‘It seems they broke in and found themselves indisposed.’
‘Indisposed?’
‘The toilet, Sir.’
‘And this is the best chance we have?’
‘Yes, Sir. No fingerprints, no footprints, no strands of hair. A professional job.’
‘Except they forgot to flush, eh? Not brought up right.’
‘No, Sir. We’ve extracted three pieces of loo roll. One is the perfect example.’
‘We can get DNA from it?’
‘And the marks are distinctive too. If we catch them and get them to go the toilet again, we could match the samples.’
‘Individual skidmarks. Hmm. Well, let’s get on with it then.’
Written for Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).
To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.
Also linking to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge for today: Example.
They seem to have got to the bottom of that case
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I sense a lot of puns coming in the comments this week! Thanks Neil
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Sorry
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It’s okay, I’m a fan!
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Eeeyeuch!
What a load of kr*p!
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It’s a dirty job, but someone did it!
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Dear Iain,
I’m flushed from giggling. Skid marks? LOL 😀 Tanks for the fun.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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You’re welcome! Thanks Rochelle 🙂
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LOL! skID – I’m sure it’s a new company name! “skID – we’ll track you”. I’m sure there’s something in it.
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Haha, love that idea! 🙂
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Professional job but with enough clues!
nabbing them and matching samples will be something 🙂
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Glad it’s not my job! 🙂
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Unless it’s an Austin Powers movie, something you don’t hear on the every day cop show…
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Haha, no! Thanks Trent 🙂
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(and I refrained from making a bad pun 😉 )
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That takes detectivism to a whole ‘nother level!
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Their dedication is there for all to see! Thanks Dale, hope you’re well 🙂
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I am, thank you. Just about to put the finishing touches on my FF 🙂 Maybe this week I’ll link it (I didn’t last…)
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Skid marks are finally good for something… 😀
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Unless you don’t want to get caught of course! 🙂
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That’s a shite job!
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…but someone’s got to do it!
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Pretty shit*** job I think.
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I bet it’s not what he thought he would end up doing when he left police college! Thanks Danny
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And we knew sleuthing is a shitty business!
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Literally sometimes!
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I think I’d rather test for DNA!
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They need corroboration in court!
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Skid marks 😂
Maybe a stool pigeon might yield more information.
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Haha, very good 🙂
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Don’t know whether to laugh reading the story or groan at the pun-derful replys. Which crime novel was it where they caught the burglar because he leaned his hand on the wall over the toilet while availing himself of the facilities? Perfect five prints and a palm. But this takes it to a new level 😀
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I must say I am enjoying the puns more than my story! 🙂
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Seems to me the crooks made a clean getaway 🙂
Sometimes I’m really, really glad I’m not a cop!
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Yes, excellent Linda! 🙂
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As all the good puns have already been expressed, all I can say is LOL!
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Haha, the comments have been a laugh this week 🙂
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It’s important to clean up!
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🙂 Thank you!
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Sounds like a case for Hercule Poorot!
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I think you’ve taken it to a new level Keith – I’m not sure it’s a higher one though! 😉
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The job’s not over until the paperwork is done.
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Excellent! 🙂
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LOL!! Oh gosh! I know 2 of my followers who would have so much fun with this story as they are very into PUNS! They have a hay day on my comment page, can make a pun out of anything.
i have to hand it to you for creativity, but I am glad I am not the detective in this case. 🙂
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Everyone loves a good pun! 🙂
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Haha!!
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Haha! That was hilarious. I bet they’ll never do this one on CSI!! Great story, Iain!
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I certainly haven’t seen that episode yet! Maybe they will find inspiration 🙂
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I hope they do. You better get the well deserved accreditation too.
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You had me spitting out coffee on this one. Hilarious!
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Thanks so much (sorry about the coffee!)
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You’re very welcome 🙂
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I wonder if Hercule Poirot would have been up to this case! I think his little gray cells would have taken a bathroom break.
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I can’t imagine Poirot involved in something so vulgar! 🙂
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Softly, softly, eh Iain? Puppies are on the case. Fun take.
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Haha, I can’t confirm if it was Andrex branded or not!
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You get less sheets per roll with Andrex too. LOL
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“Individual skidmarks” hahaha!!
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🙂
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“Individual skidmarks” LOL!!
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Revoltingly funny! Filthy man!!
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Me or them? 🙂
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i think there’s a way now to extract dna from human feces. i hope they are caught soon. 🙂
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Yuck, well, I suppose if it helps solve crimes…!
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Urk! I bet that investigative technique is not covered in the police manual 🙂
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They’ll need to update it then! 😉
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I love your irresistible writing, Iain! Thank you for sharing these laughter making gems. Michael
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Thanks Michael, glad it gave you a chuckle! 🙂
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In the criminal justice system, fecally-based offenses are considered especially anus. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Fecal Victims Unit.
I would not want that job.
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Lots of great puns here, but as far as I’m concerned, you win the prize! 😀
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I’ll take that prize. Thank you.
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Haha – brilliant, and at the same time, have the puns gone too far! 🙂
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Don’t envy the detectives. Hope they”re able to flush “em out. Oh well, not so good with puns, but very creative story and comments! 🙂
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A fine effort 🙂
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Ewwwwwwwww Iain!
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It’s a dirty job, but… 🙂
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You gotta do what ya gotta do …. ewwww!!!
Be Safe 😷 … Isadora 😎
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Thanks Isadora, hope you’re safe and well.
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I guess you could piece together quite a lot of info from skid marks and used toilet paper. I can just hear the forensic findingss read out in court by someone with a stentorian voice. An interesting take on the prompt, Ian. It got me thinking about the basic, sometimes gross everyday things that can be used in evidence to secure a conviction.
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Thanks Sarah, although I’d rather not think about them! 🙂
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Yuk, Iain and yuk again. Each skid mark individual to the perpetrator. I worried mine was too defecation based. 🙂
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There’s a few ‘dirty’ stories this week! Thanks Michael
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Niceley done — groogh. I had a sinking feeling from the start of the story that it would end where it did end !
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It always descends to toilet humour in the end! 🙂
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I guess that someone has to do the job,
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Exactly
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Disgusted and yet intrigued. Is my emotional state at this moment. Also more than a touch of amusement.
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Glad it made you laugh 🙂
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