BOB’S LAST DAY AT WORK

‘Welcome to the EMIRATES Spinnaker Tower, as I legally have to call it.’

‘It was going to be opened in 2000 and be named the Millennium Tower, but due to political ineptitude, it didn’t open until 2005, so was renamed ‘Spinnaker’, a type of sail.’

‘The tower sits on Gunwharf Quay. In the 18th-century it was an ordnance yard, supplying the Navy with armaments. Now it supplies Portsmouth residents with over-priced consumer goods and refreshments.’

‘From here you can see the English Channel, which separates us from those godawful Europeans, whom we are apparently far superior to.’

‘Enjoy your visit.’


jill-f
Copyright Jilly Funell

Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

Unlike Bob’s cynical tour, Spinnaker Tower in Portsmouth is an impressive structure and well worth a visit – Wikipedia.

102 responses to “BOB’S LAST DAY AT WORK”

  1. I love this tower, the incompetence surrounding it was incredible.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A definite trend among a lot of these big structures – years of planning and political incompetence, but somehow they get there in the end – see The O2 Arena / Millennium Dome as another prime example. At least this one was worth waiting for 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes that was another one. I think it was more a sign of the times. But they really couldn’t organise stuff back then.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I posted it 🙂

        Like

      3. oops… sorry wrong person lol

        Liked by 1 person

  2. A little bit of politics this week, Iain?
    ‘political ineptitude’ and Brexit are synonyms, I think.
    Nice one.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Brexit is the latest phase. I wonder if there ever has been, or ever will be, a time when politics wasn’t/isn’t dominated by ineptitude?

      Like

  3. Bob certainly didn’t hold back! What a way to go!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do like to imagine when I reach my retirement day, I might go round and tell some colleagues some truths before I go!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Ha! I imagine I’d be very similar on my last day. “Welcome, get out.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is a fantasy for sure, I look forward to the day 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. LOL!! I was thinking when I read the title that maybe it was his last day because of getting murdered. Must still have your last post in mind of the hand waving bye! 🙂
    Glad he is still alive and obviously he is not shy about speaking his true feelings. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you – managed to steer away from any bodies in this one 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  6. lol. If he wasn’t planning for it to be his last day, he certainly made sure it was.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Going out in style 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Ha ha, loved the tone of this piece

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Dear Iain,

    The title pretty much says it all. Love the snarky tone of it.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Rochelle, I feel I can do ‘snarky tone’ quite well, not necessarily in writing 😉

      Like

  9. You are still little worked up over Brexit and ‘ineptitude’ seems apt here. Lovely story, Kelly.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Neel – Be prepared, Brexit and the fallout is going to last at least another couple of years – I’ll try to not write about it in every story!! 🙂

      Like

  10. Way to go, Bob. Just hope the pension is fully proofed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They wouldn’t take it off him, would they?…

      Like

  11. I enjoyed this, Iain. You let Bob have a pop at everything, don’t you?!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think he may have been holding it inside for awhile, letting it build up!

      Liked by 1 person

  12. So many millenium projects weren’t ready, but we love them in the end. It was probably the same with Stonehenge…

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Ha, I can just imagine 🙂

      Like

  13. A little delay is not bad. It came up eventually and offers a grand view. Nice story. A little sarcastic.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bob is a very sarcastic man.

      Like

  14. I like Bob. Going out with a bang! (And not a jump as I feared!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No, he would only have jumped if they had told him he had to keep working there for another ten years before he could retire! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  15. It’s rantier than mine, but who doesn’t enjoy a good rant. Speaking of which … that bloody Theresa May! Don’t get me started. And the wee orange bampot in the White House. Nuff said

    Liked by 1 person

    1. In other stories for other prompts I realise I have been going on about politics far too much. I need to find a different topic to take my mind off it all!

      Like

      1. All life is political

        Liked by 1 person

        1. For some reason that fact makes me despair.

          Like

          1. Does all politics is life create more hope?

            Liked by 1 person

            1. You must know some different politicians to the ones I see on the news everyday 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Oh them. They’re life too, but just not as we know it, Captain

                Liked by 1 person

  16. I’m glad some of you knew what this was. It looked like a sail, but I didn’t have any clue, even after I googled the picture 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was designed to look like a sail, so at least you spotted that 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Ouch! I wonder how many people actually see through their intention to get something like this off their chests on their last day. Strangely, the photo reminded me of a visit to Portsmouth Historic Dockyard, when we were looked after by the best guide I’ve ever met at any attraction. I can’t imagine him doing a Bob.
    I enjoyed your take on the prompt Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I should add a disclaimer *other tour guides are available* 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  18. “Overpriced consumer goods and refreshments”… We have quite a few such towers here in the Middle East.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. All these towers, what will they keep filling them with?

      Like

      1. They’re money making machines

        Liked by 1 person

  19. LOL I love Bob! Now if you could turn up the snark a few degrees he would start to sound like some people I know. 😲 Great story Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think everyone has this snarky side – we just don’t say it out loud! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  20. I’ve always wanted to go out in a blaze of glory like Bob. My theater group used to brain storm, on a long drive to a gig, what we’d like to do at our very last ever performance. Not for the faint of heart. 🙂 This made me think of those times, and laugh at Bob’s chutzpah!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, sounds like a great idea – I can just imagine some of the responses, or maybe not! Glad it brought back happy memories 🙂

      Like

  21. Bob won’t lie on his last day at work, would he?
    He can finally let it all out without having to worry about the repercussions.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly! Thank you 🙂

      Like

  22. just telling it like it is on his last day at work. well, he’s entitled to it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. …although the management may not be too pleased 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  23. I am wondering if he said all this(the truth) because it was his last day, or it became his last day when he said all this 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It could work either way round – but I think Bob knew what he was doing either way.

      Liked by 1 person

  24. hahaha – that is funny that wiki said:

    Unlike Bob’s cynical tour, Spinnaker Tower in Portsmouth is an impressive structure and well worth a visit

    and really clever way to expound on that for your fiction
    – still laughing.

    and we took a boat tour in June and the host on the loudspeaker was bias and opinionated and it is really funny when this happens.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you – I think it is always more entertaining and enlightening when you cut through the corporate speak and just be honest about these things 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes – honest and no head games

        Liked by 1 person

  25. I don’t think Bob’s heart is really in it 🙂
    I would have set my story in Portsmouth if I’d recognised the structure. Why is almost everything in this country sponsored by Emirates? I don’t even know what “Emirates” is…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know – we have an Emirates Arena in Glasgow, Manchester has the Emirates Stadium, Emirates Tower… Who are these Emirates? They didn’t build any of these things!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I bet they’ve got a ton of money though…

        Liked by 1 person

  26. As you say, somehow they get there in the end but what amazing incompetence. Maybe those involved shouldn’t start off thinking they are all-powerful. A bit of humble in the pie would be welcome. But Bob, oh I love Bob. Who wouldn’t want to let loose like that on the last day. Go Bob!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I would want to have Bob as my tour guide for sure! 🙂

      Like

  27. Last day of work freed Bob’s tongue to speak his mind. I’ve had those moments when I ached to just say what I thought!! I could feel Bob’s angst, maybe he was fired so he thought, “Why not?” Well-written as always!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Brenda. I would love to be in that position too, where I could just say ‘why not?’!

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Iain, it’s interesting how different ones of us see something different in the photo and what that’s about. I decided to focus more on the stairs and only noticed the sail shape after reading a few of the responses. Bit concerned about Bob’s mindset. Sounds like the type who’d go abroad and complain about the foreigners.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, very possibly, but I think he would complain with a knowing wink and smile 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  29. Bob is a builder, surely he can fix it? Every once in a while everyone needs a good rant 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha, you have no idea how much Bob The builder is watched in my household. I’m a big fan 🙂

      Like

      1. I’ve done my share of watching 😉
        In a way I miss those days, they are precious.

        Liked by 1 person

  30. I love the sarcasm in the tour guide’s voice. Let’s hope no butt cracks were exposed in the building of this tower.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Perhaps Bob’s very final act will be to deliver his own eyeful.

      Like

  31. This is really well-written, Iain! With a bit of attitude and sarcasm yet also quite likable. Love this!
    Blessings to you 🙂 and very interesting post.
    Debbie

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Debbie, so glad you enjoyed 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  32. I like the tone of your story, a sort of world weariness, some cynicism perhaps about how things are. Do the Emirates own the Spinnaker ? Bet Bob is counting the minutes til he leaves. Topical stuff Iain- well done

    Like

  33. Imagine what you can do on your last day at work… I need to make plans.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve been storing up plans for years, but I still have so long to wait!

      Like

  34. Brilliant, a bored cynical tour guide, there must be plenty out there!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think more should speak their mind! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Absolutely, I met a bloke who did gin tours of his distillery the other week, he was bladdered and was telling me I should have gone with him to see it there and then! Would have been fun I think!

        Liked by 1 person

  35. Nice touch, a guide with attitude.

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Before I begin my comment, I wanted to give you 5 stars for having so many comments. It is a testament to your writing. Your descriptive account presented in such an enjoyable way. I felt like I had taken a tour of a historical place. Wonderful 👍
    Isadora 😎

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. Getting lots of comments and feedback makes it worthwhile coming up with these stories each week 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Good writing will do that … 😎

        Liked by 1 person

  37. Sarcasm, sarcasm, sarcasm – but how I love it! Also I am a sucker for historical facts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Anshu, glad you liked it 🙂

      Like

    1. Thank you Lisa, Bob seems to be quite popular 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  38. Nice bit of history I wasn’t aware of

    Liked by 1 person

  39. What a grump!
    You’ve portrayed him well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. But a lovable one! Thanks Dawn.

      Liked by 1 person

  40. I would’ve liked to be there to hear Bob’s rant… it would certainly have been a memorable experience. Topical and humourous take on the prompt.

    Liked by 1 person

  41. I think I’d have enjoyed Bob’s tour, if only for the cyclical humour. Enjoyed the history behind it too. And well done for touching on a very hot topic in such a satirical way.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Fatima 🙂

      Like

  42. Ha! Go, Bob! Now I understand why it’s his last day of work. Very scathing and well done, Iain!

    Liked by 1 person

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