‘They symbolise the whirling mass of humanity that will flow beneath, replicating the whirling music from the orchestra,’ the artist opined to his guests.
‘Wonderful.’
‘Enchanting.’
‘They will each be placed in the optimum position to ensure the acoustics of the hall, will not be compromised.’
Nodding heads of agreement and contemplation.
‘If you will follow me through to the restrooms, I will show you the acoustically satisfying toilet bowls which follow the same vortex pattern.’
Gary, the joiner, watched them leave, scratched his chin and contemplated how the hell he was going to hang this contraption from the bloody ceiling.

Written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).
To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.
This April I am taking part in the A to Z Challenge once again. My theme is a collection of stories from around the countries of the European Union, and you can find them here: A TO Z CHALLENGE 2018
Not sure toilet bowls would be a big concern of mine relative to the symphony, though they’re important for other reasons.
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It’s all in the details James 🙂
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This has me laughing so much. Try not to imagine the acoustics of the toilet bowls, I dare you. That was great, from the pompous artist to the hard working joiner.
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Thank you 🙂
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Ha ha ha! I love Gary’s realism! Such a contrast to the pretentious comments of the artist. I love the toilet humour too! Great writing, Iain – very entertaining!!
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Thank you Edith 🙂
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🙂 🙂 🙂
Still laughing.
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Good to give a little laugh 🙂
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Love this! Pomposity versus practicality.
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Thank you Liz
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Love the contrast. You really captured them both.
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Thank you!
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😂😂😂😂 I love Gary’s toilet humour
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Thank you 🙂
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Took me a minute to figure out that a joiner would be a plumber in America, and now I can’t stop laughing 🙂
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Glad you were able to get the laugh in the end.
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The contrast was laughable. Loved this.
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Thanks Neel, glad it gave you a laugh
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I love this Iain. Brings forth a whole new meaning to Tubular Bells.
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Haha, yes indeed! 🙂
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or should that be Tubular Bowls??
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🙂
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I wonder what they have lined up for the cafeteria?
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I suspect something more than a few square tables and chairs and a toastie machine! 🙂
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Gary will need an apprentice.
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You make a nice contrast between the pretentious artist and the practical joiner. And I can’t help wondering what the toilet sounds like…
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It sounds beautiful, trust me 🙂
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🙂
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I like this. I was thinking about writing a story where the interior decorator gets fired for choosing such weird fixtures but they wind up using them anyway because they were so expensive. This story does a better job of that same theme. Well done.
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Thank you, I like your idea too.
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Dear Iain,
Everyone is an artist in one way or the other. You started our road trip with a chuckle. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Glad to have been of service, have fun! 🙂
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I am with Gary, Iain, hHow in heaven’s name…
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Ha! I like the vortex toilet bowl idea – I think that would would work brilliantly. Poor Gary, having to make the ‘vision’ practical
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Behind every great artist there are the workers who make it all happen. Actually typing that makes me think of my job as a TV editor, working behind the scenes, making the talent look good – oh my, I’m basically Gary!
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You are Gary! Hopefully your job isn’t quite so frustrating 🙂
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Love this–the engineer vs. the dreamer. I’ve seen this so often.
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Thanks Jacqui 🙂
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This was so much fun, Iain. Musical toilets… I can just imagine them 😉
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Thanks Dale, why not eh? I’m surprised no one has installed them yet 🙂
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Really… would make the timid piddlers a little more comfortable knowing no one could hear them 😉
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Very funny story – and I have an idea thatmany similar conversations have happened. There is always that conflict between designer and executor. I am sure this is a thing of great asthetic beauty – but how the bleepin’ hell am I supposed to fix it in place?
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Yes, you can see the angry artist and exasperated builder having a running argument!
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I love Gary. Wonderful story.
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Thank you Lisa – I like him too!
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I liked your story. So true, thoughts with no thought as to how to make it happen. Leave that to someone else.
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Thank you.
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oh yes, toilet bowls have the distinct acoustics. just after lunch break, when i visit the restroom at work, i often hear it accompanied by a medley of sounds like cracks of thunder before the downpour, often followed by sighs of relief. 🙂
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Oh my! 🙂
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A delightful take on a Full of Himself artist.
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Thanks Alicia
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Ha ha ha, the design does fit more naturally with a toilet bowl than with whatever the hell it is right now (I’m guessing they are lights).
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🙂 It’s all about the aesthetics.
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I’ve got to get me one of those “acoustically satisfying toilet bowls” 🙂
I don’t think Gary cares about the acoustics, he has more practical concerns!
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Wait until he starts having to install those toilets!
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Haha – gotta love a bit of toilet humour! Very clever, Iain 🙂
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Thank you – sorry for lowering the tone! 🙂
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From the arty-farty speech of the artist to the pragmatism of the joiner…..you got the right mix here. Enjoyable!
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Thanks Vivian 🙂
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This made me laugh, not only because of the haughty descriptions of the artist, but when you mentioned the acoustics of the toilet, it brought to mind toilets in Japan, and how they play music. 🙂 Fun interpretation of the prompt!
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Thank you Jan, always good to give a laugh 🙂
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LOL. Confuse the crowd with acoustics and leave the joiner wondering how to do it. I’ve never thought of toilet acoustics – a whole new world of sound may open up to me.
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Haha, you could get some installed in your bathroom 😉
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😄
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Brilliant, Iain.🙂
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Thank you Moon 🙂
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Lol, fun read!
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Thank you.
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Bahahaha love that last bit. Onya Gary! The reality of a dream doesn’t match the vision. Haha
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Thanks Laurie 🙂
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It was a perfect – and FUNNY – melding of photo and word.
The term toilet humor will never be the same for me ;)~
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Thank you Frances
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Oh Gary…
Nice one Iain. Couldn’t stop smiling. 😊
“…acoustically satisfying toilet bowls which follow the same vortex pattern.’”
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Thanks Norma, glad to make you smile 🙂
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Haha, love it. Such a delight observing perspectives 🙂
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Thank you 🙂
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Hahahahah! acoustics of toilet bowls indeed! Alan, have you published your books yet? I would love to read!
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Nothing published yet, but a novel in the works. When I do I will be sure to put it on my blog 🙂
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I saw toilet analogy coming in the first paragraph–the whirling. 🙂
Great piece. I wondered how they hung them too.
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Thanks Russell
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I loved the final sentiment from Gary, the feeling of listening to all the culture talk, while he is the only one doing the hard work
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Isn’t that always the way. Thanks James.
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I love how you brought this full circle. 😉
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Thank you Dawn.
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Ha! Ha! I wonder if he is taking the piss out of them. Literally 😉
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I wonder how many artists chuckle at what they manage to get away with! 🙂
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Most entertaining – love the pomposity of the Arty person – sort of believable …and the plumber is a perfect ending.
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Thank you 🙂
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The poor guy has a dilemma, the practical meets the dreamer. Very entertaining story! I always enjoy your stories. =)
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Thank you Brenda, so kind of you to say 🙂
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I wonder if anyone actually aspires to design “acoustically satisfying toilet bowls”. 😉
Let’s hope Gary manages to hang the contraption securely, so it doesn’t end up landing on some poor music lover’s head.
Enjoyed your take on the prompt. I could easily imagine the tour taking place in the place in the picture.
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Thank you. I’m sure someone, somewhere must have looked at the acoustics of toilet bowls 🙂
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Haha! love this! Behind every whimsical notion is the uncredited efforts that make that notion work.
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Thank you so much, glad you liked it.
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The acoustics of the toilet bowls, oh my word! ha ha! really enjoyed this story, Iain. I liked how Gary has to actually make the acoustics work despite all the grand talk of the artist.
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Thank you Fatima, always good to raise a laugh 🙂
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Flush twice, it’s a long way to the art museum Lol
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Fantastic contrasting voices. As usual the designer has no given no forethought to the poor person who will have to erect his contraption. However, I’m a little worried about those acoustically satisfying toilets.
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They’re great, trust me 🙂
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