'Are we there yet?' Archie asked. He was feeling claustrophobic in the hermetically-sealed caravan. Agnes peered out the kitchen window as the countryside whizzed by along the autoroute, 'Not yet, just passed Paris.' 'Maybe we should have picked somewhere closer than the Mediterranean?' 'You wanted warm sunshine and the beach.' Agnes brought the coffee over … Continue reading A CHANGE OF SCENERY
'You're a meme!' said Agnes. 'A what-what now?' said Archie. 'A meme. That photo of you from Christmas last year?' 'The one where I was dressed up in your...' 'No, not that one.' 'Because that was just for playing the dame in the panto.' 'Yes, dear. No, the one where you opened the present from … Continue reading CONFUSED ME(ME)
Agnes was getting all the sympathy. Each friend that popped round to see her with flowers and fruit and chocolates gave Archie the same look - a shake of the head, a sigh and raised eyebrows. True, Agnes had her ankle strapped up and needed crutches to get around (although Archie was sure she was … Continue reading THE BRIDE’S PARENTS
Shovelling the seaweed away, Agnes was not happy. 'Fourth time this year,' she muttered and threw a disgruntled stare at the waves lapping against the ineffective flood wall. Archie pulled up in the hire van. He drove over the seaweed Agnes had spent the last hour gathering into one neat pile. 'Next lot ready?' he … Continue reading CRABBIT
It was all too much: those young bronzed bodies, those small swimsuits. He just had to get closer. The overhanging tree under which they sought shade provided his opportunity. He slowly shimmied up until he was almost directly above them. Just as he was beginning to admire the view his mobile phone vibrated in his … Continue reading AXING THE SHOW
