OTHER BRANDS ARE AVAILABLE

~ Iain Kelly

‘HÄAGEN-DAZS KILLER STRIKES AGAIN!’ screamed the headline, as did executive Peter Jenkins.

It was a PR disaster. That was three. Each bloodied corpse left with a half-eaten tub of Häagen-Dazs next to it.

The latest theory: the killer was following people who bought Häagen-Dazs, killing them, then eating the ice-cream.

‘What flavour this time?’ his assistant, Malcolm, asked.

‘Summer Berries and Cream, it blends with the blood as it melts.’

‘Have you seen this, sir? On the inside cover?’

‘What?’ snapped Jenkins.

‘Ben & Jerry’s have got a new advert out.’ Malcolm held up the full page advertisement:

‘OTHER ICE CREAM BRANDS ARE AVAILABLE.’

ice-cream-naama-yehuda
Copyright Na’ama Yehuda

Written for Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (more details HERE). The idea is to write a short story of 100 words based on the photo prompt (above).

To read stories of 100 words based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

I’m not sure how well this joke will travel around the world, but in the UK, the public service broadcaster the BBC must not promote or advertise specific brands, so the well-used phrase ‘other brands are available’ has become a bit of a catchphrase. And I work there, so I couldn’t let the Häagen-Dazs picture go without referencing it!

cropped-trilogy-banner-1.jpg

FOLLOW THE LINKS BELOW
A JUSTIFIED STATE:  U.S.A. – AMAZON.COM      UNITED KINGDOM     AUSTRALIA    CANADA    INDIA
STATE OF DENIAL:  U.S.A. – AMAZON.COM      UNITED KINGDOM     AUSTRALIA      CANADA   INDIA

Published by Iain Kelly

39 year old writer, avid film viewer and book reader, employed in the media industry as a television editor.

73 thoughts on “OTHER BRANDS ARE AVAILABLE”

  1. Ice cream turns nasty… And I thought razor blades were to watch out for.

    Haha “other brands available” I thought meant ruthless businesses were cashing in on the crimes.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. Dear Iain,

    The advertising world is something else, isn’t it? I’m making note of which flavors blend well with blood. You never know when that info will come in handy. Good one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. One of those ones to file under truth is stranger than fiction – I’m sure advertising companies are involved in quite a few schemes to help their brands!

      Like

      Reply

  8. Hi Iain,
    Didn’t know you worked at the BBC. For me over in Australia, it almost seems like a mythical creation although my grandmother played the piano there in 1938-1939 and was due to appear when war was announced and the BBC shut down. Loved the phrase “other brands available” Sounds very English and BBC-like.
    Great story and I’ll quote another reader’s “gruesomely funny”.
    I haven’t been too active on the blogging front lately as I’ve been researching the Australian troops in France during WWI. Our son will be heading over to Europe on a school excursion in April for ANZAC Day and I wanted him to know about our family members who served there and the thing got right out of control and I can see several book projects and stories coming out of it, although I need to get one finished first. Or, even started. The research phase has proved addictive.
    Anyway, Happy New Year and all that.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Glad to hear you are well and still researching. Looking forward to seeing the results of all the research. I agree, it is a very BBC thing to say! Hope you have a great year and had a decent break over the holidays, Iain

      Like

      Reply

  15. Great story, Iain – highly entertaining. I tell you what, though – I wouldn’t want to be in Malcom’s shoes, giving that bad news to his manager. He’ll be lucky if it’s only his job he loses!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks Brenda – the cynicism is in the story – we all now know what some companies will do to get ahead – but I’m pretty sure Ben & Jerry’s wouldn’t resort to this!

      Like

      Reply

  21. There’s a popular phrase- “I scream. You scream. We all scream for ice-scream.”
    When the screaming turns to “killing” for ice-cream, it’s scary!
    Imaginative tale involving marketing & PR! Yes, competitors do come out with such ads to lure customers from rival brands!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  23. Clearly Ben & Jerry’s are paying a hitman to discredit Haagen Daz aficionados or they really believe their ice cream is a safe choice for people and not the target of the mad iceman.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Gravatar
WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Cancel

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.