Iain Kelly

Fiction Writing

BIRTHDAY PARTY

Darlene, with a pink bow in her hair, was spun round three times before she stumbled towards the donkey picture.

While everyone was distracted, Marcus and Tommy dipped their fingers into the cake icing and savoured the sweet sugar rush.

Penny stood by the railings in a huff after she had lost out on Pass The Parcel and Musical Statues. It was her birthday after all.

Michael sat in his car watching. He was sweating. He knew he was doing wrong. He knew he should just drive away. He knew he was evil. But the urge wouldn’t leave him alone.

pastedgraphic-9
Copyright J Hardy Carroll

Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

My first novel, ‘A Justified State,’ is available now
‘a first class read from start to finish’ – reader review
Amazon.com / Amazon.co.uk / Book Depository
Amazon.in / Amazon.au / Amazon.ca

Iain Kelly

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98 responses to “BIRTHDAY PARTY”

  1. Tannille Avatar
    Tannille

    A great capture of kids at a party.
    What was Micheal’s deal? I got a kiddy fiddler vibe, but I guess he could be a divorced dad or something.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I think your first instinct was right…

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  2. rochellewisoff Avatar
    rochellewisoff

    Dear Iain,

    My, that took a grim turn at the end. I think what happens next is worse than a few hurt feelings. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I live in hope that he just drives away without having acted on anything he may have wished to do. Thanks Rochelle, hope your trip was good!

      Like

      Reply
  3. Colline Avatar
    Colline

    The end delivers a punch! Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you so much Colline.

      Like

      Reply
  4. neilmacdon Avatar
    neilmacdon

    Chilling little tale, Iain

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Neil

      Like

      Reply
  5. Susan A Eames Avatar
    Susan A Eames

    Now that was unexpected and chilling, Iain. Nicely done.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Susan, much appreciated.

      Like

      Reply
  6. Keith's Ramblings Avatar
    Keith’s Ramblings

    A lovely story – until the very end. Nice one Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Keith

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  7. trentpmcd Avatar
    trentpmcd

    Ouch. I’m assuming adults are around so all he can do is watch, but still, creepy enough….

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Let’s hope so, but even still, not so good.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. trentpmcd Avatar
        trentpmcd

        Agreed.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Kelley Farrell Avatar
    Kelley Farrell

    Oh, chilling. I wonder what Micheal is up to (my mind went to some sort of domestic violence/gun violence). Hopefully he just has social anxiety and feels bad for missing the party.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I fear it may be even worse than what you were imagining… Thanks for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  9. granonine Avatar
    granonine

    Iain, too horrible to contemplate. Evil oozes out onto the page. Really good writing,

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Linda

      Like

      Reply
  10. patriciaruthsusan Avatar
    patriciaruthsusan

    Scary story, Iain. I hope the parents are watching. Michael seems up to no good. Well written. —- Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you – perhaps Michael will listen to the voice inside that is telling him this is wrong.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  11. neeltheauthor- author of WHEN LIFE THROWS THOSE CURVE BALLS Avatar
    neeltheauthor- author of WHEN LIFE THROWS THOSE CURVE BALLS

    What a creepy story and very well written.
    I guess we have written along similar lines, Kelly

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Neel

      Like

      Reply
  12. J Hardy Carroll Avatar
    J Hardy Carroll

    Ominous!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Very.

      Like

      Reply
  13. Stu Avatar
    Stu

    Chilling last paragraph. Took something, to me, that was sad: competition games at a Birthday party. Attention of parents not always focussed.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Stu

      Like

      Reply
  14. joyroses13 Avatar
    joyroses13

    Umm.. wait, I think you forgot to finish the story! That last sentence just does not paint a pretty picture and my mind is going! Good job! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you – not a good picture at all. Thankfully in this case it is purely fiction.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. joyroses13 Avatar
        joyroses13

        I just wish it was sooo fictional that my mind wouldn’t even know what that last sentence was insinuating!

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Fandango Avatar
    Fandango

    Well that certainly took a dark turn.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Yep, it really did.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  16. Darnell Cureton Avatar
    Darnell Cureton

    Sounds a little too real. A reminder we must watch out for the kids. Good story.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Darnell, unfortunately I’m sure it is real

      Like

      Reply
  17. scr4pl80 Avatar
    scr4pl80

    Wow, good thing I don’t have little kids anymore or this would make me paranoid at the next party they went to!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Not a nice topic to think about. I guess we should remember that despite the amount that is reported in the news, it is still a rare occurrence for this to happen.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  18. Alicia Jamtaas Avatar
    Alicia Jamtaas

    Whoa! That went south pretty fast. You captured the party so well ~ then Mr. Creepy stepped in. Kudos.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Alicia

      Like

      Reply
  19. pennygadd51 Avatar
    pennygadd51

    Chilling, Iain.
    Is it too much to hope that Michael – with his awareness that he’s doing wrong – might seek therapy before he does something irrevocable? I do hope so…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      That is the glimmer of hope I suppose – he knows it is wrong so maybe he can stop himself.

      Like

      Reply
  20. patrickprinsloo Avatar
    patrickprinsloo

    That is soooo dark. Por kiddies.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Yes, I was a little apprehensive publishing it. Dark even by my standards.

      Like

      Reply
  21. pensitivity101 Avatar
    pensitivity101

    Sinister Iain……..

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Yep…

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  22. Donna B. McNicol Avatar
    Donna B. McNicol

    Nasty man…a slice of real life, unfortunately.

    DB McNicol
    author, traveler, shutterbug
    Author Blog
    Personal Blog

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks DB

      Like

      Reply
  23. Na'ama Yehuda Avatar
    Na’ama Yehuda

    Creepy man, that last one.
    I hope he drives himself right into therapy.
    As for the kids–lovely description of a birthday party’s complex hierarchies and realities …
    UGH for the creep peep, though…

    Well written, Iain!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you, he does seem to know he needs help, so fingers crossed.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Na'ama Yehuda Avatar
        Na’ama Yehuda

        yeah. hopefully he’ll head to the therapist pronto.

        Liked by 1 person

  24. plaridel Avatar
    plaridel

    i guess he wasn’t invited, so i suppose he planned to crash the party.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Or worse. Thanks for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  25. Fatima Fakier Avatar
    Fatima Fakier

    Oh that sinister twist. He should drive away and head straight to a psychiatrist.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Let’s hope he does.

      Like

      Reply
  26. draliman Avatar
    draliman

    Oh boy. Just when it was bringing back memories of childhood birthday parties, Michael hove into view…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Kinda puts a damper on it.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  27. Abhijit Ray Avatar
    Abhijit Ray

    Everyone had an agenda in this birthday party. What was Michael doing other than watching the birthday girl to be so afraid?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      I am happy your mind is innocent enough to not see the evil that is presented.

      Like

      Reply
      1. Abhijit Ray Avatar
        Abhijit Ray

        I shall read again. What is the evil?

        Like

  28. notestowomen Avatar
    notestowomen

    This is a jolting reminder that there are predators out there. I hope Michael’s sense of wrong is a lot stronger than his urge.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Me too. Thanks for reading.

      Like

      Reply
  29. Dale Avatar
    Dale

    I love how all these things are going on at the same time… though that last one…we could do without. No good. (but wonderful writing)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Dale.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  30. Brenda's Thoughts Avatar
    Brenda’s Thoughts

    The birthday party was well described and the ending unexpected with an expert twist. I also hope Michael drives on by. A reminder we must always be on the guard for predators such as him. Great writing as always!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Brenda.

      Like

      Reply
  31. theministryofshrawleywalks Avatar
    theministryofshrawleywalks

    Jesus H Christ! That was a horrible ending Iain, brilliantly disgustingly repulsively dark. Great stuff as ever!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you. Yep, it was horrible, I admit.

      Like

      Reply
  32. Enkin Anthem Avatar
    Enkin Anthem

    So much creep in so few words. Impressive.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you

      Like

      Reply
  33. Liz Young Avatar
    Liz Young

    We had similar thoughts this week. What’s wrong with us ? Or maybe it’s the world.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      It’s definitely the world. Thanks Liz.

      Like

      Reply
  34. Shirley McCann Avatar
    Shirley McCann

    Uh oh. Sounds like Micheal might be up to no good. Hope she’s careful.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Shirley

      Like

      Reply
  35. subroto Avatar
    subroto

    Now that’s a lovely vignette of a child’s birthday party but with an unexpected ominous ending.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you

      Like

      Reply
  36. Margaret Avatar
    Margaret

    Oh that’s a chilling twist. Well done. I definitely didn’t expect that.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Margaret

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  37. 4963andypop Avatar
    4963andypop

    Hope the adults aren’t too distracted. Nice composition. Using first names to start each paragraph, you lull us into believing we are being told about children at the party, and then–BANG!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you so much

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  38. michaelwynnauthor Avatar
    michaelwynnauthor

    Just read Neel’s and now yours. Well done but leaves a bad taste and please, the next time you are looking for a name for a paedophile, would you mind avoiding Michael.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Ah yes, apologies!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. michaelwynnauthor Avatar
        michaelwynnauthor

        😃

        Liked by 1 person

  39. James McEwan Avatar
    James McEwan

    Great piece, that reminds me of the a Stephen King style..

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      A nice compliment to receive – thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  40. Russell Gayer Avatar
    Russell Gayer

    Boy, that little story made a U-turn for the dark side.
    Let’s hope he can overcome his sick urges.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Russell

      Like

      Reply
  41. bearmkwa Avatar
    bearmkwa

    I’ve got a sniper friend who would gladly “pin” Michael. Want me to give him a holler??? hehe! Great story!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Well, that’s one way to take care of him! Thanks for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  42. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) Avatar
    Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    Oh when a man watches kids in that way…nothing good is coming.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Definitely not. Thanks Bjorn

      Like

      Reply
  43. One Photo, Many Stories | The Diligent Dilettante Avatar
    One Photo, Many Stories | The Diligent Dilettante

    […] Birthday Party, Iain Kelly adds an unwelcome visitor to the […]

    Like

    Reply
  44. Kalpana Solsi Avatar
    Kalpana Solsi

    Hope he is not a party-spoiler/ he knew he was wrong and evil. but he is helpless. the ending was totally unexpected.

    https://ideasolsi65.blogspot.com/2019/05/the-dark-horse.html

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you

      Like

      Reply
  45. Dawn M. Miller Avatar
    Dawn M. Miller

    Scary story!
    The not knowing was the scariest part!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you Dawn, I agree, scary.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  46. Laurie Bell Avatar
    Laurie Bell

    OMG no that last line… nooooo
    Well told Iain

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thanks Laurie.

      Like

      Reply
  47. Inside the Mind of Isadora Avatar
    Inside the Mind of Isadora

    Creepy ending, Iain, too much of that is heard about nowadays.
    A definite timely piece of writing.
    Isadora 😎

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Iain Kelly Avatar
      Iain Kelly

      Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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