Tag: holiday
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A VERY BRITISH DAY OUT
‘Take the next left onto B709,’ says the satnav. ‘Where is she taking us?’ says the passenger. ‘I’m just following the directions, dear,’ says the driver. ‘Are we there yet?’ From the backseat. ’10 minutes away,’ says the passenger, ‘I can see the castle from here.’ ‘You said that 5 minutes ago!’ ‘It’s these bloody […]
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INTERVENTION
Moonlight glinted off her pale body. The time for sacrifice was upon them. She squirmed and pulled against the ropes that bound her wrists and ankles. A chant was intoned around her by the hooded wraith-like figures, gradually increasing in volume and intensity. The leader of the group, marked by his impressive horned headpiece stepped […]
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A PIZZ A’ NONSENSE
‘Looks more like a wedding cake about to fall over than a pizza.’ ‘A pizza?’ ‘The Leaning Tower of Pizza.’ ‘No, it’s Pisa.’ ‘That’s what I said, Pizza. Anyway, don’t worry about the photo, I can straighten that up in Photoshop.’ ‘No, it’s meant to lean over like that.’ ‘That’s ridiculous, who built that?’ ‘It […]
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CLOUD SPOTTING
Agnes held the cloud spotting book up to the sky. ‘Cumulonimbus, I’m sure of it. What do you think?’ ‘I see a dragon breathing fire.’ ‘Very good, but I’m trying to spot the actual types of clouds. 10 points for a Cumulonimbus, quite a common one.’ Archie sighed. This was not the Hawaii vacation he […]
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A CHANGE OF SCENERY
‘Are we there yet?’ Archie asked. He was feeling claustrophobic in the hermetically-sealed caravan. Agnes peered out the kitchen window as the countryside whizzed by along the autoroute, ‘Not yet, just passed Paris.’ ‘Maybe we should have picked somewhere closer than the Mediterranean?’ ‘You wanted warm sunshine and the beach.’ Agnes brought the coffee over […]
Iain Kelly 