'You're a meme!' said Agnes. 'A what-what now?' said Archie. 'A meme. That photo of you from Christmas last year?' 'The one where I was dressed up in your...' 'No, not that one.' 'Because that was just for playing the dame in the panto.' 'Yes, dear. No, the one where you opened the present from … Continue reading CONFUSED ME(ME)
He tried not to tense. Stay relaxed, but focussed. He was sweating in the warm sun, the droplets of moisture ran into his eyes. He blinked them away and carried on. Almost there. He skilfully removed the bone, held between the small tweezers, from the opening in the arm and when he drew the instrument … Continue reading OPERATION LOCKDOWN
Agnes was getting all the sympathy. Each friend that popped round to see her with flowers and fruit and chocolates gave Archie the same look - a shake of the head, a sigh and raised eyebrows. True, Agnes had her ankle strapped up and needed crutches to get around (although Archie was sure she was … Continue reading THE BRIDE’S PARENTS
'We've won!' Archie tore through the house in just his pants and burst into the kitchen, where Agnes was preparing breakfast. 'We've won!' 'Alright, don't get hysterical, it's only an election in another country.' 'Not that. This!' Archie pointed at the smartphone in his hand. 'What's this?' 'I've got an email from the National Lottery. … Continue reading HYSTERIA
Shovelling the seaweed away, Agnes was not happy. 'Fourth time this year,' she muttered and threw a disgruntled stare at the waves lapping against the ineffective flood wall. Archie pulled up in the hire van. He drove over the seaweed Agnes had spent the last hour gathering into one neat pile. 'Next lot ready?' he … Continue reading CRABBIT
