Tag: humor
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CARMAGEDDON INSURANCE COMPANY
INSURANCE CLAIM FORM IN YOUR OWN WORDS PLEASE DESCRIBE THE ACCIDENT: My cat, Marcela, gave birth to kittens – Huey, Dewey, Louie, Donald and Daisy. This event led directly to my car accident on the 4th of December. I was running late due to several factors: My alarm didn’t go off as Marcela had knocked…
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SURVIVING THE APOCALYPSE
On the wall hung the cracked television they couldn’t watch because there was no electricity. The kitchen had an old cooker and refrigerator but without power they were merely metal cupboards. And now this. ‘What do you think? Our new bathroom suite.’ ‘Where did you get them from?’ ‘Found them. Minor defects but perfectly intact.…
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CAVE ART
‘Dan,’ she called urgently in a hushed whisper. Dan turned and saw Amy beckoning him. He stepped back from the tour group. ‘What is it?’ ‘Stand in front of us.’ ‘Why?’ ‘Just stand in front of us. Look what she did now.’ Dan peered round Amy. Their daughter, Chloe, grinned at him. ‘She didn’t.’ ‘Oh,…
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LEON’S SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS INC.
It seemed absurd to her. ‘You think I should have one security camera to cover the entrance and then a second security camera to cover the first camera?’ ‘Exactly.’ ‘Why?’ ‘In case the first security camera is tampered with. That way you’ll see them do it.’ ‘Okay,’ she paused. ‘But what if they tamper with…
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A HELPING HAND
‘Five miles. Average pace ten minutes and thirty seconds per mile. Total duration fifty-two minutes and thirty-five seconds. Last mile duration eleven minutes.’ Paul fumbled with his smartphone and found the ‘stop’ button on his running app. ‘Run complete. Congratulations,’ the calming American female voice told him. He sat down on the low wall of…
Iain Kelly 