Max stared at the wall. He threw the chewed paperclip into the plastic cup and picked up a fresh one.
‘How many is that?’ Darcy asked from across the cubicle divide.
‘Ten.’ Max answered, putting the new paperclip between his teeth.
‘You’re not functioning well today.’
‘A-ha!’ Max shouted and spat out the paperclip. Leaning forward he wrote on the crossword. ‘D-y-s-f-u-n-c-t-i-o-n-a-l. ‘An inability to work with hollowed-out dry and stiff ointment.”
He threw the newspaper down in triumph.
Darcy looked over at him. ‘Can we get on with actual work now?’
‘I’m all yours. Remind me to order more paperclips later.’

Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).
To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.
97 responses to “DYSFUNCTIONAL”
Superb use of the prompt. Lian, i simply loved this story. The last line was just fab.
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Thanks Neel, very kind. Glad you liked it 🙂
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Reblogged this on O LADO ESCURO DA LUA.
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Just awesome!
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Thank you Annie 🙂
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Lol. Nice ending
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🙂 I like to try and have a little chuckle at the end, glad you liked it.
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Nice wee chuckle there x
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Hahaha! Reminds me somewhat of a memo put out in the production offices of the original Star Trek. The associate producer mentioned in passing a guy (possibly a story editor) who he said will not be allowed into his office and not to “eat the leaves off of my philodendron. He will have to find emotional nourishment elsewhere.” Same with the paperclips guy, in a way. Good little yarn there. Very real and fun! Nice work, Iain. 🙂
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Haha, nice anecdote. Thank you, you are very kind.
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I have not used paperclips… but I do remember eating up my pencils… I miss it… haven’t found a way to chew the keyboard yet.
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Ha, I wonder if there are chewed laptops and tablets lying around offices somewhere!
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Cell phones maybe?
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Such a cute post, I could imagine this happening
Click Here to see what Mrs. Dash Says
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Thank you 🙂
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Ha. OCD at its finest.
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Some things just have to be done before anything else 🙂
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such a fun read! wonderfully written.
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Thank you.
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Great take on the prompt, Iain. I love a good cryptic crossword too. But not to the extent that I’d consume paper-clips.
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I confess that I do this with paperclips when I’m working sometimes, though not while doing crosswords!
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Hahaha 🙂 Sounds like a real life story. hehehe 😛
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Thank you 🙂
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Sounds more like an attentional disorder, in this case, being hyperfocused on one task and unable to prioritize which is more important. Well done.
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Thanks James
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Hysterical laughter, oops sorry about the paperclip spray. I just had few tucked in as I’m marking out pages… hehehehe!
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Haha, thank you, glad it gave you a smile 🙂
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Exactly how I feel this morning 🙂
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I hope you get the crossword finished! 🙂
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This made me smile!
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Ah, glad I managed to make you smile! 🙂
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Well done Iain. This was good fun to read. Cheers, Varad
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Thank you Varad
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Thats a new use for paper clips, and more work for the dentist.
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Depends how difficult the crosswords are!
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The thought of chewing on paper clips makes my teeth hurt, not to mention all the cuts in my mouth it would make. Great story!
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His dentist is going to wish this habit were contagious.
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Depends how hard you chew them! Thanks for reading 🙂
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Work? Work is for squares and for people who like to eat apparently.
Fun story,
Tracey
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Thanks Tracey
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loved the simple vignette . paper clips seem to set the brains to ruminate.
http://ideasolsi65.blogspot.in/2017/07/thank-you-claire-sheldon-for.html
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A little ADD behaviour… chew on the paperclip whilst the brain works on something else! Whatever works, I say… though metal on my teeth… blech!
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Little bit of iron is good for you, right?
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Ummmm…😁
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like it 🙂 there staple by the way everyone I have taken out of anything since I started working where I am now….
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Sounds like a great job 🙂
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Terribly fun! Although, I worked at a dental office for 23 years and the thought of what chewing paperclips would do to one’s teeth…..
Thanks for a well-done story.
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Thank you Alicia
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Dear Iain,
The thought of chewing on paperclips makes my teeth hurt, but your story made me smile. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle, always happy to get a smile from you 🙂
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Hehe loved this! I had a little giggle at the end there. I’ve known a few Maxes in my career.
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Thank you, glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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if he learns to spit them into the plastic cup instead, he may make it to the America Got Talent contest. just thinking. 🙂
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A better or worse use of his time? I’m not sure which 🙂
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Haha, great story Iain! Those crosswords can be tricky 😉
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Thanks Jade 🙂
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Oh that’s kind of gross but I guess the things we do to avoid work. I wonder if it hurts his teeth, scrapes of enamel or something. Great write 👍
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I bet a lot of us have little habits that others would think gross but we think nothing of! And, yes, I have lots of ways to avoid doing actual work! Thanks Mandi 🙂
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That’s a good reflection of office life. Bravo.
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Thanks Patrick
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Did you work out that cryptic clue or did you read it somewhere? Still trying to work it out … Nicely doen there, Iain, with great dialogue
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I confess, I searched for it – a Sunday Times one I think it was. I’m useless at cryptic crosswords!!
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Ha! Me too! My other half probably could have worked it out – he’s a bit of a whizz at these things. Might challenge him to answer this when he gets home 🙂
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I bet “Paperclips R Us” loves tricky crosswords! Sounded very true to life.
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Thank you. Even in today’s digital world, I wonder how many millions of paperclips are sold each day.
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What a fun story. Chewing on paper clips does sound painful though.
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Thank you
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Good one!! Very clever. Tho i cant imagine chewing in paperclips is good for ones teeth!
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Never done mine any harm 🙂
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You have thoroughly freaked out my teeth. That gave me the creepy crawlies. 🙂
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I’ve heard of people biting 16 penny nails in two, but I guess paper clips work in a crunch. Great humor in this one, my friend.
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Thank you.
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I often wish I could order nails – fingernails 😉 Neatly done Iain 🙂
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Thanks Dahlia
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The question is, what will he chew on when he has demolished all his teeth, if he doesn’t choke to death first? I think he should give up crosswords before they kill him. I love the last two lines. It’s amazing how people can convince themselves that all sorts of things are work. Still, I’m sure that doing crosswords is better for the brain than keeping on checking Facebook during working hours!
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That’s true, good for the brain.
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Great stuff – loved it!
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Thanks Liz
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I like your take on the photo prompt. Perhaps, he should try chewing on gum. It would be safer for his teeth. haha
Isadora 😎
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Good thinking, thank you.
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Sometimes you just need a staple diet. I am impressed by the ability to slam dunk chewed paperclips. Nice one.
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Ha ha, good one 🙂
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That can not be good for his teeth. Interesting take on the prompt.
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Thanks Adam
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It made my teeth hurt but it was a fun read!
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Thanks Amie
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Very well done. I personally can’t imagine chewing a paperclip (and ouch), but it’s a great take on the prompt.
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Thank you Sascha
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Ha ha…made laugh 🙂
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Thanks Dawn 🙂
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[…] IainKelly […]
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And I thought biting fingernails was bad. Paper clips would definitely lead to later dental bills.
— Suzanne
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Thanks Suzanne!
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Yikes for his teeth! Excellent story, funny and succinct.
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Thank you.
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LOL. Love where you took this. I don’t get cryptic crosswords at all. But how do his teeth hold up with all that paperclip worrying?
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Thanks Sarah. I’m terrible at cryptic clues too.
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