Tag: funny
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STUMBLE AND FALL
The sun was too weak to melt away the compacted ice. The pathway was pitted and rutted. ‘Like a metaphor for life,’ said Michael, as we walked along. ‘It’s only smooth for little bits here and there, the rest is stumbling your way through.’ ‘Are those supposed to be words of encouragement?’ I was irritable.…
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CLIMAX
He was close. The big moment was coming. They were covered in sweat, exhausted after two hours of constant exertion – it would all be worth it for the exultation that he was building up to. He smiled at her and took in the scene, never wanting to forget it. She looked back in wonder,…
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A BOOT IN THE…
Talk about kicking someone when they’re down. No job, no money. Now the car had packed in. What next? He aimed a kick at the car door and felt the bone in his foot crack. ‘Sonovabitch!’ He crumpled in agony. ‘That’ll be a fracture,’ said a voice from above. He looked up at the postman.…
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FOR THE GOOD OF YOUR ELF
‘It’s November!’ ‘To the Elf Mobile!’ Reginald couldn’t share the enthusiasm of his co-workers. After months of hard toil in the workshop, ‘the season’ was upon them, all building towards ‘the big night’. It was too much for him. And it seemed to come around quicker every year. He just wanted to have a good…
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A VERY BRITISH DAY OUT
‘Take the next left onto B709,’ says the satnav. ‘Where is she taking us?’ says the passenger. ‘I’m just following the directions, dear,’ says the driver. ‘Are we there yet?’ From the backseat. ’10 minutes away,’ says the passenger, ‘I can see the castle from here.’ ‘You said that 5 minutes ago!’ ‘It’s these bloody…
Iain Kelly 