage from the golf course couldn’t be prevented and an area of rare moving sand dunes has been lost, and has lost it’s natural heritage status. It’s still a controversial story over here.

        Like

      4. msjadeli Avatar

        😦 How a person can heap that much bad karma upon himself and not implode is a mystery…

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Iain Kelly Avatar

        Yeah, he still seems to be prospering…

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Anita Avatar

    Lots of corrections! 🙂
    Luckily, we have history as our witness!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Even as he tries to rewrite it.

      Like

  12. Sadje Avatar

    Haha! Good one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Sadje

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadje Avatar

        You’re welcome 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Bill Avatar

    Well played and accurate on all counts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
  14. Danny James Avatar

    So real and so sick. Nailed it!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Danny

      Like

  15. Susan A Eames Avatar

    Hilarious – if somewhat alarming! Nice one, Iain.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Susan

      Like

  16. Gabriella Avatar

    Always check the facts before you write, or tweet for that matter. Then you won’t make a fool of yourself.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Very true,but not many people do, or care, particularly President Trump.

      Like

  17. scr4pl80 Avatar

    OMG he’s an idiot and I cannot believe that his followers don’t see it, which I guess means we have a lot of idiots in our country. Sad. Nice story though. Please pray for us for November.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      The rest of the world will be praying alongside you.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. csheldonblog Avatar

    wasn’t expecting that, I was waiting for the president to say he invented washing up!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I’m sure he would claim it if it won him a few votes.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. plaridel Avatar

    most definitely, this president lives in alternate reality.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      He really does.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Fandango Avatar

    🤦🏼‍♂️

    Liked by 1 person

  21. msjadeli Avatar

    Iain, you knocked this one out of the park. The title and the choice of topics are brilliant. You’re a brave soul to tackle one of the orange one’s moronic missives.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I try to ignore, but those one was so deluded and factually wrong it was worth a little riposte.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Aahana Aggarwal Avatar

    Nice take on the prompt!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
  23. magickmermaid Avatar

    He is such an ignorant buffoon. Great story, Iain!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      He truly is. Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. magickmermaid Avatar

        I’m surprised he doesn’t claim he invented the kitchen sink. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  24. Dale Avatar

    Just so you know, I am willing to share Alexander Graham Bell with you… While being Scottish-born, he was Canadian by the time the telephone was invented 😉
    As for the rest… I’d rather not go there, thank you, very much!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Scots-Canadian? I’ll give you that, we’re still claiming the television set, penicillin and golf though 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dale Avatar

        Yes, indeed. And you must claim those! 😉 Thanks to Robin Williams we all know golf is yours!!

        Liked by 1 person

  25. J.A. Prentice Avatar

    Excellent story! Funny and informative.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Brenda's Thoughts Avatar

    I knew I was boycotting social media for a reason (other than my blog). Heavy sigh.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Yes, best to steer well clear of it!

      Liked by 1 person

  27. draliman Avatar

    The scariest thing is that he probably believes he’s telling the truth. And the most ironic thing is that he’s the one who started the whole “stop fake news” thing.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      That’s the weird thing – he’s not actually lying in the strict sense of the word, or aiming to deceive – he just thinks this is actually the truth!

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Arti Avatar

    Enjoyed reading this capsule size modern history lesson dripping with political satire. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Arti

      Like

  29. trishsplace Avatar

    Even in the spirit of fictional commentary, it is nerve wracking presenting any position on any topic these days. Someone will take offense.
    In saying that, I have not. Timely, clever use of the tweet for this prompt.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Yes, there are certain topics where, as a heterosexual white male, it’s just too dangerous for me to state any opinion now, so I avoid.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. trishsplace Avatar

        Middle aged, conservative, white woman (privileged). Apparently not okay to have an opinion that I can share – unless I’m prepared to be beaten back. Which mainly I’m not 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  30. Keith's Ramblings Avatar

    If you’d written this ten years ago as a prediction of what might happen, people would have laughed at it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      It is completely unbelievable where we have ended up, and so depressing how backwards we have become.

      Liked by 1 person

  31. Liz Young Avatar

    Sheee-it! Did he really say that? The man’s a complete moron.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      He really did, and endorsed by the White House.

      Like

  32. doodletllc Avatar

    Hopefully January 20, 2021 will bring new light to the world and let’s throw in defeat of the virus for good measure. I think we can all agree on that. An exceptionally well crafted piece.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Fingers crossed, we’ll know in November!

      Like

  33. Laurie Bell Avatar

    Bahahaha. I did see that tweet and thought it hilarious… everything is just so wrong it makes you laugh and cry at the same time. Mind you there are some who think Australia is made up and is a CIA plot… OMG. I like your breakdown.
    Geezzzz

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Yep, you have to laugh at it, or you would just go mad. But it is disheartening to think there are Americans who really believe all of it…!

      Like

  34. Girl in Niagara Avatar

    You certainly know more than the clowns in the Whitehouse. Let’s hope more people read your Friday Fiction than read those insane tweets. Enough to drive a person mad.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I wish as many people read my blog, I would be a millionaire!

      Liked by 1 person

  35. James McEwan Avatar

    Yes, he forgot to claim the Great Wall of China, you know the one, to keep the Mexicans out.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Ha, you know there’s is the best wall, the only wall like it, the greatest wall ever 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  36. J Hardy Carroll Avatar

    Basketball, jazz, ice cream cones, the phonograph. Also the KKK, Jim Crow, the sweatshop, and the War on Drugs. Well done, thought-provoking piece.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      There are plenty of good US inventions and breakthroughs he could have picked – for some reason he choose to just make up some stuff…

      Like

  37. Nobbinmaug Avatar

    We finally have a chance to fix that mistake in November, but we also have Kanye West who has assurances from God that he will be president in 2020 or 2024. 🤦‍♂️

    Liked by 1 person

  38. michaelwynnauthor Avatar

    Ha, that made me laugh, I didn’t realise he’d actually said all those things until I reached the tweet at the end. There seems to be an inordinate amount of re-writing of history flying about at the moment.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Michael

      Liked by 1 person

  39. subroto Avatar

    That’s his-story lesson for you, each day brings a new lesson 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      The things I thought I knew…!

      Like

  40. Kelley Farrell Avatar

    Ha, ha, ha …. *cries*. Good take Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      You have to laugh, what else can you do? Thanks Kelley

      Like

  41. Moumita De Sarkar Avatar

    Hi Iain, I have nominated your blog for Liebstar Award 2020. You will find the nomination questionnaire and other details here :

    Liebster Award Nomination – 2020

    Thank You 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you Moumita, I am flattered by your nomination. I hope you don’t mind if I don’t take part, I’m not taking part in awards at the moment. Best wishes, Iain.

      Like

      1. Moumita De Sarkar Avatar

        No problem Iain 😊

        Liked by 1 person

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