EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN SINK

‘How about this… Americans harnessed electricity,…’

‘Yes, very good, Mr. President.’

‘…we split the atom…’

‘Well, sir, technically that was a New Zealander.’

‘…we gave the world the telephone…’

‘That was a Scotsman, Sir’

‘…and the internet…’

‘Tim Berners-Lee was an Englishman working in Switzerland.’

‘…we settled the Wild West…’

‘Maybe don’t highlight our record on treatment of native Americans.’

‘…won two World Wars…’

‘Really Mr. President, that’s a ridiculous over-simplification.’

‘…landed American Astronauts on the Moon.’

‘We did do that (although German scientists developed the rockets).’

‘Did I miss anything out?’

‘No, Mr. President, I think that is just about perfect.’


anonymous-kitchen-photo

Written for Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above). I try not to rise to it, but when the President of America rewrites history in a Tweet, I couldn’t resist. It’s funny and at the same time horrifying to see this and many other statements (‘China Virus’ anyone?) coming from the official White House account.

tweet

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.


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96 responses to “EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN SINK”

  1. Thanks, Iain, I was fortunate enough to miss this latest buffoonery from ‘The Leader of the Free World’.
    1984, anyone?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. He can only be beaten by being ignored, but there are those who believe in what he tweets.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Too many believe that sh**.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. A surprising number of people. Worrying times.

        Like

  2. Prepare for the twitter storm in reprisal, Iain

    Liked by 2 people

    1. A personal reply from the President would be badge of honour, or shame perhaps…

      Like

  3. We’ve mastered the art of converting deep shock and bewilderment to humour.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I think because there is nowhere else to go.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Thanks for making me scream into my arm once more.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Please accept my sincerest apologies.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Hyperbole is an art form in itself. Whilst over here Twitter abounds with claim and counter claim over the origins of the Commonwealth and the British Empire. You know what they say about history, and the implications of ignoring it…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If there is one thing I can accept Donald Trump is a world leader in, it is the use of Twitter.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Dear Iain,

    I firmly believe politicians (one in particular) have no business on Twitter. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I wholeheartedly agree. Neither do journalists for that matter.

      Like

      1. However, my agent has encouraged me to work on my Twitter presence. She said the big publishers are obsessed with it. She says two of her authors were passed over because they didn’t have a Twitter following.
        In fact, one potential publisher watched my recent interview that I’d linked on Twitter and is interested in my WIP!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It’s the sole reason I am on Twitter, but I’m not sure I can yet credit a single book sale to a tweet. Just something else to keep plugging away at, and distracting from doing the actual writing! Hope something comes of your interview.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. It is distracting. Even my agent admits that. Don’t think I can attribute any sales to it per se. But I, too, keep on plugging. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  7. I think that about covered everything … I guess.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Is there anything ever that Trump’s America doesn’t claim to have invented?

      Like

  8. Sigh! I am just waiting for the election to be over and I don’t have to see his face any more. Thankfully, I’m not on Twitter, else I would have lost my mind.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I dont follow him on Twitter, but this one made the main news over here. Fingers crossed for November, I dont know if the rest of the world can take 4 more years,never mind America!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. It seems like everyone is trying to rewrite or erase history these days. Clown world.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Even the White House.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I don’t blame you. That one might have been too tempting to ignore. Good one, Iain

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Especially when there’s a Scotsman’s honour at stake!

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Iain, I remember seeing something a few years back where Trump tried to buy a Scotsman’s land as part of a golf course. IIRC, orange one didn’t like being told no. I also remember the Scotsman got his revenge 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. He did, he’s still there in the middle of Trump’s golf course! Unfortunately the environmental damage from the golf course couldn’t be prevented and an area of rare moving sand dunes has been lost, and has lost it’s natural heritage status. It’s still a controversial story over here.

        Like

      3. 😦 How a person can heap that much bad karma upon himself and not implode is a mystery…

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Yeah, he still seems to be prospering…

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Lots of corrections! 🙂
    Luckily, we have history as our witness!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Even as he tries to rewrite it.

      Like

  12. Haha! Good one.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Well played and accurate on all counts.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. So real and so sick. Nailed it!

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Hilarious – if somewhat alarming! Nice one, Iain.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Always check the facts before you write, or tweet for that matter. Then you won’t make a fool of yourself.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Very true,but not many people do, or care, particularly President Trump.

      Like

  17. OMG he’s an idiot and I cannot believe that his followers don’t see it, which I guess means we have a lot of idiots in our country. Sad. Nice story though. Please pray for us for November.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The rest of the world will be praying alongside you.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. wasn’t expecting that, I was waiting for the president to say he invented washing up!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sure he would claim it if it won him a few votes.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. most definitely, this president lives in alternate reality.

    Liked by 2 people

  20. 🤦🏼‍♂️

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Iain, you knocked this one out of the park. The title and the choice of topics are brilliant. You’re a brave soul to tackle one of the orange one’s moronic missives.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I try to ignore, but those one was so deluded and factually wrong it was worth a little riposte.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Nice take on the prompt!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. He is such an ignorant buffoon. Great story, Iain!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He truly is. Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m surprised he doesn’t claim he invented the kitchen sink. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  24. Just so you know, I am willing to share Alexander Graham Bell with you… While being Scottish-born, he was Canadian by the time the telephone was invented 😉
    As for the rest… I’d rather not go there, thank you, very much!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Scots-Canadian? I’ll give you that, we’re still claiming the television set, penicillin and golf though 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, indeed. And you must claim those! 😉 Thanks to Robin Williams we all know golf is yours!!

        Liked by 1 person

  25. Excellent story! Funny and informative.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. I knew I was boycotting social media for a reason (other than my blog). Heavy sigh.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, best to steer well clear of it!

      Liked by 1 person

  27. The scariest thing is that he probably believes he’s telling the truth. And the most ironic thing is that he’s the one who started the whole “stop fake news” thing.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s the weird thing – he’s not actually lying in the strict sense of the word, or aiming to deceive – he just thinks this is actually the truth!

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Enjoyed reading this capsule size modern history lesson dripping with political satire. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Even in the spirit of fictional commentary, it is nerve wracking presenting any position on any topic these days. Someone will take offense.
    In saying that, I have not. Timely, clever use of the tweet for this prompt.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, there are certain topics where, as a heterosexual white male, it’s just too dangerous for me to state any opinion now, so I avoid.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Middle aged, conservative, white woman (privileged). Apparently not okay to have an opinion that I can share – unless I’m prepared to be beaten back. Which mainly I’m not 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  30. If you’d written this ten years ago as a prediction of what might happen, people would have laughed at it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is completely unbelievable where we have ended up, and so depressing how backwards we have become.

      Liked by 1 person

  31. Sheee-it! Did he really say that? The man’s a complete moron.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He really did, and endorsed by the White House.

      Like

  32. Hopefully January 20, 2021 will bring new light to the world and let’s throw in defeat of the virus for good measure. I think we can all agree on that. An exceptionally well crafted piece.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Fingers crossed, we’ll know in November!

      Like

  33. Bahahaha. I did see that tweet and thought it hilarious… everything is just so wrong it makes you laugh and cry at the same time. Mind you there are some who think Australia is made up and is a CIA plot… OMG. I like your breakdown.
    Geezzzz

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep, you have to laugh at it, or you would just go mad. But it is disheartening to think there are Americans who really believe all of it…!

      Like

  34. You certainly know more than the clowns in the Whitehouse. Let’s hope more people read your Friday Fiction than read those insane tweets. Enough to drive a person mad.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wish as many people read my blog, I would be a millionaire!

      Liked by 1 person

  35. Yes, he forgot to claim the Great Wall of China, you know the one, to keep the Mexicans out.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha, you know there’s is the best wall, the only wall like it, the greatest wall ever 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  36. Basketball, jazz, ice cream cones, the phonograph. Also the KKK, Jim Crow, the sweatshop, and the War on Drugs. Well done, thought-provoking piece.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There are plenty of good US inventions and breakthroughs he could have picked – for some reason he choose to just make up some stuff…

      Like

  37. We finally have a chance to fix that mistake in November, but we also have Kanye West who has assurances from God that he will be president in 2020 or 2024. 🤦‍♂️

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Ha, that made me laugh, I didn’t realise he’d actually said all those things until I reached the tweet at the end. There seems to be an inordinate amount of re-writing of history flying about at the moment.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. That’s his-story lesson for you, each day brings a new lesson 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The things I thought I knew…!

      Like

  40. Ha, ha, ha …. *cries*. Good take Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You have to laugh, what else can you do? Thanks Kelley

      Like

  41. Hi Iain, I have nominated your blog for Liebstar Award 2020. You will find the nomination questionnaire and other details here :

    https://snoopym.wordpress.com/2020/08/05/liebster-award-nomination-2020/

    Thank You 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Moumita, I am flattered by your nomination. I hope you don’t mind if I don’t take part, I’m not taking part in awards at the moment. Best wishes, Iain.

      Like

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