TUNNEL VISION

Focus. Clear your mind. Think of nothing else but the next hundred metres.

Block everything out beyond the borders of your lane. Tunnel vision – the start line to the finish line and nothing else.

Remember your training: concentration; balance; commitment.

‘On your marks.’ You step forward, steady yourself, one last look into the crowd to see your father staring back at you. You can do this, his eyes encourage.

‘Set.’ Shut everything else out. Deep breath. Wait for the starter gun.

Go on the ‘B’ of the ‘Bang.’

Your off and running. Let if flow, don’t worry about what the others are doing. Run your own race.

Cheers and shouts from the sidelines, ignore them, don’t be distracted. Someone nearby pulls up. No one else is in sight, the finish line is approaching.

You run through the tape first, you have done it, the winner!

You throw your hands in the air, only then realising that your egg is no longer on your spoon.

Dad is there and puts a comforting arm around your shoulder.

‘Unlucky,’ he says. You see your egg lying forlornly on the ground fifty metres back down the track. ‘Maybe next year.’


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Copyright Susan Spaulding

Written as part of Sunday Photo Fiction. Write a story of around 200 words based on the photo prompt given (above). Hosted by Susan Spaulding. For more details visit HERE.

To read more of the stories based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

35 responses to “TUNNEL VISION”

  1. pensitivity101 Avatar

    This is so sweet Iain! I didn’t expect the ending.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you, glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. pensitivity101 Avatar

        I like your style Iain.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Vivian Zems Avatar

    Awww…ell, I’m sure even Usain Bolt had a few mishaps like this one. Nice build in tension.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Everyone has to start somewhere! Thanks Vivian 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. ceayr Avatar

    I guess we’ve all dropped our egg sometime, Iain

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Indeed we have.

      Like

  4. James Avatar

    A well played ending, Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks James

      Like

  5. Liz H Avatar

    Egg-cellent!
    (Sorry…no, not really) 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I knew someone would have to… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Liz H Avatar

        My work here is finished–glad to step up & get it over with! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  6. mandibelle16 Avatar
    mandibelle16

    Cute story Ian. Egg races are impossible lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Mandi, I was never an expert at them 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Donna B. McNicol Avatar

    Great ending! I had to read it twice, I enjoyed it so much.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Donna, that is pleasing to hear 🙂

      Like

  8. Antoinette Truglio Martin Avatar
    Antoinette Truglio Martin

    Wonderful piece in second person. I find it so hard to write second person.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Me too, I tend to only do it sparingly and in short pieces. Glad you noticed and appreciated it 🙂

      Like

  9. Larry S Avatar

    Nice funny ending! Well-written!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks so much Larry 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Keith's Ramblings Avatar

    Hopefully, the 3-legged race went better! Nice one Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Best not to talk about that, or the sack race!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Sarah Ann Avatar
    Sarah Ann

    Such focus and dedication is what a runner needs. Pity about the egg though. There are always these little hurdles put in the way…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      🙂 Thanks Sarah Ann

      Like

  12. Liz A. Avatar

    Oh, those egg races… Maybe next year.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      I could never master ’em!

      Like

  13. StuHN Avatar

    Intense kid; insensitive dad.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      It’s a fine line between encouragement and pushing.

      Like

  14. Frances D Avatar

    I felt like crying – poor kid – awwww!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Frances – he’ll bounce back 🙂

      Like

  15. Dahlia Avatar

    At least he ran the race well! The second person narrative was unique and nicely done Iain

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thank you so much 🙂

      Like

  16. Susan Avatar

    Wonderfully written with a great twist at the end. I literally felt the ‘gotcha’. Nicely done Iain.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Iain Kelly Avatar

      Thanks Susan 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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